Girls vs. Boys

Just in case you're thinking this is going to be some warm and fuzzy comparison of my two gorgeous children, let me warn you. It's not. This is the story of a dinner conversation between a wonderful, understanding mommy, her talkative, studious preschooler, and her newly curious toddler.

Over burritos, quesadillas, and refried beans tonight, my children proceeded to have a conversation of which I was not, at first, a part of. I was getting all the food on the table (which takes a bit longer when Tim has to work late). Because we were having left overs, everything came to the table at different times. I have to place the plates, push them to the middle of the table so Snickers can't get to them, and then go back for silverware. (If I put silverware down first, Tanner proceeds to gouge holes in my kitchen table with his fork.) So while I was getting milk for the kids and a much needed beer for myself (yes, drinking "alone," but not really), I overheard Kendall and Tanner talking ... having a real conversation. I've heard them do this before ... when they are playing or when Tanner first wakes up in the morning and Kendall goes in to greet him. It really is so sweet the way they talk to each other 80% of the time. (The other 20% is pure torture as they scream and yell at each other. You moms of two or more know what this is like.) Usually I hear Kendall explaining how Tanner has said something wrong or showing him how to perform some task he has not yet mastered. This evening's dinner conversation was one that has been addressed before with Kendall -- the differences between girls and boys.

Yes, this difference becomes apparent very early to siblings. I suppose because they bathe together and often see each other in the buff, the physical differences are obvious. So as I listened, I heard Kendall telling Tanner the following things about girls:

1) Girls are prettier than boys.

2) Girls read better than boys.

3) Girls have little boobies, and boys have little boobies, but one day girls will have big boobies, like Mommy. Boys will always have little boobies. (Thank goodness someone thinks they are big!!)

4) Girls have teeth that fall out. (Not sure where that one came from.)

5) Girls have a tu-tus.

Apparently, the last point was the one that caught Tanner's attention because he quickly piped up, "I no have no tu-tu. I has wee-wee." This is where Kendall decided she needed to tell Tanner how boys are different from girls.

1) Boys smell different and old.

2) Boys wear socks with their shoes. (I'm assuming this is because she is wearing sandals and Crocs right now and has forgotten that she, too, wears socks with her tennis shoes.)

3) Boys go to work, and girls stay home with the babies.

4) Boys run faster and play football.

5) Boys are louder and don't raise their hands.

6) Boys have wee-wees.

I tried to let them finish, but I was also trying to hold back the fits of laughter. Where do they get this stuff? And the funniest part was that Tanner was GLUED to her every word!! Just hanging, waiting to see what she would say next, as if he was taking mental notes. He was even shaking his head every once in a while and agreeing with her, as if to say, "Hmmmm, very interesting, Sissy."

So as I approached the table, I had to intercede. I asked Kendall what they were talking about, and she looked at Tanner and said, "Well, Tanner, tell her what I taught you today." I wear, that's really what she said!! Here's the recap of Tanner's mental notes (and I was actually surprised I got this much from him.)

"I a boy. I has wee-wee. Sissy a grrrd (girl). She have tu-tu. Daddy a boy. He big boy. He have wee-wee, too. Mommy a grrrd. You big grrrd. You has big boobies."

I tried not to laugh ... I want him to feel encouraged ... but it was hard!! He told me this while shoveling his taco in his mouth. Like it was nothing. I don't know if I was more surprised by the topic of conversation or the fact that he remembered that much of what he told her.

As I'm reading this back I see that my shock and amazement is not coming through at all ... but hopefully you got a little tickle over it!