While I Process

I've got some time while my hair processes, so I might as well take advantage.

Last night, Tim and I took the kids to see the Creekview Grizzlies play against Sequoyah.  I figured since my kids are in the Sequoyah district and I have a little baby cousin who QB's for the Creekview, it was a good game to go watch.  So we loaded up the crew and headed out, dressed in green and blue (yes, I know, not black and gold ...).

First, I had no idea how much it would cost to get into the game.  I never had to pay to enter the gates of any high school game.  It cost our family $30 to get in this game.  Seriously.  (Side note -- Completely worth it.)

Second, Friday nights must be the nights all the high school hoochies whip out their shortest shorts.  I'm pretty sure I saw some butt cheeks at that game last night.

Third, the "kids" look very different now than they did back in my day.  I said several times last night that the kids today look much older.  I know.  It makes me sound like an old maid.  But the girls had much bigger boobs and the boys looked like full grown men.  As I watched the team warm up, I was amazed at the amount of facial hair on the field!!

Fourth, divorce sucks.  I know ... seems completely unrelated to football.  But we went to the game with my brother-from-another-mother to watch his son play.  And as we sat amongst the family that included his ex-wife and her new boyfriend, her other ex-husband and his parents, and my aunt, I was reminded of how much I loved this family when they were a complete unit.  Shane and Dan were one of my favorite couples; I loved being at their house and around their kids (who are now on the brink of adulthood).  I hate that their family fell apart.  However, it was nice to see everyone getting along last night (and I hope it wasn't just for show).

Last, Go, Hayden Hall!!!  How awesome to watch the little boy that I used to hold in diapers.  He is an awesome player and an even better young man.  Shane, you've done good!!  I look forward to possibly watching him on TV one day!!

Not Among the Masses

I may be shot for this post.

But I'm going to post it anyway.

I finally finished Fifty Shades of Grey last night.  I say "finally" because I've been trying to read it for about a month or so now.

Yes, ladies, it took me more than 10 hours (gasp!) to read the first installment in the trilogy.  Not because I was sneaking away to be alone or because I wanted to read it by myself so no one would see me blushing.  But because I honestly didn't enjoy it.

I bought the book for my Kindle under false pretenses.  After reading all the rave reviews from my mommy friends, I was hoping for some good, what I prefer to call, mindless beach smut.  But this book goes above and beyond that.  The term "Mommy Porn" has been used loosely to describe it; I think that is a rough estimate of what falls between the overs of this one.  Being a modest, semi-private, Christian woman, I just couldn't get into this one.

I'm sure there is a story in there somewhere, but I couldn't get past all the dirty sex and F-bombs to find the story.

So there you go.  I will not be reading the 2nd and 3rd books.  I'm just not interested.  I don't care if Anastasia takes him back.  I don't care if they have a beautiful love story when its all over with.  I don't care who plays Christian or Ana in the movie (though i find it terribly difficult to imagine them actually making a MOVIE out of this ...).  I don't care why he is the way he is, where the scars came from, or why she didn't run for the hills the first time he opened that door.

And that's several hours of party planning I've missed and $9.99 I'll never get back.

Apparently there are others who agree with me ... for different reasons ...

Feel free to post your disagreements ... now ...

Blessings

Every year as June 6th rolls around, I find myself in a really grumpy mood.  Of course, I don't realize why the grump has washed over me.  I usually contribute it to a full moon or grouchy kids who are already bored with their summer vacation.  Or I may blame it on Tim's work schedule or my lack of direction/motivation or the fact that I'm so frustrated with not being able to find another teaching job.

Alas, I woke up this morning and Kendall announced, "Today is June 6th, Mommy."

She was, of course, reminding me that her 8th birthday is only 10 days away.

But all I heard was "June 6th."  And I was suddenly overwhelmed with sorrow.  Most of you know today is the anniversary (which I hate calling it because anniversaries are supposed to be happy ...) of my dad's death.  Yes, I still remember every second of that day.  I'm not sure those memories will ever fade.

But what does scare me is that other memories are fading -- I don't dream of him as much as I used to.  I remember what he looks like and what his voice sounds like, but somethings I can't remember.  And that makes me so sad.

How will I tell the kids about their grandpa if I can't remember every single bit of him?  How can I make then understand what a loving and caring man he was?  How can I make them understand his passions and his ambitions?  How will I ever be able to make them believe how much he loved them -- even Tanner, whom he never met?

After moping for an hour and thinking about how to talk to them about what I'm feeling, I instead decided to look at it a different way.

I am so blessed to have had a man like that as my daddy.  I am blessed to have videos of him with his voice, so I'll never forget.  I'm blessed he was there to walk me down the aisle and to dance with me at my wedding.  I'm blessed I was able to see him holding my first born.  I'm blessed to have heard (and read) the words telling me he was proud of me.  I'm blessed to have handwritten notes and photos of him so I'll never forget what he looked like.

And I can share all of those memories with my kids, his grand babies.  I hope that my older nieces know how blessed they are to have memories of him.  He adored his granddaughters.  And I know he would have given anything to laugh with his grandsons.

So instead of being sad today, I will instead hold onto these blessings.

As Clean As Possible

I desperately need to clean my toilets, so I'm going to make this one quick.  But I feel the need to post it.

Tim and I have officially decided to change some things around here.  I'm ecstatic that he has jumped on the bandwagon with me (though he was thinking differently after seeing the last grocery bill!), but I think in the long run it will be what's best for our little family.

First, we are starting a new workout regimen on Monday.  After watching infomercials for a while, Tim decided on Insanity.  I know what you're thinking ... "You are insane."  Probably.  Hence, the name.  But we have to do something.  With age, Tim and I have found it harder and harder to stay in shape.  Weight lifting and resistance just aren't enough anymore.  And I am past the age where I can just workout and eat what I want, or not work out and starve.  So we are taking a huge step and beginning this crazy workout on Monday.  I will be posting some pictures so you can follow our journey. ;)


Along with our new workout, we are taking on a new style of eating.  Because we want optimal results, we have decided to follow the meal plan included with the workout.  That means cleaner eating -- more fruits and veggies, no sugar, no alcohol (The hell you say?!), lean meat, etc.  A friend suggested last year that I begin ordering farmer's market baskets, so we ordered one last week.  I was pleasantly surprised by what was included.  By getting a basket filled with unexpected goodies, we will be forced to cook with produce other than carrots and apples. For $18, we got all of this!  Considering a bag of apples at the store is usually $8, I am certain this would have cost at least twice that much at the store.  So my fridge is stocked with lots of greens and we have our first "fruit bowl" on the table in the kitchen.  Kids want a snack?  Get an apple.

We also planted our own garden.  I wish I had a picture of it!  It's not your regular garden -- it's a Pinterest-inspired garden.  And it's gorgeous.  I can't wait for the plants to start sprouting.  We are growing zucchini, tomatoes (big and small), green beans, green onions, red and green bell peppers, and corn.  And on top of that, our apple trees we planted last year have apples!!  Teeny, tiny little green apples!  I love feeling sustainable.  Now we just need to get our own cows and chickens and we are all set. ;)

The last change is more for the kids -- with all this clean eating research, I've read more and more about the harmful effects of high fructose corn syrup and artificial dyes.  So those won't be in our diet anymore -- or as much as I can control it.  I shopped on Thursday (as I always do) with the intention of reading every label while still trying to stick to my coupons and the sales.  It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.  For example, GoGurt even makes "safe" yogurt!  I spent about $30 more than what I usually do, but I came home with organic snacks, more produce, and hormone-free meat.  For the first time, I was 100% confident about everything on the belt.  (I sometimes find myself embarrassed by the junk I'm buying.  The belt is usually half good stuff and half bad stuff, or the adult end and the kid end.)

