Parenting 201

I'm wondering what I missed when I didn't go to those first-time parent classes when I was pregnant.  I was on strict bed rest for a month, so I skipped the hospital tour (seeing that I had already been there 3 or 4 times before delivery) and the breastfeeding class (you've heard how that turned out for me).  I seem to remember there was an option for a first-time parent class as well that Tim and I decided against for unknown (or un-remembered) reasons.

Now here I am, at 7 AM 6.5 years later, after a night of tossing and turning, wondering if that class and its instructor could have told me how to handle our current situation.

This girl thing is hard.

I talked to K yesterday afternoon about her alleged indiscretions at school.  The first time I tried, she denied it.  At first.  But just like I knew she would, once I told her that she wouldn't be in trouble if she just told the truth, she crumbled.  I used my Mommy Eyes on her.  She admitted that she did in fact show the un-named boy her panties and that she did pull her shirt up for him.  Of course, I had expected her to tell me it was a complete lie, so I was unprepared.

Note to all you Girl-Mommies -- Be prepared for the worst.

So after she admitted she did it, I proceeded with the usual questions ...

Why?  When?  How did it happen?  Why?  Why?  WHY????

Those were followed with ...

Kendall, look at me.  Put your legs down and look at me in my eyes.  This is serious, Kendall.  Mommy's not kidding.

Anyway, I got no information about which boy it was, which led me to say, "You showed your panties to a boy and you don't even remember his name?!"  (I'm having nervous flash forwards to our teen years here ...)  Because I was left with nothing else to say (yes, unprepared), I left it with, "If you ever do this again, you will be in SUPER BIG TROUBLE."

Yeah, that'll get her.

When K headed outside to play (and not with the big girls in the neighborhood -- I'm thinking I may need to have a talk with them before we proceed with playtime), I scoured the shelves of the family room.  There must be a book that covers this, right?  Parenting 101 covered all the new baby stuff -- changing, sleeping, feeding, burping, first aid ...

But I need a book that covers indecent exposure and being a follower!!!

Where are those books?

I then decided I was going to wait for Tim to get home and let him talk to her.  But he was working late and I really wanted this taken care of before the weekend so I wouldn't have to worry about it anymore.  (Uh-hunh, right.)  So then I found the kids rolling in the grass, I took it as an opportunity to bring them back in the house (picture grass everywhere ...) and finish our talk.  While K changed her clothes, I asked her again to tell me who the boy was.  She said he told her to pull up her shirt and pull down her pants, and that this wasn't the first time.  When she said she couldn't remember his name, I told her that she could point him out when I am there Wednesday ...

And that did the trick. :)

"It was --------, Mommy"  (The boy's name has been omitted for his protection.)

So now I have a name, and a story to work with.  I know several people have told me this is not a big deal and I should just let it go.  But I really don't want everyone thinking that my daughter is the 1st grade hoochie.  I talked to K and told her why it is important to keep the underparts covered up and why it is important to go with your first instinct when you feel like something is wrong.  This is the second time this boy told her to do this, and she told him no the first time ... so I'm not sure why she cracked this time.  I can tell it was innocent enough and she didn't mean anything by it, but I certainly don't want to continue on into puberty with a little girl who gives in and follows the pack every time just to be cute or cool.

Hence the tossing and turning.

This parenting stuff is so hard.  I mean, I did OK making them and  growing them ... and I did pretty well in the baby stages, all things considered.  But this new stuff is hard -- I'm not sure I'm cut out for it.  How do I know that what I'm saying is sinking in?  Do I just keep repeating it?  Do I record my voice and put it under her pillow at night, sending subliminal messages?

"Do not show your panties ... do not show your panties ..."

But then again, I don't want her to be ashamed of her body and think that nudity is a bad thing.  I want her to be proud of her body and know that she is beautifully created.

I just want her to know she is beautifully created within the walls of our home. :0)

I suppose this is just one of the difficulties of having a little girl.  Certainly there will be more in the future ...

Now I need to head to the bookstore and see if I can find the Cliffs Notes for that Parenting 201 class ...

Favorite Photo Friday

I have to sneak this one in before I hit the recliner.

