Feverish for Fall ... or just feverish?

Was anyone else LOVING the weather this afternoon as much as I was? This is the day I've been waiting for!! (No, I didn't double up on my anti-depressants or drink before blogging.) This was just the most perfect day outside!! We had play group this morning, and the kids had fun checking out the new playhouse. Unfortunately, the moms had to fight off mosquitoes (still talking Tim into the mosquito vacuum!), but we had fun. There was not too much sun, a cool breeze, and low humidity. Fa-Bu-Lous!!

So the kids and I finally got to spend some time outside. I figured out today that this is why we've been wanting to kill each other the last few weeks ... we've been stuck inside!! My kids are truly their father's -- they love the outdoors as much as he does. They are not affected by the heat the way I am, the sun doesn't bother them one bit, and they could play outside all day long if I'd let them. So even after the friends left this AM, we still sat on the porch and played. I got to read the end of the book I've been working on (James Patterson's Lifeguard) and the kids got some outside time. Then after Tanner's nap, we headed outside again. They rode bikes, colored with chalk, blew bubbles -- all my favorite things to do with them. And I was able to remember what it is about my children that truly makes me love them so much.

Kendall is such a "mother." She is so quick to help Tanner if he needs it. She likes to show him how to do new things, and if he doesn't get it right the first time, she's his ultimate cheerleader when he tries again and again. Kendall is also my nature lover. Her favorite thing to do outside is roll in the grass! The two of us could sit outside and just watch butterflies for hours. When we were watching our hummingbirds, she was mesmerized by them! She has decided to name them (I'm not sure how she can tell them apart), and she's determined to catch one and keep it as her pet.

Tanner is my happy little man. I forget often that he is only 2 years old; everything is still so new to him. I took him outside a lot in the spring, but he was still young and really couldn't do much. Not now. When we walked out the front door this afternoon, he saw a spiderweb. The first thing he said was, "Wow!" And he meant it. He squatted down and looked at it; then he switched angles, like he was really studying, trying to figure out how to build one of his own. (I was reminded of Wilbur trying to make a web in Charlotte's Webb.) After planning his web, he walked down the driveway and found some ants devouring a dead worm. Yeah, you're probably thinking what I was thinking -- ewww. But Tanner laid down on his stomach over this worm and watched. It is the stillest I have ever seen him for more than 2 minutes. I was afraid he had fallen asleep until he yelled, "Mommy, look!" I forced myself to indulge him and looked over his shoulder. "Mommy, what they doin'?" I just cracked up. I told him that the ants were eating dinner, and he licked his finger and picked up the worm!!! I had to stop him before he stuck it in his mouth!! (This is what boys do, I must remind myself!!!) I took this as a sign that I needed to get ready for dinner!

So today, though I am still exhausted from dealing with our sleep issues, I enjoyed both of my kids, and I think they enjoyed me. It was a welcome break from the sassing, time-outing, and fighting. Hopefully, this is a preview of things to come. While standing outside watching them play, I could not believe that my children are growing up so much. Kendall is 4, and Tanner is 2. Pretty soon they will be going off to elementary school, making friends, doing homework, figuring out who they want to be -- it's so exciting, yet scary.

And, yes, it's sad. So many of my friends are having babies right now. And, yes, it's true, I feel the itch every once in a while to have another one (but don't hold your breath). I remember holding both of my babies for the first time. I remember their first birthdays. I remember rocking them to sleep. I remember the first time they called me Mommy or said, "I love you." It makes me sad to think that those times are gone. I know they still love me and need me; they always will, just like I still need my mom. But pretty soon it won't be "cool" to need me; they'll have to like me in private. It's just hard to believe that 4 years have flown by in a blink.

So, OK, I've changed topics a few time here ... I guess my one glass of wine did go to my head! What I was trying to say is that I am looking forward to some cooler months with cooler heads and cooler attitudes in our house!! So perhaps when all the inner turmoil calms, the sleep issues will be resolved. And Tim and I will be able to find each other again!

But we WON'T be making anymore babies!! ;)