So we are kicking the habit.  Pray for me as I begin 60 days without wine ... and there may be a few slip ups.  But I'm excited about our new journey.  (I know Tim probably thinks that sounds corny, but that's OK.)  I'm just glad he's gonna get "healthy" with me.  I like having him around and I want us to be around, together, for a long, long time.

Four Letter Words

OK, it's not what you think.

But the last few weeks have been filled with four letter words. The first word that comes to mind is busy. We have been doing some much needed upheaval around the Morris house with some renovations and such. OK, so that was more than a few weeks ago, but it feels like its never ending. Tim and I continue to have conversations about how we need to finish Tanner's bedroom (we still haven't settled on a theme yet ...) and we still need to do some more stuff to Kendall's room to make it complete. We continue to "spring clean," which is really just our every week cleaning on steroids. Yard work has begun again, and while I love the green grass, I don't love the daily watering of the new flowers and trees. They are gorgeous, mind you, but I wish we could get a little rain so I didn't have to drag the hose(s) out to water.

The second four letter word that comes to mind is fast. I swear it hasn't been 6 months since I blogged. But the days just get away from me. I have good intentions, people. I have a long list of blog ideas on my note pad on my iPhone. Just in case I ever do get a second to blog. In fact, it is midnight right now and I want to get this down before I fall asleep. (And Tim is out with his boys so I really can't sleep anyway. But I digress ...). I realize we only have 30 days of school left and I will have a 3rd grader and a 1st grader in my house. Craziness, I tell you. While we were toying with the idea of repeating kindergarten, I can honestly say Tanner is ready to proceed after spending the day with him on a field trip yesterday. Not only was he 80% better behaved than most of the other boys; he was also bigger than 75% of the boys!! (This is of course a rough estimate ...) So, unless his teacher feels otherwise, my baby will be heading to the first grade in August. But, I swear, it was only a few weeks ago that we were gearing up for his preschool graduation ... Which leads me to the fact that I only have 25 days left?!?! What??? I can't believe I've already been through an entire school year with my babies. And they've grown so much ... It makes me sad to hear that they will be moving on to other rooms next year ...

Lastly, the past few weeks have been mean. Yes, it's a four letter word and it's hit our home like a ton of bricks. I you have a little girl hovering around the tween years, you know exactly what I am referring to. I know ... I hear you ... "But, Keisha, Kendall is an angel. She never misbehaves and see is always respectful when I see her."

Well, Tim and I are very happy that she acts that way for others. Because if you caught a glimpse of her mean streak, you'd surely gasp at what you saw. However, in her defense, she is surrounded by it. I just ordered a book called Little Girls Are Mean. I haven't started reading it yet, but it is about bully-proofing your child. Kendall is not a bully, but I fear she may not be strong enough to fend off one should one present itself. I also want her to know how to stand up for someone else if she sees a bully picking on someone else. We've been having some issues with friends at school, just regular girl stuff. I mean, who knew three girls couldn't play together without getting into an argument?? (Wait, I may have a flashback of something similar from when I was about 8...). Anyway, I feel like Kendall and I are growing further and further apart because I find it harder and harder to communicate with her when she is so flippant and, well, mean, for lack of a better term. And, in natural girl-fashion, I find myself being flippant and mean right back to her.

It's a vicious cycle.

But that's what's been going on around here.

Lots of four letter words flying around.

And that is why I havent blogged much.

But, on a brighter note, hubs did buy me an iPad. So I may be blogging more at night.

If I can just get used to the fact tat the return key and the back key are right next to each other, it won't take me so long to type an entry!!

Don't Hate Me Because I'm Frugal

I'm the worst friend ever.

I sit around my house, scanning the news feed on Facebook and think about how much fun everyone is having with their kids this week off from school.  All the pictures from the Chattanooga Aquarium and the circus ...

And then I remember that, before the break, I had told several of my mommy-friends to "call me" or "shoot me a text" when they got together and did things or if they wanted to have a play date.

Now here it is, Wednesday of the break, and one of my best mommy-friends called me to go to DAC Kids in Acworth.  Several moms were heading that way at noon, and there would be BOYS for Tanner to play with (which we almost never have).  As I pondered over getting in the shower after I finished the round of cleaning I had started ... and then considered tearing my kids away from the movie they are watching ... again ... and then it takes 30 minutes to get there ... and we'd have to eat something before we go ... and I need to be back home at 3 to work out (It's a commitment that I have to keep!) ...

Well, the kids would only have about 1.5 hours to play.  That's $20 (if you factor in gas) for 1.5 hours of play.  And then I'd have to fight with them to get home.  Not sure that's worth the mopey or the effort.

Yes, I know.  Excuses.  Excuses.  Excuses.

Most of my friends are used to my excuses.  But this time I feel they are valid.  I do plan to take the kids to a new place some time this week (as a reward for letting Mommy get all the things on the to-do list finished without killing each other), and I am not prepared to spend the money on two outings.

Let's face it -- I'm a cheapskate.

Yes, I own it.

After watching what I was spending for so long, I've just gotten used to the fact that I don't like to spend money anymore.

Also, I'm lazy about many other aspects in my life.

If the kids are getting along, I don't want to separate them.  If they are happy and content in their pajamas, God forbid I tear them away and pick a fight about what to wear to go out in public.  And all of this is just icing on the cake that I rather enjoy not getting dressed on my week off. ;0)

So I gracefully bowed out of the DAC Kids outing this morning.  And Tracy respectfully tried to guilt me into going.  And let me tell you, Tracy is a great guilt-tripper!  I just hope all of my mommy-friends don't stop inviting me out.  If we were playing in the back yard or having a play date at someone's house, I'd be all over it ... possibly ... probably ... maybe ...

But then I do still have some cleaning to do today ...

New Year's Resolutions

I hate them.

But every single, cotton-picking year, I make them.

Usually, I stick to them longer than your average Joe.  And usually they have something to do with looking better, eating better, working out more, etc.

But this year I'm making a resolution, well two really, that will make me feel better.  I hope.

And perhaps they will make others around me feel better as well.

#1: Be nicer to my children.  I have become the most impatient, intolerant mom with my kids lately.  I'm down right grumpy, actually.  So I'm going to try extra hard to listen, focus, and not multi-task when I'm with them.  If they need help with something, I will stop and help them.  They will only be little for so long ... they are half-way to 3rd and 1st grades ... and I feel like time is passing so quickly with them now.  Very rarely does K want anything to do with her momma ... which I thought wouldn't happen until she was much older.  Tanner still likes having me around, but he is stuck halfway between being "mommy's baby" and being "daddy's big boy."  And he can't decide which way he wants to lean most of the time.  Bless his little heart.

So I am going to spend every day of the next year being a better mommy to my kids.

Or at lead I'm going to try.

#2:  My reason for writing this right now.  I'm going to start blogging again.  I realize time has again gotten away from me ... so many things have happened in the last six months, both good and bad, and most people have only gotten snippets from Facebook status updates.  So I'm going to start writing again.  Maybe it will help me get my creative juices flowing again.  Or at least I can share all the awesome projects Tim and I have been doing around the house!  Or I can vent and get some feedback from some other people.  Either way, I'm going to start blogging again.