Tanner Michael

Child's Play Halloween Party - October 2010

Nothing special about it, really.  Just that he's in it. :)  And if you can't tell what he's doing, he's chowing down on his cookie because it was the only thing he had to eat at his party.  Besides candy.

I guess next time we have a school function I should pack him a PB & J sandwich.

Strangest kid ever -- he doesn't like pizza.

But he loves cookies.  And being Venom.  And having me at his parties at school.

I love being a Mommy.

Hope for Boys!!

Kendall is going to be a cheerleader for Halloween.  Yes, she's making my dream come true.  Of course, as we strolled through the aisles of Halloweentown of Halloween for Less or Halloweenland (I don't remember what it's called), she kept pulling on the princess costumes -- "Mommy, I wanna be this."  Most of the Disney costumes are too small for her now, and that makes me a little sad.  So once she figured she couldn't be a princess, we started scouring for the perfect costume.  We tried on Tinkerbell (Not technically a princess ...) and Alice in Wonderland (which I thought was pre-cious!).  Then we tried on Daphne and some movie star thing.  She loved the movie star costume, but it was way too long, and I wasn't much in the mood to do alterations.  We passed down the aisle one last time (as her eyes and hands gravitated toward the big girl costumes that are way too "big" for her) and she spotted the cheer costume.  I'm pretty sure it caught her eye simple because it was pink.  And it had pom-poms.  At least that's what I thought at first.

Now, after my conversation with the AP at her school, I'm thinking K may have chosen it because it shows her belly.

I'm afraid to admit it, but I think my daughter is growing up too quickly.  More so than I originally thought.  I mean, I can see that she is physically getting bigger ... her jeans are too short and her shoes get tighter more quickly.  Her hair is getting longer and her big, squishy baby cheeks are now a thing of the past.  And as hard as I try to fight it, she wants to grow up.  And I'm afraid now that it may be happening faster than I thought!

According to the AP, I may have a streaker on my hands.

Yep, I should've just let K wear her underwear for Halloween, as it appears that she is showing them to her classmates anyway.

Allegedly.

I'm still waiting to get her side of the story, but according to the AP, a boy's mom sent in a note saying that K showed her "chest" and her panties to her son at school.  On two separate days - one day of chest and one day of panties.  Of course, when the AP asked K about it, she had no idea what she was talking about.  (A lie?  We'll see ...) and when she questioned the boy, he couldn't "give any specifics."  Specifics?  Like what?  When it happened?  Where?  How?

I'm seriously having a hard time with this one.

I know my daughter.  And while she may have a slight fascination with the boobies in my family (mine, her grandmothers', her aunts' ...), she hasn't been exposed to anyone else's.  It's not like we have Playboy magazines lying around the house.  As for the panties, I'm not so sure.  K is super modest -- she hasn't let me come in the bathroom with her while she pees since she was 3.  So I just can't see this happening.

Anyway, that's what the call was about.  I spent all day thinking that I may be getting a job offer out of this ...

Geesh.

Follow Up

I must follow up my last post with the conversation my children had last night while I was getting dinner ready.

Allow me to set the scene for you ...

I'm in the kitchen, slaving away, getting dinner ready.  (OK, so it was hardly slaving.  I was heating up chicken nuggets and jambalaya from the Butcher Shop, but whatevs.)

Kendall and Tanner had been called downstairs in order to wash their hands before dinner.  We must rid ourselves of as many germs as possible before consuming food.  And as messy as my urchins are, it is important to be rid of the germs.  (Picture: spitting, petting the dog while eating, sharing drinks, wiping snot on shirt, coughing and sneezing, smacking ...)  Kendall kept trying to get Tanner to jump from the coffee table to the sofa; this is one of their favorite past times.  (Please refer to my post on allowing them to jump on the sofa so I can get dinner ready.  Probably shouldn't have started that habit when they were smaller.)

Anyhoodle, I calmly reminded them that they are not supposed to jump from the table to the sofa, that our home is not a circus or a trapeze act.  Then, I reminded them again, this time not so calmly, that if they didn't stop, I was going to take a marble from their buckets.  After removal of the marbles (you see how my threats work, right?), I told them that they were not going trick or treating if one more person jumped anywhere in the house.  And it wasn't really a "told" situation -- it was more of a "yell."

