Bugs

I'm not sure what I've done to deserve the punishment that has been bestowed on my house. Kendall and I have been sickly for 2 days now, and Tim is beginning to feel a little gross. Just when I think that I've got everything under control, a bombshell falls.

After an absolutely perfect weekend with sunshine and family time, Kendall woke up at midnight Monday, complaining of stomach cramps. I couldn't get her to the bathroom fast enough, and we spent the entire night then sleeping on the floor in my bathroom. I've never felt so helpless. Of course, the whole time Kendall was talking to me.

"Mommy, when you were little did you throw up?"
"Why am I throwing up?"
"When you threw up, did it feel strange?"

I just kept rubbing her back and holding her hair until there was nothing left. Then we made a pallet on the floor and she snoozed while I tried, though every time she made a sound I was afraid I needed to rush her to the toilet. Naturally, Tanner woke us the following morning at 7, and we just sort of vegged all day yesterday. Kendall slept, in and out of consciousness, most of the day. Between naps I'd force her to drink some water or Gatorade, and she even ate a little applesauce before bed. Then, shortly after the kids retired, I found myself curled up in the fetal position on the couch, shivering. Luckily, I didn't have any of the stomach issues ... but I had a mad fever at bedtime.

This moring I kept Kendall home for one more day -- she's still pretty weak from not eating. And I am achy from head to toenails. Why do we hold fevers in our lower backs, anyway?? The only position that is comfortable is the fetal position. And while I was trying to make the pain go away earlier, Tannerbug managed to slip out of my sight for a few minutes.

My eyes were closed for a maximum of 5 minutes. I'm sure of this because we were watching the last segment of Chuggington (most moms know that these kids' shows work in segments, usually about 10 minutes each or so). When my eyes closed, Kendall was on the computer, Tanner was sitting in the recliner, and the 3rd segment had started. While my eyes were closed, Tanner exclaimed, "Mom, I'm goin' to get my Lightning McQueen." Then I opened my eyes and realized he wasn't there. But Chuggington was still on. So it couldn't have been that long, could it?

Anyhoodle, I asked Kendall to go check on Bugs so as not to have to move out of the fetal position. She came back and said, "Ummm, Mom, you may want to see what he did."

Most of you know that Tanner does something ridiculous about once a week. Cutting sheets, glue stick on the walls, perfume on the carpet was the most recent.

But none of those compare to what I encountered when I walked in Tanner's room.

I could smell the baby powder before I even made it out of the kitchen. Upon entering the hallway, I had to take in a lungful of clean air so I wouldn't choke. On the way down the hallway, I could see multiple foot prints in the inches of baby powder that had floated out of Tanner's room.

Speechless. This is the only word to describe how I felt when I saw Tanner sitting in the middle of his bed, coated in diaper cream, buried in feet of baby powder.

And the baby powder was everywhere. On the ceiling, on the walls, between the bed and the wall, on the blinds, inside the drawers, in Brady's pack-n-play.

EVERYWHERE.

And the zinc oxide diaper cream was smeared into the center of Tanner's navy blue comforter. What wasn't extracted from the two tubes of cream onto the bed was smeared into his hair or his clothing.

Seriously?! That's all I could even say. (Of course, then I had to run and get my phone to take pictures before I started cleaning it up. Of course.) Then as I put Bugs in the tub, clothing and all, I called my mom, who is also sick at home today, to come help me clean it up.

I didn't even know where to start. Dust? The vacuum? Open windows and throw everything out? Send Tanner to live with someone else?

So now, looking at the pictures, I'm sure I'll laugh about this later. But for now the ache in my lower back has returned and I have a baby powder headache, but I'm fearful of closing my eyes again. So I am going to attempt to sleep with one eye open. And after my nap I will begin reading the parenting book my BFF sent me.

I guess I need it. I'm sure you've noticed there is no evidence of any sort of punishment here in my recollection of today's event. I still don't know how to punish him for it. I'm open to suggestions.

And on a side note -- The proper way to remove zinc oxide diaper cream from fabric is as follows: First soak the garment in hot water and detergent, rubbing the spot to remove the excess cream. Then soak the garment in white vinegar for 15 minutes to remove the zinc oxide. Of course, this was a little difficult with a full size comforter, but there's some info for the future.