Not every day, mind you.  But I'm going to try.

So there they are.  My New Year's Resolutions for 2012.  Completely unrelated to weight loss.

Hopefully that will make them easier to maintain!! ;)

Bad Habits

I have a list of bad habits that I wish I could get rid of.  None of them are health-inhibiting or terribly awful -- at least not at first glance.  But still, they are habits that I truly wish I could stop or get rid of for the betterment of everyone around me.  I fear some of them may be habits that the kids are picking up, so I need to work on them.

I have a potty mouth.  It's really strange, but I have begun cussing more in the last few months than I did years ago before I had kids.  (Related?  Maybe!)  When I was teaching 6th grade, I concentrated on watching my mouth.  I began replacing dirty words with others, like "fudge" for the F word and "dad-nabbit" for GD. But recently I've caught myself using the bad words instead.  Why the change?  I'm not sure.  Perhaps I use the words to prove a point.  Maybe they make me feel grown up.  Maybe they make me feel cool or like I'm still part of the in-crowd (much like middle school when I first started using them around my friends).  Anyway, from my previous posts, you can see the the kids are starting to pick up on some of these words and the impact they can have, so I better start watching my potty mouth!

I complain.  A lot.  I am certainly not what one might call a glass-is-half-full person.  Perhaps its the worrier in me, but I tend to see the negative in most situations.  I've always been a 'fraidy-cat, but I've generally kept my thoughts to myself.  I know it drives Tim crazy, and I'm afraid it may also be affecting the kids.  So I'm gonna work on either a) seeing things more optimistically, or b) keeping my thoughts to myself.

I'm lazy.  There's no other word for it.  I sit around and complain, climbing on and off the scale as if the walk to the bathroom knocked off an amazing 10 pounds.  I talk a good game -- I can tell you how to count your points and eat good foods, but I don't do it myself.  I used to have such a good workout ethic -- I'm not sure if I've just gotten too comfortable.  Or maybe I just like wine too much.  I'm not sure.  But I am going to start working out again on Monday.  I AM!

I like TV too much.  Don't get me wrong -- I like reading too.  In fact, I'm quite a bookworm.  But especially during the fall season, poor Tim is confined to his recliner watching a plethora of smut TV.  I feel for him. I do.  But I just can't stop watching all these awesome shows.  Or even if they aren't awesome, I still want to see them.  Our DVR has been taken over by these shows for months on end.  Luckily for me, Tim also likes some of them (Hell's Kitchen, House, The Event), but he still has to suffer through some others (Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy).  Poor guy.  I'm not planning on fixing this one, though.  So hopefully some new "good" shows will be out this fall. ;0)  The new Zooey Deschanel show looks promising ...

I gossip.  You know the saying, "If someone talks about someone else in front of you, they will also talk about you"?  It's true.  Wait, don't think that means I'm talking about you.  But I could.  There are many times when I hear words coming out of my mouth and think, "Who are you to judge her, Judgey McJudgerson?"  I've never walked in anyone else's shoes, so I truly have no idea what anyone else is going through.  And I get so mad when people talk about me and my family -- the money we spend, the places we visit, the problems we have -- so I should really be better about not talking about others.

I'm addicted to the Internet.  Specifically, Facebook.  I think this is probably the one that drives everyone crazy more than anything else.  Getting an iPhone and putting the Facebook app on it was probably my first mistake.  Now I can keep up with all 367 of my friends whenever I want.  Because I was so concerned about their lives before they were my "friend" on Facebook, right?  I've tried to be better about sharing my every move on my status updates over the last few weeks -- I mean, who really cares if I'm doing laundry or taking a pee?  I think Facebook just gives SAHM's a chance to feel connected to the outside world.  As opposed to getting out in the outside world.  Which all goes back to being lazy.  Or a worrier.

Last, I'm content. OK, so this may not be a bad habit, per se.  But it does keep me from trying new things and going out on a limb.  This will be year 3 of job seeking for this momma.  I scour the school district websites daily, hoping for a chance to get in somewhere.  But then a portion of me is content just being at home for one more year.  I could go back to school or explore a new career path; but that requires initiative and money.  Then all the logistics of child care and such come into play.  I know other people do it (work 9-5 and have their kids in school and day care), but becoming a teacher was my guarantee that I wouldn't have to worry about any of that.  And I am truly content (not happy, which is different) with where I am right now.

Of course, that may change when both kids are at school all day long and all I have to do is sit around, be lazy, watch TV, eat bad foods, and complain about how bored I am. ;)

Whose Butt was That?

I was in Target the other day and I saw one of the most disgusting sights.  I'm going to try really hard not to offend anyone here, but it was bad.  This butt I saw was squeezed into these teeny little shorts, under which there were some pretty obvious panty lines due to some too-small panties.  The belt that this girl so obviously did not need to hold her pants up was only accentuating the muffin top protruding from the top of these low-slung shorts.

You know, everyone shouldn't wear low cut pants.  Sometimes it just makes things that should be held in ... well, not held in.

Anyway, as this body turned and looked in the mirror, checking to see how things looked "back there," I noticed that the thighs and butt had dimples.  The cottage cheese was just ridiculous.  Seriously.  I mean, why didn't anyone tell this woman that she shouldn't wear those shorts?  Why didn't someone tell her to wear jeans?  Or better yet, she should've just stayed home and worked out!

(You're thinking I'm really terrible right now, aren't you?  I know, I should just keep some of these thoughts to myself, but I warned you.)

So, as this woman perused swimsuits and more shorts, I couldn't help but be reminded of the fried apple pies I just ate, or the pasta loaded with cheese I ate for dinner.  I also couldn't help but think that maybe I should put down the frappucino with extra whip, go home and work out too.  I mean, I used to be so motivated?  What in the world happened?

Just as I was thinking these very thoughts, I turned and recognized the girl.

Holy crap!  That girl looks just like me.

Oh ... wait ...

Maybe I should lay off the fried pies and gooey cheese for a while.

(And you thought I was talking about someone else!!  I wouldn't talk about someone else like that!)

My Organic REVELATION

I recently finished reading Alicia Silverstone's The Kind Diet.  An interesting read recommended by newly-vegetarianized friend Donna.  (You can read all about her awesomeness here.)  Tim hated me the entire time I read it.  I suspect because he knew I was reading up on all the grossness of eating meat (which he loves).  Or maybe it was because of all the ugly faces I was making while I read the info the book provided.

Anyhoodle, I've decided, after much contemplation, that the Morris family (at least this portion of it) is going organic.

As organic as possible, that it.

And it will likely be a slow process.  Most of you know I have grown accustomed to shopping with a coupon binder in tow, and I will still do so.  But my couponing will likely be restricted to household products like toilet paper, shampoo and conditioner, and cleaning supplies.

When I say organic, I mean we are hitting the organic portion of eating.  I'm not ready to go all "organic" on the cleaning just yet.

(Don't get my wrong -- there are still plenty of coupons for organic food products; just not as much as for the crappy, processed stuff.)

