Whose Butt was That?

I was in Target the other day and I saw one of the most disgusting sights.  I'm going to try really hard not to offend anyone here, but it was bad.  This butt I saw was squeezed into these teeny little shorts, under which there were some pretty obvious panty lines due to some too-small panties.  The belt that this girl so obviously did not need to hold her pants up was only accentuating the muffin top protruding from the top of these low-slung shorts.

You know, everyone shouldn't wear low cut pants.  Sometimes it just makes things that should be held in ... well, not held in.

Anyway, as this body turned and looked in the mirror, checking to see how things looked "back there," I noticed that the thighs and butt had dimples.  The cottage cheese was just ridiculous.  Seriously.  I mean, why didn't anyone tell this woman that she shouldn't wear those shorts?  Why didn't someone tell her to wear jeans?  Or better yet, she should've just stayed home and worked out!

(You're thinking I'm really terrible right now, aren't you?  I know, I should just keep some of these thoughts to myself, but I warned you.)

So, as this woman perused swimsuits and more shorts, I couldn't help but be reminded of the fried apple pies I just ate, or the pasta loaded with cheese I ate for dinner.  I also couldn't help but think that maybe I should put down the frappucino with extra whip, go home and work out too.  I mean, I used to be so motivated?  What in the world happened?

Just as I was thinking these very thoughts, I turned and recognized the girl.

Holy crap!  That girl looks just like me.

Oh ... wait ...

Maybe I should lay off the fried pies and gooey cheese for a while.

(And you thought I was talking about someone else!!  I wouldn't talk about someone else like that!)