Looks Can Be Deceiving ...

I know a bankruptcy stays on your credit record for 7 years -- and I know it's only been a few months since ours was "official" -- but it feels like we just can't get away from it.  Most of you have heard the horror stories of the vendors who were stalking us after the disintegration of Tim's company, but this mess with one of our neighbors is really getting out of hand now.

Yesterday when Tim got home from work, he sat with Tanner for a while, playing and talking.  Then the phone (the work phone) started ringing, and all Hell broke lose.

Of course, I have to give Tim credit -- I never would've known all this was going on if I hadn't asked.  he was so calm and cool about it, which tells me he's proabbly been dealing with it for a while.

Anyway, after about an hour of him talking on the phone "in private," which amounts to whispering on the phone in the bathroom because it's the only way to get away from the kiddos, I went in to figure out what was going on.  I knew he'd been on both cells and the house phone, so there must be something juicy taking place.

So he gave me the low down in a very low-key way.

There is this ex-vendor, we'll call him Asshole Mike.  Apparently Sequoia Builders Development, Inc. owes him about $4000.00 from a previous job. Like a few other vendors, Mike has taken a particular joy in bringing suffering to our family.  For the past few months, he has been calling our home at all hours.  The calls here can be ignored (we didn't answer the phone for 6 months ... we can keep doing the same), but he has recently begun calling Tim's employer.  He calls with all sorts of allegation of theft and lying.  Obviously, Tim's "boss" can't keep taking these calls and just ignoring them.  So yesterday one of the head honchos called and basically told Tim he needed to get this under control.

Any ideas how to do that?

I guess Mike just feels like the $4000.00 SBD owes him (mind you, it's SBD that owes him, not Tim or me) is worth ruining our life.  If any theft or lying on Tim's part could be proven, he would have to be let go.  Of course, that won't happen because Tim is trustworthy and honest.  He is a hard worker, and without him, his employer would be up a creek without a paddle.  And to bring the story full circle, upon talking to Mike, he mentioned to Tim's "boss" that he had spoken to Matt (our neighbor), and Matt told him of all kinds of ways that we are "flaunting our money."

OK, HERE I DRAW THE LINE.

I have had this discussion with several of my close friends, and now I'm just gonna put it out there for all of you.

I imagine that on the outside, the Morris world looks pretty peachy.  We live in this big house that is always pretty well taken care of.  Mr. Morris has a job, and Mrs. Morris just gets to stay at home with kids.  The Morris kids always look well put together with cute clothes and shoes.  Mrs. Morris has new highlights and a new car.  Mr. Morris drives a company truck to work and still has another very nice truck parked in the garage alongside a Harley Davidon.  The Morris family still has the money to take their kids to fun things like Toddler Trike at Sparkles and the Disney Rockin' Road Show.

That is what you all see, right?  From your standpoint, I imagine it does look like a pretty awesome life.

Now from where I stand, things are a little different.  We do live in a big house that is well taken care of, but it has a hefty mortgage payment every month.  Tim works unGodly hours to pay that hefty mortgage, and when he's home, he's busy taking care of the upkeep -- not just of our house, but of my mom's house and the empty house still for sale in our neighborhood that doesn't even belong to "us" anymore.  And in the spring and summer, that includes yard work.  I don't just get to "stay home" with the kids.  I wanted to go back to work this year, but there were no teaching jobs.  So, instead, I gladly watch an 18-month-old in order to bring in some extra money to help pay for groceries.  I also work hard twice a year to sell everything I possibly can at local consignment sales in order to keep my kids looking well taken care of.  Those cute clothes my kids wear ?  They are bought at consignment sales and shops or on sale.  Always.  My new highlights were a gift from my loving husband, who can see how hard I try and wanted me to have a treat.  I used a coupon and only paid $55 for them.  Not a splurge at all.  The "new" car is a 2000 with 140,000 miles on it, and we paid cash for it when one of Tim's buddies decided to sell it.  The truck has been a member of the family longer than both kids, and thank God!, will be paid for after this month.  And the HD was purchased from my cousin amidst a nasty divorce for an awesome price.  Yes, we take our kids on fun outings, but not as often as I would like to.  Usually it is when it is free, discounted, or I have a coupon.  We sell everything we possibly can when we can in order to get some extra cash.  We no longer have a 4-wheeler or a boat (which was very difficult to let go of, mind you).  I try hrd not to spend money because I know that Tim will have to work twice as hard to put it back in the account.  I worry daily that Tim will work himself into an early grave, and all this added stress from the bankruptcy that won't go away isn't helping.

See not all rosy, hunh?

Now don't get me wrong.  I am happy.  With my life, anyway.  While I'm not glad that we had to go through a bankruptcy (I mean, who wishes for their credit to be ruined??), I still look it as a Godsend as far as helping us get our priorities in check.  I feel like Tim and I appreciate each other more now, and we appreciate what we do have.  Even when we do get back on our feet (which will not happen if these buttheads don't stop trying to ruin our lives), I'll still live frugally.  And in hing sight, just think of everything could have in savings if we hadn't been spending it back when we had it!  But, hindsight's 20/20, I suppose.

And I can hear your argument (probably because many of you have said it aloud to me) -- Why don't you just pay him the $4000.00 so he'll leave you alone?

Simply stated, because I don't owe him a dime.  Tim doesn't owe him a dime.  A company that is not defunct owes him money.  And when that company filed bankruptcy, it was decided that no money would be repaid.  To anyone.  And this man is by no means the only person SBD owes money to ... and it certainly isn't the largest amount owed.  But SBD has no money.  It was in debt when the company dissolved ... so there is no money to pay him.  The money that Tim and I make is not SBD money, therefor I will not alow a penny of it to go to someone else.  The money Tim works hard for is money to pay our bills and take care of our family.  Plain and simple.

It may sound selfish, but that's just the way it is.

I know times are tough -- trust me.  And some people are just looking for a way to make it work, just like we are.  But bullying and blackmailing is not the way to do it.

So poo on Mike.