I won't get into the scientific points Silverstone presents (she is a huge animal activist and tree hugger, which I am most certainly not), but I will say that the book is an interesting read that made me say, "Hmmmmm," more than once as I turned the pages.  As I fear that my daughter will start her period in the next few weeks if we don't stop eating antibioticized, hormone-fed chicken, I am going to start buying organic chicken first and foremost.  I'd love to get all the dairy out of our house (Silverstone points out that dairy is not meant to be consumed by humans.  I mean mommy cows feed their baby cows their milk to grow them into 400 lb. cows after all.)  However, this girl loves some cheese.

And Greek yogurt.

And while we (Tim and I) don't drink a lot of milk, my kids do.  So we may have to transition slowly.  Organic milk (which is ridiculously expensive compared to the regular stuff, by the way!) is the way to go for now.

The biggest nasty food I'd love to get out of my life (and especially my kids' lives) is sugar.  I'm talking about the bad kind -- the -ose ones.  I never noticed much that sugar affects Kendall's behavior, but it most definitely affects Tanner's.  Of course, he is a big ball of sugar.  (He gets those cravings from his momma.) It may take a while, but I'd like to find other ways to satiate his hunger for sweets.  We'll see how that goes!

The biggest step (and I've taken it alone, for now) is giving up meat.  I have absolutely no moral reason for doing this.  Silverstone just says that  I will feel better if I don't eat it because my body isn't meant to process meat  So I'm going to try it.  I will say this -- I had a bean burrito at Las Palmas the other night and I didn't feel completely deprived.  And last night we went to dinner and I ordered a tomato, basil, and provolone panini.  It was delish.  Maybe this transition won't be so hard for me.

Getting Tim to jump on board will be hard.  And Tanner, being the chicken nugget aficionado that he is, will fight it tooth-and-nail, I'm certain.

But I'm not here to force anyone to do anything differently.

I just want to feel better.  And live longer and happier.

And I don't want my 7-year-old to have boobs.

Where Can I Get One of Those Hats??

I'm not sure what I expected ... waking up this morning.  I am officially 33 years old today.  Honestly, I don't feel any older.  I checked for new wrinkles and new greys in the mirror -- no evidence of me getting any older overnight.

That's good.

The morning was just like usual.  Arguing with the girl child about how to fix her hair and what shoes she should wear.  Arguing with the boy child about how many stuffed animals he could bring in the car to take Sissy to school.

Nothing new there.

Of course, before all of that I was greeted with several expressions of love from my wonderful hubby.  I found "Happy Birthday" and "I Love You" all over the place -- the envelope for the tag office, the mailbox board where I make my to-do list.  He's so sweet -- he knew exactly where'd I'd look first thing this morning.  As you can see from my to-do list, it's just another day at the office for me.

On that note -- why do birthdays have to be so boring and regular for us adults?  I mean, do you remember when you used to get to wear those fun "It's My Birthday" hats at school?  When your friends decorated your locker?  Or when you wore pins that said, "Kiss Me, It's My Birthday"?  I miss those days.  Last year, I didn't want a big deal made about my birthday.  Honestly, I haven't made a big deal about anything since my 30th.  But why do we not make a big deal?  Seriously, another 365 days under our belts.  And look at all that we accomplish in one year?

Of course, I can't really remember much from this year because it flew by so quickly (or maybe it's because I'm not very good at remembering things ... we've discussed that before, right?).  But I do know that I proofread a lot of crap.  And I potty trained a 3 year old.  And almost got the same stubborn kid to stop sucking his thumb.  I've managed our home.  I've cooked hundreds of dinners.  I've attended many kid-type birthday parties.  I've tolerated some pretty annoying behaviors from several adults at those parties. ;)  I've taken care of myself -- trying to keep up my annoyingly youthful good looks (thanks to a lot of hair dye).  I ran my second Peachtree Road Race.  I celebrated 10 years of marriage to my Timmy.  Hmmmmmm ... what else ...

Anyway, for all of these things, I honestly believe I should get an all out Chuck E Cheese party.

Or something like that.

Without the the big mouse puppet.

And with alcoholic beverages. :D

Oh, and what did we do without Facebook for so many years??  I have felt more love today on my birthday than I ever could've imagined.  Thanks to Facebook --- and of course, to those who posted the birthday wishes on my Wall.

A special shout out goes to my daughter who reminded me this morning, "Mommy, even if you feel old, you're still perfect."  She melts my heart.

Another shout out to Heather Dahlby who sent me an awesome birthday card in the MAIL.  (Yes, believe it or not, I'm one of those people who still enjoys paper cards in the mail.)  She reminds me (quite often) how lucky I am to have such awesome friends.

And the last shout out to my mom for taking me to lunch.  My dad used to take me to breakfast every year on my birthday -- it's funny how I remember that.  We used to go to Le Peep on the Square and have French toast.  It was nice to sit at a table with my mom and just be us -- Mom and daughter.  :)

Now I'm off to make myself one of those hats ...

Nothing Tastes as Good as Skinny Feels

A quote taken from my girlfriend (for life!!), Viv.  I'm not sure where she got the quote from, but it inspired me to write this post.  It appears that I'm running low on material right now, what with the kids returning to school and me not having much going on.  I don't want to bore you with the slightly annoying whining that appears to have taken over my posts as of late.  I've started several entries only to abort after rereading.  I was beginning to see a pattern ...

Kid complains or makes mess.  Mom gets irritated.  Mom yells.  Kid cries.  Mom feels guilty and apologizes to kid.  Then mom posts about it in order to get some affirmation from fellow moms and friends about how awesome she is and why it's OK to yell at the kids sometimes.

See, sounds strangely familiar, right?

Then, yesterday, when I was attempting to enter information in a pre-made spreadsheet from an employer (which, BTW, absolutely does not work for me ... the spreadsheet, I mean), I chatted with my other girlfriend (for like!!), Carly.

I know, right?  Who knew I had so many friends??

Carly has her own blog.  She is witty and charming.  Absolutely hilarious.  She writes about other things -- like living a life of leisure and her workouts and diets.

So this entry is going to be about my current weight loss struggle.

What???  You mean this isn't new material??  Are you sure?  I'm pretty sure I've never written about this before ...

Anyway, regardless, I know several people are in the same boat I'm in right now (mostly because we all complain about it on Facebook).  For whatever reason (too much cake, too many beers, not enough movement), I've put on a couple (or 15) pounds.  Honestly, I know exactly how it happened.  And while some of you may say, "Whatever, Keisha, you look great," you (I say it again) haven't seen me naked.

And you won't.  Stop getting your hopes up. :0P

Actually, I'm not so worried about the nakedness.  Good grief, Tim (who is the only one who does see me in the buff) saw me in all my "glory" when I was 200 pounds; I'm sure he's OK with the way I look.

It all goes back to the jeans.

Not the genes ... the jeans.  The expensive ones.  The ones that I can buc(inhale an suck in)kle, but not sit in.  I would like to be able to sit in said jeans again.  And not have to wait for the blood to rush back to my legs when I stand up after sitting for a little while.

Chuckle, if you must.  But some of you know exactly what I'm talking about.