So then the two of them proceeded to sit on the sofa, heads huddled together, talking about me.

Really??

It was like sitting in the high school cafeteria my senior year all over again.

This is what I heard.  Mind you, I'm not sure they were trying very hard to be discreet ...

K: Mommy is so mean, right?
T: Yeah, she is.
K: She never lets us do anything fun, does she?
T: Nope.
K: Daddy is so much better, isn't he?
T: Yeah.  I like Daddy.
K: (with tears in her eyes) I wish Daddy was here, don't you?
T: Yeah, me, too.
K: Daddy is so much better.  sniff, sniff
T: Yeah ...

What the heck??

Anyway, I was going to let it bother me, but then I decided to beat them at their own game.

So here's what I said.

"Oh, yeah?  Well, just remember that MOMMY is the one who buys your clothes and cooks your food (most of the time).  And MOMMY is the one who buys your Christmas presents, birthday presents, and Halloween costumes (OK, well it's Daddy's money, but I drive to the store and everything).  So there!"

That'll show 'em. right?!

Take Me Back

I just finished reading some posts by a fellow blogger.  What was posted really took me back.  The author was talking about the excitement of pregnancy and the anticipation of what was to come.  This couple is growing their first baby ... and it's funny how, in retrospect, everything takes on a new meaning.  I remember being pregnant and everyone older and wiser telling me that being so tired was my body's way of preparing me for the future; I had no idea how long I would be without sleep.  I remember reading countless books about what was happening inside my body and how to make a schedule and how to get the baby to sleep and how to prepare for birth and how to prepare for nursing ... ugh, countless, ENDLESS books.  But I read them all with relish, as if I couldn't take in enough information to prepare myself for becoming a mother.

What I also remember is how my pregnancy didn't go as planned.  At all.  I found myself on bed rest 9 weeks before Kendall's due date ... wishing I could get off the couch just to do a load of laundry.  Ha!  What I'd give for some bed rest now. :)  And then I remember heading to the hospital, all full of hopes and dreams of a natural birth after watching Birth Day on the Discovery Channel for 4 weeks.  I was ready to hit that birthing ball hard and go for walks and practice deep breathing ... and I did all those things, to no avail, and ended up with a C-section.  Then I recall crying and sobbing through the hours of attempting to nurse ... trying to keep the baby awake, trying to get her to latch, trying to get her  to drink enough to "bring" my milk in ... and then finally giving up because it was just too much.  And I remember feeling like a failure -- like my body had failed me.  Isn't this what women's bodies are for?  To grow babies and feed them?

Of course, I didn't remember much of this until I read what someone else wrote about their experiences of becoming first time parents.

But what I remember more than anything is what it felt like to hold Kendall in my arms for the first time.  What it felt like to look into those little eyes just below that precious little pink hat.  To see the love in Tim's eyes as he gazed at his baby girl.  How awesome and surreal it was to finally have her little finger wrapped around mine.

Even now it's like looking at a piece of my heart walking around outside my body.

Then I realize -- well, every time I look at her (and Tanner, for that matter) in all of her amazement -- THIS is what I was made for.  She is my reason for being.  And she is truly one of the best things I have ever done.

And I can't wait for my fellow blogger to experience this for the first time!

Favorite Photo Friday

So I missed last Friday ... so here are two!!

Fire Station Field Trip w/ Child's Play

September 2008

Fire Station Field Trip w/ Child's Play

October 2010

I realized last Thursday what a gift I have been handed, being able to stay home with my children.  While last week was a true whirlwind, I loved every second of it.  We had field trips and fun runs and fundraisers and lunch dates and library days and dentist appointments and report cards and dance ...

By the time Friday arrived, I was one pooped Mommy!

But then I realized how lucky I am.  This is exactly what I hoped for 5 years ago when I found out I was pregnant with Tanner, and Tim and I decided I was going to stay home the following school year.  Granted, it was exhausting.  Honestly, most of my days are.  But this is what I signed up for, right?  Being a stay at home mom isn't really what the name implies -- in fact, I spend a large portion of my day out of our home in order to be a stay at home mom.

