Yes, I chose this profession. Well, actually, it chose me, but only another teacher understands the impact of that statement.
Yes, I get multiple breaks within my "work year." And yes, that is a "perk" of my profession. However, had you been surrounded by the walking hormones I shared my day with today, you would understand the requirement of said breaks in order to keep teachers from locking their students in small closets. I equate it to an animal mother eating her young.
Yes, I work in one of the best schools in Cobb County. Am I thankful for the job? Absolutely. Do I love my kids? 97.5% get unfaltering affection. Do I have abundant parental involvement? To a fault. Do my kids perform well on standardized tests? Who gives a rat's patootie?! (But yes, they do.)
Yes, God has blessed me with the ability to deal with 8th graders when even their own parents want nothing to do with them. Yes, I have an exorbitant amount of patience, which is currently wearing very thin. However, that does not mean that parents shouldn't have rules.
So here are the top 10 rules for parents of middle school students.
1) Your kids need pencils. Nice wooden ones. Oh, and paper. Your job is to provide these things... Not mine. It is also unfair for your kid to depend on his charm to get supplies from classmates. Buy school supplies.
2) Your kid has homework. Every night. Yes, it may even be 2 hours of homework. And flipping flash cards or studying (not reading) notes is homework. Every. Night.
3) Along the same lines, do not go into a parent meeting with ,"He tells me he is doing his homework. I mean, he's just in his room (with his cell phone and xBox)... And I never check on him. But he says he's doing it." Check on the homework. Often. My little people are still very naive and trustworthy, but I still scan homework as needed. Do it.
4) A personal life is integral to a middle schooler's existence. However, charm and wit will not pay the bills. There has to be a balance. Encourage sports and friendships, but equally enforce the importance of grades.
5) Be informed. When I don't know something is going on with my own children, I know it is my fault. For not reading the newsletter or checking the school website. You birthed your children. It is your job to check on their assignments. Teachers have around 175 students to keep track of while at work. We don't mind keeping track of what they do at school. In our realm. But if we take the time to schlep through the papers, enter the grades, provide the test retakes, enter the grades, and update the blog, you need to make it part of your day to help your child follow up. It is a symbiotic relationship.
6) Get the facts. I'll let you use your imagination on that one.
7) Talk to your kids. I know most parents do. But ask about their day. Ask about their friends. Ask about their teachers. Even when you get the usual, "nothing," it's still important to ask what your child learned that day. Not only does it keep you informed on what's happening at school; it also allows your kid the chance to share (ie. restate, teach, or summarize) what was learned at school.
8) Realize that the teacher is not the enemy. I promise. So please don't come in to meet with her in attack mode. I spend more time than you care to know listening to other teachers talk about how much they do care. I sometimes find myself wishing I didn't care as much as I do. There are times when some students and their problems keep me awake at night. I promise. And I know I am not in the minority.
9) Please, in the name of all that is holy, stop giving excuses for your kid. I know every kid has his quirks or issues. Trust me ... I get it. But giving excuses for every action (or lack of action) only gives your child more power. If he didn't do his homework, make him own it. If she didn't study for a test or didn't manage her time wisely, let her suffer the consequence. Providing an excuse for every wrong-doing only makes the slacking easier. My favorite students are the ones who greet me with a straight-up, "Mrs. Morris, I didn't study. The new Call of Duty came out Nd I played all night." I also like, "Mrs. Morris, I went to the Miley Cyrus concert last night and didn't study." I can't even get mad if she says it was worth the F on the test. Because it was honest.
10) Your kid is my kid. I never forget that your kid is the center of your world, just as I hope my little people have teachers who feel the same. I call them my "kids," much to my own offsprings' chagrin, because I spend more time with them than their parents do during the school year. I know what they want from life because I ask. I don't care if they like me as much as I like them; I have plenty of friends. I show them respect because I expect the same from them. I want them to be successful. I want them to achieve. I want them to hand friends. I want them to be happy. Well, as happy as a hormonal 8th grader can be. But I will not lower my standards to make life easier. And please don't ask me to.
As we embark on our final 2 days before Spring Break, I will try to hold back the tears behind my lids caused by stress. I will hold me tongue when your child doesn't behave exactly as I expect. I will contain my angst when he refuses to sat in his area, get to class on time, or keep his hands to himself.
And I will pray that after Spring Break, the kids will return with the attitude to make it through the rest of the year. Because high school is coming. And then the real world. And there are not many second chances in the real world. There are no IEPs or accommodations. So be prepared and prepare your child for the real world. Do it. It's your job as a parent.
