I Never Did Like Cold Turkey ...

This potty-training thing is for the birds. Really.

I hear what you are saying ...

"But, Keisha, you've already trained one kid? Why can't you do another one???"

And I completely agree with you. 100%.

But, as I've stated before, numerous times, my children are polar opposites. Allow me to illustrate.

When Kendall was 19-months-old, she sat on the potty. Quite often. She still wore diapers most of the time, but she would watch the bigger kids at the babysitter's house and do as they did. Of course, Kendall has her daddy's bladder (that of a race horse); ergo, she doesn't have to use the toilet that often. When the pediatrician suggested we start trying to use the potty, we were on it. I followed all the rules with Kendall, but she still seemed a little young, and I was honestly too pregnant and busy to keep an eye on her. We used the potty, on and off, for several months. Then, at her 2-year appointment, the doctor said it was time. (As a side note, she later retracted this statement when Tanner was born, for obvious reasons. OK, if you don't have two kiddos, it may not be that obvious.) So we went full force ... and then I was about 16 months pregnant (well, it seemed that way), and we were moving into a new house. Kendall was more pre-occupied with pole-vaulting out of her crib than potty-training, so we put the pull-ups back on until little Tanner moved in.

OK, fast forward to November 2006 -- Kendall wakes up one morning and says she wants to wear her big girl panties. I put them on her, set the timer for 45 minutes, and we were on our way to a potty-trained 2 1/2 year old. It took two days with a timer, and she was done. Completely potty-trained. Even at night. And since then, she has had only 2 accidents. Ever.

So, imagine my dismay after going cold turkey 3 times now. Tanner just isn't into it. He has no problem whatsoever sitting in his poop. He enjoys the one-on-one attention a diaper change will get him. And I've done all the things "they" suggest -- letting him pick out a potty seat (we now have 4), allowing him to choose some really cool big boy underwear (we now have 18 pair that include, but are not limited to, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Thomas the Train, and tractors), and giving him lots of juice and setting the timer. So what is different? Why is Tanner so much more difficult? I mean, honestly, he is such a laid back kid. Happy 90% of the time, even those he is 3 and it truly is the worst year of his life so far. Loving. Cuddly. But there are a few differences I've noted so far.

First, like I said before, Kendall had big kids to watch. Tanner is on his own. The only people he gets to watch and learn from are Mommy and Daddy. (Kendall is very private and won't let him in the bathroom with her. I'm not about to force it on her.)

Second, Tanner has Mommy's bladder ... about the size of a pea. And not a big snow pea ... more like those little Leussear peas you eat with roast beef and mashed potatoes. And he drinks a lot. So he really needs to be on a potty about every 10 minutes. And who wants to do that?

That leads me to number three : Tanner is much busier. Kendall was a big "watcher;" she watched TV and movies, she watched me do stuff around the house, she watched Tanner being a baby, and she read books. Tanner is non-stop. Always. (And I know this because I laid in the bed with him the other night and he moves non-stop in his sleep, too. I swear.) So who wants to stop playing every 10 minutes to use the potty? Fair enough ...

Lastly, I don't think I'm really being that "strong" about this with Tanner. He pitches huge fits about putting on the big boy underwear in the mornings. BIG fits. Kicking and screaming. Then, he pitches a fit about using the potty before we get in the truck to pick Kendall up from school. So I have to put a pull-up on him so he won't go all over the truck, and then he pitches a fit about taking it off when we get back home. And I'm not exaggerating. Tim will vouch for me here after seeing the evidence of said fit this weekend. I have bruises ...

So we've tried cold turkey three times now. It works for about half the day. Then something always comes up. And I'm really worn out over all of this.

I think I'll take my turkey a little warm for a few days ...

Learning a New Language

Did you know 40% of 1st marriages end in divorce? And 65% of 2nd marriages end in divorce? And 75% of 3rd marriages end in divorce?

I'm not getting divorced ... nowhere near it. But I still think that is a very scary statistic!! And I don't want to be a statistic. So I'm being proactive ...

Tim and I have a great marriage. He knows me like no other. He takes care of our family, he works hard to make sure we have a gorgeous roof over our heads and some extra money to "play" with. While we have certainly made some poor decisions when it comes to our money, we have, I feel, learned from our mistakes.