And while I have talked many times about how excited I am about returning to the workplace, I will be sad to not always be available to go on field trips and read to the kids' classes.

But anyway, here are my two favorite pictures.  One from Kendall's preschool field trip and one from Tanner's.  It's amazing ... my children are amazing ... being a mommy is amazing ...

Crappy friend, Party of one ...

I owe someone an apology.  Because I have apologized for several hours now, I am going to continue here.

I, once again, have inserted my nose in someone else's business -- business of which I have so understanding.  I'm sure many of you were reading one of my posts, thinking, "Wow, Keisha, if you were really her friend you wouldn't be talking about this."

And you are right.

And I now feel totally and completely disgusted with myself about it.

So here I state that I will no longer share the affairs of anyone else on my blog.

I will stick to things I know.

Like me ... my kids ... my marriage ... my parents ... and my chaos.

Sorry, again.

Favorite Photo Friday

Tanner and Dakota

Fall Festival - October 2010

This one was taken this morning.  I know it's not a perfectly posed picture.  It does't have beautiful lighting or anything spectacular.  There's even an arm and leg that belong to one of the best preschool teachers ever.

But this one is one of my favorites because it is the first picture I have of Tanner with one of his friends.  His very own friend.

And actually Dakota is his girlfriend.

OK, she's one of his girlfriends.  And she is precious.  And how do I know she is his girlfriend?  Because he told Kendall at dinner tonight.

"Tanner, was that girl with the pink hair your friend?"

"Yep.  Her name is Dakota."

"I like her.  She's cute."

"Yeah, she is.  No, actually, she's beautiful."

"Beautiful?  Is she your girlfriend?"

"Yep.  I love her.  But I love Gabby too.  Oh, and Cami."

Oh, boy ... we're in trouble.

Consider the Itch Scratched!!

Today was Tanner's 4 year check up.

If you are a mom, you now what I'm saying.  Enough said.  And you also understand my blog title.

I went about the morning as if it was any other morning ...

"Mommy, do I have school today?"
"No, baby, it's just you and me today."
"Mommy, where are we going today?"
"Oh, I don't know, baby."
"Mommy, do you want to get McDonald's for lunch today?"
"Hmm, maybe, baby.  That sounds pretty good."
"We'll see, Mommy?"
"Yep, we'll see."

I proceeded as planned.  I took my shower and got Tanner dressed as if nothing was going on.  Then we headed to the doctor's office, as if it was our usual outing.  He figured it out fairly quickly.  Then I had to explain why Sissy wasn't with us for the doctor visit.  And I had to explain why we were going to the doctor when Tanner isn't sick.  Anyway, we got there, we waited 30 minutes (as expected) and then proceeded to the dreaded room.  Thank God we got an awesome nurse who was loving and sweet.  I hate it when we get crappy nurses who seem to think they shouldn't interact with the kids at all.  Like they are an inconvenience.  But Aubrey was wonderful.

She weighed Tanner (who is still in the 95th percentile and only 3 pounds more than his 6 year-old sister) and took his temperature (under his tongue for the first time ...).  Then she took his blood pressure (he loved the cuff) and said we needed to check his hearing and eyes for his PreK form.  He loved the hearing test (He got to wear an ear bud and thought he was listening to an iPod.) and the vision test was even more fun because he got to wear these cute little glasses with one eye covered.  (I wish I had taken a picture!!)  Anyway, I know this is a boring post because you aren't in my head to revisit the memory, but the whole reason for naming this post "Consider the Itch Scratched" is because the baby itch I've been feeling was officially scratched this morning.

When I was holding my son down while he had to endure the pain of 5 shots ...  while I was looking into his sweet baby blue eyes that were begging me to make the pain stop ... I knew then that HE was the last baby I ever wanted.  The last one I ever want to hold in my arms.  And I never want to have to do this again ... we just crossed the final bridge of vaccinations ... and I am not doing that again!

Interpretation Needed

I'm not sure what I ate or drank before bed last night, but I'm going to be sure not to repeat it.

