Parenting has an article this month that made me feel soooooo much better after I read it. Here are 4 dirty little secrets that many moms may share (even if they don't want to admit it!).
1) If you have more than on child, you'll probably have a favorite.-- This one is my secret. Well, I suppose it's not a secret to everyone. This article says that most mom's have a favorite, though it may change from moment to moment or day to day. When Tanner was a newborn and had to have his needs met all day long, Kendall was the favorite. She helped me out, bringing me diapers and bottles. She was very good at entertaining herself while I fed Tanner or rocked him. She was always quiet when he was sleeping (which was most of the time). Today, Tanner is my favorite simply because he is at the age that I adore - 15 to 30 months. He is inquisitive without being annoying and sweet without being needy. I'm sure that any mom can relate. And I also know that as they get older, my "favorite" will change. It will be interesting to see who is my favorite when they are 11 and 13, or 13 and 15!
2) Raising kids gets much easier physically as they get older ... but much harder mentally. -- Hallelujah!! I was so excited when Kendall was potty-trained. No more carrying around 2 sizes of diapers and enough wipes for an army. And it was wonderful when Tanner started walking because he never wanted to be held. My arms were finally free, after 3 years of carrying one or more children!! However, had I known then (yes, there are "those words") that the potty-trained little girl would become such a stubborn and opinionated little girl, I gladly would have let her stay in PullUps for another year! And I also should have known that once Tanner started walking, the two would gang up on me in stores. I think they plan it in the car on the way every time. Once both kids have their feet steady on the store floor, they take off -- in separate directions, and I have to fight back the urge to scream in public (because I hate moms that do that). It's also tough handling children as they get older because they all these emotions that they can't explain; hence, the temper tantrums. And you hate seeing them cry, but you want them to be independent members of society one day, so you don't want to give in. It's tough making decisions when it seems like a lose-lose situation. I'm waiting for the day when Kendall and Tanner both say "Please" and "Thank you" to a person they don't know without prompting from me. It will be my reward for putting up with all these mentally challenging situations; to know that I have raised respectful, polite children.
3) Taking care of kids actually isn't that hard. But it can make everything else in life nearly impossible. -- This one made me laugh. I remember the first year I was at home with Kendall and Tanner. Tanner was a newborn, and Kendall was 26 months old. Once we got a schedule down with the baby, life actually wasn't so hard. Until I tried to make a phone call. Or load the washing machine. Or take a shower. If all we had to do, as moms (and dads), was take care of the kids, we'd be set! I can get them up, clothe them, feed them, play with them, bathe them, and put them to bed. Those are the easy things. It's the grocery shopping, vacuuming, cooking, driving, and eating that are a little more difficult with the kids. So as I'm trying to accept that I must go back to work in a year, I'm realizing that all the other stuff can wait. I want to relish this time with the kids; make it the best year we have together. If Tim's boxers don't get washed, he'll be OK. If we have to fast food because I never got dinner cooked, it's not a big deal. All the toys don't have to be picked up when Tim gets home; they can be picked up later. If we can't do all the things we want to do right now, it'll be fine. We can do them later, after we have taken care of our babies. So now I have let myself not get so worked up over the "other" stuff in my life. I'm living by the phrase "Don't sweat the small stuff." Take care of the relationships and everything else can take care of itself, eventually.
4) Your child might not turn out the way you want her to. -- I'm still waiting to see how this one will work out for us. Kendall and Tanner are still so young. I find Tim and myself trying to push things on the kids unintentionally. I want Kendall to take dance and be a cheerleader. We have been pushing trucks and bugs on Tanner since he was born. But what if Kendall decides that she doesn't want to be a cheerleader? Or go to the University of Georgia? Or be a Sigma Kappa? Will I be devastated? Yes, initially I will be. But I will get over it. I also know that Tim and I can be the best possible parents, and there are still external things that will influence how the kids turn out. Look at my brother. While he has certainly matured into a strong, proud family man, he wasn't always that way. And we were raised the same way, by the same parents, in the same home. We were just complete opposites. In ways, we still are. Tim and his sister are the same. Keri was the book smart one (like me) while Tim was a hands-on learner who couldn't wait to get out of school (like Josh). We are all successful now; we just got here on different roads. And I think my kids are the same way, opposites, I mean ... but it's still too early to tell. We'll see in a few years!
So those are my 4 dirty little secrets. I guess they aren't secrets anymore. I'd love to hear some of your opinions on the subjects ... make me feel like I'm not the worst mom for feeling like this!! If you think I'm terrible, that's fine. But I KNOW that you agree with at least ONE of these secrets ... and you know you do, too!
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