But our marriage, NO MARRIAGE, is perfect.

Don't hear me wrong -- I'm not complaining at all about my life. I love my husband. Probably more than he will ever know. He will never know that happiness he has brought me. I love my children ... I truly believe they are the reason God put me on this earth. But every relationship needs work -- work to keep it strong and thriving. Just like you have to practice to be good at a sport or a musical instrument, I think you need to practice to keep relationships healthy.

So in this new endeavor of practicing and nourishing my relationship with Tim, I picked up a book from the library called The Five Love Languages. I haven't finished it just yet, but my brain is already working overtime, thinking about all this book has to offer. In its less-than-150 pages, this book has completely changed the way I look at my marriage. It discusses how, after the initial "in love" phase of a relationship dissolves (usually around the 2-year mark), many people find themselves unable to feel the love they once did when the excitement was still there. Now Tim and I certainly were well past that "in love" 2 year phase when we got married ... we were engaged for 3 years. And before we had kids, I don't think we ever had a problem with communication. We had more energy to focus on each other and what each other needed/wanted. Now that these two aliens have taken over our lives, we hardly have one ounce of energy to devote to each other.

And that's not right. At all.

So I've read this book in hopes of finding a way to help Tim and myself communicate our feelings in a better way.

It basically says (in a nutshell) that everyone has a primary love language, whether it be needing to hear that you are appreciated (Words of Affirmation), needing a good one-on-one talk at the end of the day with no distractions (Quality Time), needing to be touched (Physical Touch), needing flowers or cards to feel loved (Receiving of Gifts) or needing help washing and drying dishes a few nights a week (Acts of Service). If you do not know your spouse's love language, then you probably are not making him feel loved the way he needs to feel loved. And, in return, your spouse may not know the right way to make you feel loved. I was intrigued once I started reading.

So my goal now is to get Tim to at least read the portion about my love language (Acts of Service). If I can figure out his love language, then we will be on our way to filling each other's "love tanks." (I know it sounds super cheesy, but I'm willing to do anything and everything to make Tim feel loved and appreciated.)

Weekend with Curious George

Kendall had her first sleepover this weekend. She brought home a friend from school, a boy friend, she said. His name is George ... Curious George.



Yes, Kendall was chosen to bring home a stuffed animal in a backpack with a scrapbook this weekend. When I picked her up on Friday, she was SO proud, swaying back and forth with two backpacks on her back. At first I thought she had someone else's pack. Once she was in the truck, I figured out what she had, but she told me her teacher gave it to her.



"Wow, Mrs. Nations must really like Kendall if she bought her a stuffed animal," I thought to myself.



Then, upon emptying the backpack at home, I realized this is a "gift" in a different way. Kendall was told to take George everywhere she went, to take pictures, and then to journal their visit in the scrapbook before returning him to school on Monday morning.



So on Friday, we had some yummy popcorn for snack. George was introduced to Snickers. He rode on Kendall's back while she played outside and rode her bike. We played dress up with him. He ate dinner at Nana's house Friday night, and then he and Kendall had a slumber party in her bedroom.




Saturday morning we slept late (til 7:30!!) and made polka-dot pancakes for breakfast. When Tim went to work, we went back over to Nana's for an hour to visit with the great-aunts, and then came home to just rest during the day. We watched Peter Pan and cuddled ... all 4 of us ... Kendall, George, Tanner, and me. MeMaw and PePaw even stopped by for a surprise visit, and George got to meet them!




Sunday we took the entire family (including George in his backpack) to the 4-Wheel Parts Show. After driving through a tsunami, we arrived at the Galleria to see some really big tires on some really big trucks and Jeeps. While it wasn't as exciting as I thought it would be (I thought they'd be able to sit in the trucks and such), it was free and it got us out of the house. So I thought it was fun. We ate at Jocks and Jills, hit the Depot on the way home, and then rested at the house. Kendall and I had to work on her "homework" and get George's account of our visit into his scrapbook, which was tough since we had a hard time translating his Monkey-Speak. ;0)


All in all, Kendall's first sleepover was a tremendous success. She slept better when George was here than she has in a long time. And we were really sad to see him go back to school on Monday morning. Hopefully, he will be able to come visit again soon.