So I decided to start working out again -- Tony Horton now holds a special place in my day.  Picking back up with the P90X workout is just like riding a bike (or whatever you can compare to that).  It makes me ill that I used to be able to do all the exercises in Ab Ripper X and now I can only do half (on a good day).  But I'll get there again.  I also decided to really start paying attention to the food I put in my mouth.  I'm back on my Weight Watchers kick, which is probably becoming annoying to some people.  I'm a bit obsessed.  I don't go so far as to weigh my food, but I calculate points on everything.  I'm having to re-acclimate myself to eating fruits and veggies again; I have even acquired a taste for bananas!  (Those close to me know how much I used to loathe bananas -- I had to eat baby food bananas when I was preggers to keep my blood pressure in check.)  I eat Egg Beaters.  And whole wheat pasta.  And fish.  An drink so much water my bladder could probably swim away if not attached.  All of this leads me to the title of this post.

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Several of the girls who are also doing the WW thing are complaining about being hungry and unsatisfied.  Luckily, with the new WW Points Plus plan, they encourage the occasional splurge.  (I'm going to get a little technical here -- bear with me.)  I get 29 points a day.  I also get 49 extra points for the week.  That's a lot of points, people.  I know, WW says that, if you are trying to lose, you should stay away from those extra points, but I also think that if you deprive yourself, you won't stick to it.

So ... to an extent, I agree that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Except red wine and chocolate.

So if I could find a high protein, high fiber, low fat, low carb red wine and chocolate, I'd be all set.

So let me know if you find one.

And remind me to write it on one of my lists so I don't forget. ;0)

I Could Use Some Grey Matter ...

When you are pregnant, your brain shrinks.  Don't laugh -- "pregnant brain" is non laughing matter at all.  It's been scientifically proven that a pregnant woman's brain "shrinks" due to the fact that the growing fetus feeds on the fat in the grey matter.

Anyway, it is an ongoing joke amongst pregnant women that the forgetfulness during pregnancy (and during the short time period after the tiny human is born) is the baby's fault (not the fault of the lack of sleep or raging hormones).

Anyway, it has been decided (by me, specifically) that my brain, in fact, never regained it's previous size.  I don't believe I ever had a humongous brain -- I imagine it was probably average size.  I do not have a vast amount of knowledge or genius in this head (well, certainly not now, nor did I prior to being pregnant), but before children I considered myself to be fairly intellectual.  I could hang with the best of them on Jeopardy.  I could read about history and art and literature and retain most of the information I read.  I could carry on two- and three- way conversations.  I could make valid arguments and back up my decisions.  I could chew gum and walk at the same time.  You get my drift.

But times .... well, they have changed.  I do not feel educated or intellectual in the slightest any longer.  If you want to talk about potty training or breaking habits like thumb-sucking, I'm your woman.  But politics?  history?  Forget about it.

And not just have I lost my ability to carry on theoretical and religious conversations (for example), but I have also lost the ability to remember.

I cannot remember anything.  I have lists everywhere.  Most people think this is my way of retaining control over my household.  In actuality, the lists and calendars are my way of not forgetting.

Don't get my wrong.  We are a little family of four.  Our children are small.  It's not like we have erupting social lives or anything like that.  But I can't even remember what kinds of things I have in the freezer to make for dinner.  I can't remember to workout.  (OK, that's a stretch.)  I forget when the cat needs her meds or the dog needs food.  I can have a conversation with Tim in the morning and forget that he's working late by 3 PM.

It's really quite sad.

Where was I going with this???

(See, I told you ... it's bad ...)

Oh, yes, I remember.

Forgetfulness.

It has ruined my life.

Last week, my shrinking brain caused another episode of havoc in our house from which we are still reeling.  After the crazy week of being snowed in, I was so relieved when Tim came home and said we were going out to eat Friday night.  This momma couldn't wait to get out of the house!  So I got dressed and put on my wedding rings.  (Side note : Most of you know I rarely wear my rings because they make my fingers break out.)  This was a "special occasion" so I put on my rings.

When we returned home after dinner, I put Tanner in the bathtub.  Many of you also know that when water gets under my rings, my skin reacts badly; so I popped my rings in my pocket.  I proceeded on with my evening as usual.  Baths, PJs, recliner, bed.  At some point, I changed into my PJ pants and put my jeans in the hamper.  I didn't empty my pockets because ... well, honestly, I never empty my pockets.  The next morning, I washed a load of darks and jeans.  When the load was done, my engagement ring was verrrrry clean, but my wedding band was nowhere to be found.

And I have now spent 4 days turning this house upside down looking for that darn ring.  I have vacuumed.  I have emptied said vacuum bags (which is a disgusting act, in itself) to make sure the ring wasn't sucked in.  I have taken furniture apart.  I have gone through every pair of pants, every set of socks, every pair of boxers and panties ... I have even checked all of Sugar's hiding places, thinking maybe she picked it up and carried away because it was pretty and shiny.  (hey, she;s done stranger things.)  Tim has taken the dryer apart to see if it was sucked in there.

It is nowhere.

But it has to be somewhere.

Ugh.

So, pregnant brain has struck again.  Except I'm not pregnant.  And I haven't been for 4 1/2 years.

The only place I haven't checked yet (and I'm not willing to) is the dog's poop.  That is my final option.

Any takers?

Snowpocalypse ... Snowcation ... blah, blah, blah ...

We are looking at Snow Day #5 tomorrow in Cherokee County.

This is serious business, people.  I thought that I was completely prepared for this event.  I went grocery shopping before the snow began, loading up on milk, eggs, and bread.

Oh, and peanut butter.  Because this house can't function without peanut butter.

What I should've been looking for on the store shelves was something completely different.

"Excuse me, sir, but where can I find sanity?  What about patience?"

That's right, people.  This momma has LOST IT!!

I know, I know -- But, Keisha (you say), you are a stay at home mom.  Aren't you used to being at home with your kids?  Don't you have multiple backup plans for art projects and fun things to do so that your children can nurture their creative minds?  I mean, you, especially, (you say) should have lots of fun ideas.  You were a teacher, after all.

What -- ever.

We are completely bored out of our minds.

At least I am.

Then why (you ask) are you just now getting around to blogging?  I mean, if you've had all this free time, you should've been uploading pictures and blogging away about your Christmas vacation (which also involved snow) and the fun times you guys have had.

True, I should've had time to do all that blogging.

Instead I have been spending the last two days (because the first 2 weren't that bad) breaking up fights and attempting to provide entertainment.

OK, let me be honest , today I've done nothing but sit in the recliner and catch up on Days.  But I truly, honestly, needed that.  I sent the kids upstairs with the instructions, "Don't break anything or play in the cat box."  That's all the direction I gave them.  And they were fine.

For 30 minutes.

Then I was interrupted with, "Mom ... mom ... mom ..."

What is this constant need to say my name?  Seriously, they can be standing right next to me with my eyes glued to theirs and they still have to call my name before telling me something.

Just say in, darn it.

Anyway, as I'm watching Days and Facebooking (yes, it's a verb now), I feel so bad.  All these other moms are so excited that their kids will be home another day.  All I keep reading is how awesome it is that they get to sleep in and have all this family time.

How much family time do you people need?  Tim was home with us until yesterday, and we are familied out.  I can sense that the kids are getting just as tired of me as they are of each other -- all they want to do is go play outside.  The ice has cleared from the road, but it is still so cold outside.  They have played with every toy in our house.  We have played board games.  We have done puzzles.  We have organized drawers.  We have watched movies.  We have made cookies.  Heck, they even worked out with me yesterday.

I just want to get back to normal.  I want to go to the grocery store.  I want to get up early and rush around and almost be late for school.  I want to sit in the carpool lines.  I want the snow to go away.

And never come back.