I used to have nightmares when I slept on my back.  Without fail, I'd wake up on my back every time I was being chased or found myself unable to scream in my dreams.  I always assumed it was because I had a mild case of sleep apnea; after kids, the nightmares stopped for the most part.  No more waking up to E.T. over my bed or Snickers barking at an intruder. ;0)

But last night's dream was way to real.  I'm surprised I didn't wake Tim with the sobbing or screaming.  But then again, I guess that was all in my head.  I've not had a dream this vivid since I was pregnant (and this one certainly wasn't as "enjoyable" as those dreams ...)

I suppose the root comes from blogging before bed.  Since I blogged about our Florida trip, I suppose traveling was on my brain.  And Mom is leaving for a trip to San Diego this morning, so I guess flying was on my mind.  But where the rest of it comes from, I'm unsure.

So Tim, Mom, the kids and I are in an airport.  I don't remember why.  We are headed to the car in the parking deck when, naturally, Kendall needs to go potty.  Now, Kendall never has to potty, so if she says she needs to go, she really needs to go.  There's no waiting.  So I grab her hand and we head back into the airport.  Of course, then Tanner pipes up with, "I need to go, tooooooooooo!"  Tim yells for us to hurry up, so the three of us run into the airport and ask for the closest restroom.  (Side note: I asked Chris Lewis where the restroom was.  He went to high school with us ...)  Because K is independent (and Tanner isn't), she went into a stall by herself while I helped Tanner into another one.  (Moms, you feel where this is going, don't you??)  I help T potty, and in our mad rush to hurry, we wash our hands and run out of the restroom.

T and I return to the car, everyone climbs in, and we head home.  (But home is not this home ... it is the house I grew up in on Hickory Grove Rd.  That seems to always be the case in my dreams.)  When we get home, Mom gives Tanner a bath while I hop in the shower.  As we are winding down before bed, and I'm sitting on the couch with my hair in a towel (which I never do), I come to the realization that Kendall is not there.

That's right.  I just realized that I left my 6 year old daughter in the restroom at the airport.  Nightmare ensues.

In my fluffy white robe and the towel on my head, Tim rushes me back to the airport, all the while screaming about what a horrible mother I am to have left our daughter in the restroom.  I proceed to scream back at him that I wouldn't have been rushing so much if he wasn't so impatient and short-tempered.  We get to the airport when I realize I don't have any shoes on.  Tim makes me go in the airport anyway to find Kendall.

So here I am, wandering around the airport in my fluffy white robe with no shoes on, screaming for Kendall.  No one helps me or even looks at me, except Chris Lewis and Vince Roldan (who also appears to be working at the airport).  Then I think I spot Kendall sitting on a bench with some of her friends from school (Zoey was there), but when I get to her, it's not Kendall after all.

Then I woke up.

Seriously!!  And now I can't get my heart to stop pounding.  I've been awake since 7:30, and I'm still stressed!

Interpretations???

When Can We Go Back??

I've been trying to find some time to post about our family vacation last week ... and this is the first moment I've had.  I want to make sure I have ample time and energy to devote to the topic, seeing as how it was our first "real" vacation as a family.  I mean by "real vacation" that we had two adults and two kids who do not require naps (yay!!) and a nana.  And we were at the beach.  And we had this absolutely fabulous day at Disney planned.  Tim and I were excited beyond belief about sharing this experience with the kids, and we couldn't wait to get to Florida.  So we woke the kids last Satuday morning, ate some breakfast, and loaded up.  Poor Nana was squeezed in the back between two boosters (which beats two car seats), we were loaded up with movies (but no batteries for the headsets, which made for a cranky Daddy), but we were headed for fun.

And we were going to enjoy it, dammit.

The kids were AMAZING on the drive down.  No joke, they never complained about needing to pee (which I was worried about, seeing as this was our first trip without diapers) or being hungry.  OK, wait, there were complaints around 10 about being hungry ... but I think that was me ...

I think Kendall made Tanner (and Nana) watch Enchanted two or three times, but then they colored and played with their electronic gadgets.  Before we knew it, we were there.  And the week went off without a hitch!  Tim and I were able to sleep in (Thank you, Nana!!) every morning.  The kids didn't fight.  I got to eat and drink whatever I wanted.  We played in the pool every day.  It was perfect.



