I Could Use Some Grey Matter ...

When you are pregnant, your brain shrinks.  Don't laugh -- "pregnant brain" is non laughing matter at all.  It's been scientifically proven that a pregnant woman's brain "shrinks" due to the fact that the growing fetus feeds on the fat in the grey matter.

Anyway, it is an ongoing joke amongst pregnant women that the forgetfulness during pregnancy (and during the short time period after the tiny human is born) is the baby's fault (not the fault of the lack of sleep or raging hormones).

Anyway, it has been decided (by me, specifically) that my brain, in fact, never regained it's previous size.  I don't believe I ever had a humongous brain -- I imagine it was probably average size.  I do not have a vast amount of knowledge or genius in this head (well, certainly not now, nor did I prior to being pregnant), but before children I considered myself to be fairly intellectual.  I could hang with the best of them on Jeopardy.  I could read about history and art and literature and retain most of the information I read.  I could carry on two- and three- way conversations.  I could make valid arguments and back up my decisions.  I could chew gum and walk at the same time.  You get my drift.

But times .... well, they have changed.  I do not feel educated or intellectual in the slightest any longer.  If you want to talk about potty training or breaking habits like thumb-sucking, I'm your woman.  But politics?  history?  Forget about it.

And not just have I lost my ability to carry on theoretical and religious conversations (for example), but I have also lost the ability to remember.

I cannot remember anything.  I have lists everywhere.  Most people think this is my way of retaining control over my household.  In actuality, the lists and calendars are my way of not forgetting.

Don't get my wrong.  We are a little family of four.  Our children are small.  It's not like we have erupting social lives or anything like that.  But I can't even remember what kinds of things I have in the freezer to make for dinner.  I can't remember to workout.  (OK, that's a stretch.)  I forget when the cat needs her meds or the dog needs food.  I can have a conversation with Tim in the morning and forget that he's working late by 3 PM.

It's really quite sad.

Where was I going with this???

(See, I told you ... it's bad ...)

Oh, yes, I remember.

Forgetfulness.

It has ruined my life.

Last week, my shrinking brain caused another episode of havoc in our house from which we are still reeling.  After the crazy week of being snowed in, I was so relieved when Tim came home and said we were going out to eat Friday night.  This momma couldn't wait to get out of the house!  So I got dressed and put on my wedding rings.  (Side note : Most of you know I rarely wear my rings because they make my fingers break out.)  This was a "special occasion" so I put on my rings.

When we returned home after dinner, I put Tanner in the bathtub.  Many of you also know that when water gets under my rings, my skin reacts badly; so I popped my rings in my pocket.  I proceeded on with my evening as usual.  Baths, PJs, recliner, bed.  At some point, I changed into my PJ pants and put my jeans in the hamper.  I didn't empty my pockets because ... well, honestly, I never empty my pockets.  The next morning, I washed a load of darks and jeans.  When the load was done, my engagement ring was verrrrry clean, but my wedding band was nowhere to be found.

And I have now spent 4 days turning this house upside down looking for that darn ring.  I have vacuumed.  I have emptied said vacuum bags (which is a disgusting act, in itself) to make sure the ring wasn't sucked in.  I have taken furniture apart.  I have gone through every pair of pants, every set of socks, every pair of boxers and panties ... I have even checked all of Sugar's hiding places, thinking maybe she picked it up and carried away because it was pretty and shiny.  (hey, she;s done stranger things.)  Tim has taken the dryer apart to see if it was sucked in there.

It is nowhere.

But it has to be somewhere.

Ugh.

So, pregnant brain has struck again.  Except I'm not pregnant.  And I haven't been for 4 1/2 years.

The only place I haven't checked yet (and I'm not willing to) is the dog's poop.  That is my final option.

Any takers?