However, so as not to appear as an insensitive, unloving, negative-Ninny, here are some pictures from our fun in the snow earlier this week.

Kendall, Andee, and Tim

Gabby, Max, and Tanner

My precious family, walking home after the neighborhood fun

All kidding aside, I'm really glad my kids were able to experience this kind of snow.  We've had a lot of fun sledding and making snow balls ... but I think we're all really ready for it to be over.  I can handle the cold for a little while longer -- I did get new boots for Christmas, after all -- but we are not prepared for this kind of weather.  Apparently, neither is our state.  And the being locked inside is what's really hurting us.  I'd be willing to pay $20 a head to get into the Bounce House right now if I could just get there!  I have resorted to letting the kids play dress up in the grown-up clothes in my bedroom just for entertainment.  The trash is taking over my house (because the trash can't run in the snow, I guess) and the kids have also begun trying to squeeze into the doll clothes for lack of better things to do.  I even caught Tanner in a pull up yesterday!

But, silver lining!, there haven't been any physical attacks on either kid or me (yet -- we still have one more day) and there hasn't been any thumb sucking.  However, I picked a heck of a time to give up alcohol during the week!

I'm an Addict

Because my dad was an addict (alcohol and drugs), my parents used to sit down with me pretty regularly and remind me that I have an addictive personality.  I shouldn't drink too much or try drugs because it's in my genes to get hooked.  Daddy was an addict, and I still  live in fear that I may also become addicted to alcohol.


So it's not a surprise now that I am an addict.


However, at least I've chosen something worth while to be addicted to.


"Children regularly give parents the kind of highs that only narcotics can rival."  


This quote is from an article I recently read when it popped up on the msn homepage.  As I was reading it, I found myself shaking my head and nodding, and I even went so far as to throw in a few un-hunh's and Amen's.  This is because I can 100% admit I am addicted to my kids.


I'm addicted to everything about them.  I live for the nights they spend away from home, and then I spend the hours missing them.  I plan everything we do as a family around how I think they will react -- heck, last Christmas I talked Nana into buying us tickets to the Disney Rockin' Road Show because I just knew the kids would love it.  (Never mind that Tim loathes things like that ... it wasn't about him, after all.  And don't let him tell you he didn't love every second of it!)  I plan these fun outings where I take my kids to new and exciting places just to get a glimpse of the joy on their faces.  (And then I'm devastated when they don't love it as much as I thought they would.)  I pick out their Christmas presents, all the while wondering how they will react when they open them.  I tell them about funny things or exciting happenings in my world with the hopes that this information will being a smile to their sweet little faces.  And when their worlds aren't perfect, there is no way mine can be.


So, yes, I'm an addict.


I am 100 % addicted to everything related to Kendall and Tanner.


And according to this article, I'm not the only one. Most parents are addicted to their children -- or at least to parenting.  

I remember when I first had Kendall -- Tim and I had an argument about how I had morphed into this strange being -- I had transformed form being "Keisha" and "Tim's wife" to being "Kendall's mom."  This is a huge difference -- and some of my sisters probably remember the first time I went out after having Kendall.  I sat in Amy's living room and talked about how much I missed Kendall and how I felt like a part of my heart was missing every time I was away from her.  Many of them probably thought I was NUTS then, crying about how my heart was living outside my body -- but some of them have kids now and they totally get it!


These feelings are still true today -- I've just learned to manage them, just as a junkie learns to manage his addiction.  I can be away from Kendall for small amounts of time, but then I'm so happy when she returns.  And Tanner is a completely different story.  He is  my baby -- I literally ache for his hugs.  (Some of you mommies-of-boys are nodding right now, aren't you?)  There's something special about boys and their mommies.  Anyway, I know this drives Tim crazy, but there's absolutely nothing I can do about it.  I am addicted to my children's smiles and laughter -- I would certainly die without it.  It does interfere with my daily functions.  I will miss them desperately when I have to go back to work -- but it will be easier when I know they are at school and wouldn't be with me anyway.  (Side note : When I subbed at Tanner's school a few weeks go, I missed him more when we were in the same building.  I'm telling you -- it's craziness!)

Like addicts, parents will sacrifice anything for the glimpses of heaven that their offspring periodically provide.  While the smiles may be few and far between (especially when it comes to 6-year-old girls), I still live for them.  And when I get them, all is right with the world.


So spare a moment of compassion for the next junkie you see. And spare a smile for the next parent you run into. Junkies we are—and proud of it.

Career Opportunities

I've recently been exploring my options for next school year.  There is always the slim possibility that the principals in this town will WAKE UP and realize they are missing a fundamental member for their teams (uh-hum, that would be ME), but on the off chance that this does not happen, I am preparing myself.

I know after these past few weeks that I cannot be a stay at home mom if I'm not actually mommying.  I know ... I'm awful.  Many of my mom friends revel in the joys of motherhood, perfectly content to volunteer at the school or do other mommy-type things while their children are at school.  Sorry, but it's just not in me.  I thought I could do it.  And while I have loved being able to do all these things with Kendall and Tanner this year, I'm just not sure I can handle the off-days on my own.  The freelance work has kept me pretty busy, and there's always work to do around this house, but I just don't think I can keep my days filled with it.  I know many SAHM's take the time while their kids are at school to take care of themselves, as well.  Lunch dates with friends, hair appointments and doctor's appointments.  It is prime time to do many of the things that become nearly impossible once you have small children.  But I feel incredibly guilty when I spend money if I'm on my own and there's no true reason for it.  I feel guilty about spending money Tim is working so hard to provide when I'm not contributing to the family purse.

So, with that in mind, added to the fact that I'm pretty sure I've forgotten how to interact with adults in a work situation, I've been making a mental list of possible careers for next year.  Some are more serious than others; but all are viable options.

1)  Day-to-day substitute -- I was going to get on the sub list for Cherokee County this year, but I was planning to have Big B all year, so we planned around it.  We enrolled Tanner in 9-1 school and I never had my fingerprints done to get on the list.  Now, here we are with no Big B (and no real income), a 4 year-old in private preschool, and crazy hours that keep me unable to get a "real" job (because being a Mommy isn't a REAL job, right?).  So next year, I have the option of going through the motions again, filling out the application (which, mind you, is the same application as the teaching application), getting my fingerprints done, and waiting.  We all know how subbing isn't guaranteed, but I do know enough people that work in Cherokee County schools to keep myself busy if they need me.  Subbing has its perks -- no lesson plans, no grading, great hours.

2) Homeschooling -- I know, it sounds crazy.  And, at first, I thought, "No freakin' way."  I certainly am not interested in homeschooling my own.  They are thriving at school away from me. But I was having a discussion with a friend of mine at dinner a few weeks back about the possibility of homeschooling other people's children in my home.  Think about it -- there are tons of people out there who would love to homeschool but don't have the know-how or have other jobs and can't do it.  If I offered my services, they could pay me to homeschool their kids.  Some people would likely pay boo-coo's of money to have their kids homeschooled.  If I had a small class of 3-5 kids, each paying $100 a week (or whatever), that would be perfect!  Top it off with the parents purchasing all the books needed, and it's a viable option.

3) Teaching at Child's Play -- I had a chance to substitute at Tanner's school last Thursday and Friday and it was so much fun.  I was in a small 4-5 year old class, and we played and colored and traced letters.  We read stories and looked for acorns on the playground.  I was there at 8:40 and out by 1:30.  Sounds prime for me.  And it pays just enough to help out with the bills.  I'm going to make sure the director knows I'm interested with a capital I about working for her next year.