Wednesday was our day to visit the Mouse.  Of course, Tuesday night I was worried everyone (translation: kids) wouldn't sleep due to excitement.  But the kids had to be woken on Wednesday morning in order to head out.  The drive from Cocoa Beach to Orlando is about 1 hour and 10 minutes or so, but we made it in good time.  I was giddy in the car, counting signs on the way there.  Once we were in the parking lot, I think Tanner was just excited about riding the golf-cart tram to the monorail!!  Once off the monorail, we were full-speed ahead, trying to squeeze in as much as we could in our one day at the Magic Kingdom.  I had fun, and everyone else had fun, but I must say, it was NOT what I thought it would be.

Before going, I pictured characters walking through the streets, eager to meet my adoring children.  I pictured Kendall in an embrace with at least one princess ... not picky about which one.  I pictured Tim and myself, watching with big smiles as Tanner talked to Woody and Buzz, telling them how much he loves their movies.  Now, after the fact, I have to admit Disney was nothing like what I expected.

Don't get me wrong: we had fun.  And I'm pretty sure Tim and the kids loved every second (Well, except for the seconds sitting and waiting for the parade, in which old people kept trying to creep in on our space.).  But I was left feeling a little... disappointed.  I never got that embrace I pictured between Kendall and a princess.  Or even a fairy.  If you have a daughter, only you can understand the angst I felt when I left the park.  We didn't see one princess.  How is that possible??  OK, we saw Snow White when we first got there, but she was skipping away.  Then we caught Jasmine and Ariel just as they were closing up shop.  (Side note:  I wasn't aware that there were scheduled times for visiting with the characters.  Moms, you should have shared this with me!!)  And what a crappy job -- to be the one who has to turn the little girls (and their wishful moms) away.  Anyway, the kids were able to meet (and touch) Buzz Lightyear, which left Tanner with feelings of ecstasy, but I was still let down when we never found a princess to hug.

But ... the kids were happy.  They got to ride every ride (except Space Mountain, though they could've ridden it), and Splash Mountain was the favorite.  We ran into our neighbors, which was funny.  The kids got to eat french fries, like, 4 times that day.  They got to stay up late and watch fireworks and a parade.  And they got new toys -- Kendall wanted a parasol ("Its not an umbrella, Mommy.  It's a parasol to block the sun.") and Princess Minnie ears, and Tanner picked a pack of cars that looks like the rides we rode and some spinning cars with Woody, Buz, and Zerg on them ("I don't want any stupid ears, Mommy!  I want something with wheels!").  I'm glad we did it ... but I also do not understand how in the world people do this two or three times a year!

Hmmm ... what else ... Oh!!  Tanner learned how to swim!!  Seriously!!  So I now am the proud momma (and Tim, the proud Daddy) of two swimmers!

Both kids rode the slide at the condo (which is WEAK after riding Splash Mountain).

I have recovered from the nasty stomach issue I was dealing with ... unfortunately, I recovered so well that I gained 5 lbs. on vaca.

I still think my mom is the best ever.  She went out of her way to make sure Tim and I had time to ourselves and to rest while in Florida.  We are blessed.

Tim got to rest; and for the first time, it didn't take him 3 days to get used to doing nothing!  I think he was just so over-worked before we left that he couldn't wait to relax.

And now we're back to the grind.

But vacation was fun.  And we got to see some snakes and spiders.

Even if there weren't any princesses ... ;0)

Favorite Photo Friday

In honor or October 1st, I present to you my favorite photo for this Friday!

October 31, 2009

It is amazing to me how much these two little super-urchins have changed in just one year.  Tim and I, not so much.  I love this time of year.  Fall is quickly becoming my favorite season, with the changing of the leaves and the cool mornings.  We can finally get outside and play again after the scorching days of summer.  Blue Moon has started putting it's Harvest Moon flavor back on the shelves.  Starbucks is making Pumpkin Spice Lattes again.  I bought my first bag of Indian Corn today.  The kids have started discussing what they are going to be for Halloween.  College football is back in gear (though the games have been dismal, to this point).  And after I pick Kendall up from school, I am planning on digging out the pumpkins and jack-o-lanterns.  Yes, I love fall.