4) Writer -- This one is constantly floating around in the back of my head.  You guys (the people who read my blog) are always telling me how I should write a book with all these crazy stories.  And I probably could write a book if I knew I had someone to publish it.  But I have no idea how to go about doing such a thing.  I have been looking at some more writing opportunities through the Freelancer site, but they just don't pay for how much time I'd have to put into it right now.  When the kids are both at school next year, maybe; but not right now.  But if you hear of any opportunities, let me know.

5) Boosterthon Cheerleader -- This is probably the most far-fetched, but it's my favorite option.  Last month, Kendall had the Boosterthon at her school.  Most of you have heard about it, or seen pictures, and I have to tell you, this is right up my alley.  Of course, I have no idea how it really works.  All I know is that this group travels around to the schools and puts on these big pep rallies for the kids to kick off their Fun Run fundraiser.  I thought it looked fun in kindergarten, but this year I actually asked one of the guys about it.  When Tornado Taylor (yes, they all have fun names like that ... ) came up to say hi and thank us for taking part in the fun run, I asked, "Why aren't there any girls on your team?"  You see, the Fun Run cheerleaders are all boys.  Young-ish, thin, bouncy boys.  He told me that there are, in fact, girls on the team, but they just weren't part of HSES's team. Then I asked how I could do it.  I figured he would look at me like, "Who is this old lady asking to take my job?" But he was very nice about it and said all I have to do is apply online.  It seriously looks like tons of fun.  And I cheered for so long ... I think I could hang if I lost a little weight.  And the real kicker ?  They have cool shoes.  Cool, one-of-a-kind shoes and a nickname?  Sounds perfect. :)

So there are a few of my options.  We'll see how it all pans out next year.  But I need to start planning for something.  This $.10 per 100 words proofreading isn't paying at all ...

Worn In, Worn Down, and Worn Out

Completely worn out.

The only way I know to describe how I feel right now.

Blessed ... but completely worn out.

Fall is a trying time for the SAHM species.  School is in session, and fall festivities are taking over all aspects of life.  This is especially true in the Morris house.  It seems that, since I stopped watching Brady, my weeks have been jam packed!  I've had pretty steady freelance work coming in every week, and that takes up a chunk of my mornings while Tanner is at school.  Wednesday is still my full-time-Mommy day, with my mornings at Kendall's school making copies and having lunch, and my afternoons reading to Tanner's class.  But the last two weeks I've been at one or the other EVERY DAY, taking care of Halloween festivities or fundraiser stuff.  It's been crazy!  And I'm pretty sure there have been a few instances when Tim was thinking, "What in the world has happened to this house?"  It's like a bomb went off, and there are now small mini-versions of our dog popping up under all the furniture.  (Picture white fur flying when the doors open ...)

This week has finally calmed down a bit with Halloween being over.  We had our first fun year trick or treating with a little cheerleader and a very scary Venom (with the cutest little tush ever).  I'll be honest and say that it brought a little tear to my eye to see my daughter carrying a set of pom-poms, even if they weren't "real."  I have wanted her to get into cheerleading, but she still wants to continue with dance.  I'm hoping that with the choice of the cheer uniform over the other obvious options (princess, movie star, etc.) will come a request to sign up for cheerleading next season.  She looked like a little pro with her uniform, pigtails, and pom-poms. :)

Now, here I am, unable to keep my hands out of the Halloween buckets, thinking I desperately need to start working out again.  Tim and I were going to start a "diet" again this week, but then the chocolate and laffy taffy moved in, and I noticed that the yummy fall seasonal-flavored beer is back in the stores ... so I'm thinking, "What's the point?"

And just as I start to think I'm just going to settle into my fat little chocolate coma accompanied by a fire built by my hubby, and hibernate through the rest of the season, I get Tanner's calendar for school for the month of November.  Let me preface this by saying that November is pretty full already, and it's only the 3rd!  And I had already arranged to go on Kendall's fall field trip to Cagle's Dairy on the 16th.  Then I got Tanner's schedule, and his Thanksgiving Feast and program are the same day.

Seriously?!

I thought I had at least a few years before school functions started overlapping!

So here I am now, trying to get a refund for my portion of the tickets to Cagle's.  I still really want to go with her, but this is a one-time thing with Tanner.  And it's his first real "school" program.  I think Kendall has a field trip in the spring, and I should be able to go to that one.  I guess I'm just thinking that I may not be able to attend anything for Tanner in "real "school (if I get a J-O-B next year), so I should be there for as much as I can this year.

But darn it if that Mommy guilt didn't creep back in ...

Take Me Back

I just finished reading some posts by a fellow blogger.  What was posted really took me back.  The author was talking about the excitement of pregnancy and the anticipation of what was to come.  This couple is growing their first baby ... and it's funny how, in retrospect, everything takes on a new meaning.  I remember being pregnant and everyone older and wiser telling me that being so tired was my body's way of preparing me for the future; I had no idea how long I would be without sleep.  I remember reading countless books about what was happening inside my body and how to make a schedule and how to get the baby to sleep and how to prepare for birth and how to prepare for nursing ... ugh, countless, ENDLESS books.  But I read them all with relish, as if I couldn't take in enough information to prepare myself for becoming a mother.

What I also remember is how my pregnancy didn't go as planned.  At all.  I found myself on bed rest 9 weeks before Kendall's due date ... wishing I could get off the couch just to do a load of laundry.  Ha!  What I'd give for some bed rest now. :)  And then I remember heading to the hospital, all full of hopes and dreams of a natural birth after watching Birth Day on the Discovery Channel for 4 weeks.  I was ready to hit that birthing ball hard and go for walks and practice deep breathing ... and I did all those things, to no avail, and ended up with a C-section.  Then I recall crying and sobbing through the hours of attempting to nurse ... trying to keep the baby awake, trying to get her to latch, trying to get her  to drink enough to "bring" my milk in ... and then finally giving up because it was just too much.  And I remember feeling like a failure -- like my body had failed me.  Isn't this what women's bodies are for?  To grow babies and feed them?

Of course, I didn't remember much of this until I read what someone else wrote about their experiences of becoming first time parents.

But what I remember more than anything is what it felt like to hold Kendall in my arms for the first time.  What it felt like to look into those little eyes just below that precious little pink hat.  To see the love in Tim's eyes as he gazed at his baby girl.  How awesome and surreal it was to finally have her little finger wrapped around mine.

Even now it's like looking at a piece of my heart walking around outside my body.

Then I realize -- well, every time I look at her (and Tanner, for that matter) in all of her amazement -- THIS is what I was made for.  She is my reason for being.  And she is truly one of the best things I have ever done.

And I can't wait for my fellow blogger to experience this for the first time!

When Can We Go Back??

I've been trying to find some time to post about our family vacation last week ... and this is the first moment I've had.  I want to make sure I have ample time and energy to devote to the topic, seeing as how it was our first "real" vacation as a family.  I mean by "real vacation" that we had two adults and two kids who do not require naps (yay!!) and a nana.  And we were at the beach.  And we had this absolutely fabulous day at Disney planned.  Tim and I were excited beyond belief about sharing this experience with the kids, and we couldn't wait to get to Florida.  So we woke the kids last Satuday morning, ate some breakfast, and loaded up.  Poor Nana was squeezed in the back between two boosters (which beats two car seats), we were loaded up with movies (but no batteries for the headsets, which made for a cranky Daddy), but we were headed for fun.

And we were going to enjoy it, dammit.

The kids were AMAZING on the drive down.  No joke, they never complained about needing to pee (which I was worried about, seeing as this was our first trip without diapers) or being hungry.  OK, wait, there were complaints around 10 about being hungry ... but I think that was me ...

I think Kendall made Tanner (and Nana) watch Enchanted two or three times, but then they colored and played with their electronic gadgets.  Before we knew it, we were there.  And the week went off without a hitch!  Tim and I were able to sleep in (Thank you, Nana!!) every morning.  The kids didn't fight.  I got to eat and drink whatever I wanted.  We played in the pool every day.  It was perfect.



Wednesday was our day to visit the Mouse.  Of course, Tuesday night I was worried everyone (translation: kids) wouldn't sleep due to excitement.  But the kids had to be woken on Wednesday morning in order to head out.  The drive from Cocoa Beach to Orlando is about 1 hour and 10 minutes or so, but we made it in good time.  I was giddy in the car, counting signs on the way there.  Once we were in the parking lot, I think Tanner was just excited about riding the golf-cart tram to the monorail!!  Once off the monorail, we were full-speed ahead, trying to squeeze in as much as we could in our one day at the Magic Kingdom.  I had fun, and everyone else had fun, but I must say, it was NOT what I thought it would be.

Before going, I pictured characters walking through the streets, eager to meet my adoring children.  I pictured Kendall in an embrace with at least one princess ... not picky about which one.  I pictured Tim and myself, watching with big smiles as Tanner talked to Woody and Buzz, telling them how much he loves their movies.  Now, after the fact, I have to admit Disney was nothing like what I expected.

Don't get me wrong: we had fun.  And I'm pretty sure Tim and the kids loved every second (Well, except for the seconds sitting and waiting for the parade, in which old people kept trying to creep in on our space.).  But I was left feeling a little... disappointed.  I never got that embrace I pictured between Kendall and a princess.  Or even a fairy.  If you have a daughter, only you can understand the angst I felt when I left the park.  We didn't see one princess.  How is that possible??  OK, we saw Snow White when we first got there, but she was skipping away.  Then we caught Jasmine and Ariel just as they were closing up shop.  (Side note:  I wasn't aware that there were scheduled times for visiting with the characters.  Moms, you should have shared this with me!!)  And what a crappy job -- to be the one who has to turn the little girls (and their wishful moms) away.  Anyway, the kids were able to meet (and touch) Buzz Lightyear, which left Tanner with feelings of ecstasy, but I was still let down when we never found a princess to hug.

But ... the kids were happy.  They got to ride every ride (except Space Mountain, though they could've ridden it), and Splash Mountain was the favorite.  We ran into our neighbors, which was funny.  The kids got to eat french fries, like, 4 times that day.  They got to stay up late and watch fireworks and a parade.  And they got new toys -- Kendall wanted a parasol ("Its not an umbrella, Mommy.  It's a parasol to block the sun.") and Princess Minnie ears, and Tanner picked a pack of cars that looks like the rides we rode and some spinning cars with Woody, Buz, and Zerg on them ("I don't want any stupid ears, Mommy!  I want something with wheels!").  I'm glad we did it ... but I also do not understand how in the world people do this two or three times a year!

Hmmm ... what else ... Oh!!  Tanner learned how to swim!!  Seriously!!  So I now am the proud momma (and Tim, the proud Daddy) of two swimmers!

Both kids rode the slide at the condo (which is WEAK after riding Splash Mountain).

I have recovered from the nasty stomach issue I was dealing with ... unfortunately, I recovered so well that I gained 5 lbs. on vaca.

I still think my mom is the best ever.  She went out of her way to make sure Tim and I had time to ourselves and to rest while in Florida.  We are blessed.

Tim got to rest; and for the first time, it didn't take him 3 days to get used to doing nothing!  I think he was just so over-worked before we left that he couldn't wait to relax.

And now we're back to the grind.

But vacation was fun.  And we got to see some snakes and spiders.

Even if there weren't any princesses ... ;0)

Routine Maintenance -- for the girls only!

**I am prefacing this post with a disclaimer -- IF YOU ARE A MAN/BOY/FATHER/HUSBAND/BOYFRIEND or otherwise STRAIGHT MALE OF ANY KIND, you probably don't want to continue reading this.**

I did a "check in" at Three-13 this morning for routine maintenance.  OK, actually, nothing about this visit was routine.  Though I must say now, after the fact, it probably should be.  Anyway, I decided a few weeks ago that I was going to have a bikini wax before our beach trip.  The idea of shaving down there always takes me to an unhappy place, and the aftermath is fairly painful.  So I decided I was going to take care of this before out trip so I wouldn't have to worry about aforementioned "aftermath" while we were at the beach or walking around Disney World.  (Yeah, ouch.  If you need more explanation, email me.)

Actually, let's take it back a few months -- I had intentions of getting this done at the beginning of summer.  Think of all the pain I could have saved myself had I had it done then?  But the kids are impatient, our first pool day was upon us, and, well, let's just say I didn't have time to make it to the salon.

So last night I was terribly nervous about this bikini wax thing.  I've never had it done before (Yes, I'm 32 and I've never had a bikini wax.), and several people had told me how painful it can be.  So I was somewhat prepared for the pain.  I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, so I really didn't think it would be that bad.  I mean this tough girl made it to 8 cm with no epidural, right?  So I walk into Three-13 trying to look as if this SAHM belongs there.  The super cute girl, Kat, takes me back to the "Quiet Room," and tells me to disrobe from the waist down and put those on.

What are those, you ask?

Well you may not ask since most of you have probably endured this before.

Those are disposable panties.  Awesome.  While a tad bit uncomfortable, I must say they are more attractive than the disposable ones I had to wear after giving birth in the hospital.

So then Kat comes back in and just starts talking to me like we're old friends.  (It's a distraction technique, I'm sure.)  As she's asking me how long I've been married and how many kids I have, she proceeded to take me to that terrible place from which I thought I'd never return!!

Holy crap!!

Seriously??  People do this on a regular basis?  And don't tell me that you get used to it ... there's no way.

OK, I'll be honest.  With my high tolerance for pain, only about 10 percent of it really hurt.  And I mean HURT.  Like, on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being labor pains, those few seconds were like 8.5.  (Which, on a side note, has made me reconsider the pain I've been in with my stomach for the last few weeks!)  Of course, as Kat ripped the life out of me, I tried to act like it was nothing and I had done this so many times before.  She then asked if I wanted a full Brazilian (Again, if you need an explanation, email me.), at which point I squeaked, "Please don't take anymore."

Stop laughing at me.  It's not nice.

Now that it's done, I'm glad I did it.  And I'm sure I will be much happier with the outcome of this versus the outcome of shaving while I'm at the beach amidst the sand and sunscreen or while I'm sweating and walking around Disney.  Those two are just razor burn waiting to happen.

So there you have it.  For those of you who commented on my "check in" with "Lucky girl," and "You deserve it," I hope you retract your statements now!  LOL  It certainly wasn't fun.

Of course, now I do feel a bit liberated ... maybe this will be a routine thing ... ;0)