Ferberization and inconsistency -- my savior and my weekness

I have found something that really works!! Well, apparently it was found many, many years ago, but the idea has always had a negative connotation for me. Recently, after my complaining about not getting any sleep, a friend suggested the Ferber method. At this point in the game, I'm all for anything that will work! Tim and I had turned the doorknob around and we were about to lock her in for the night when Katherine scanned and emailed some pages from her book. Solving Your Child's Sleep Problems seems pretty straight forward. There's no "reasoning" with you child or being "robotic", the two extremes that I just can't seem to do. I know there is absolutely no point trying to talk to Kendall in the middle of the night to get her to stay in her bed. No asking her, "Why are you scared?" or "What can Mommy do to make you feel better?" I also, however, cannot do it the Supernanny way. I tried just picking her and putting her back in bed and walking out. I did it over and over and over ... but it seems that no explanation isn't the answer either. So Ferber it is.



3 nights ago I sat down after the kids were finally asleep and read the pages Katherine emailed. It seemed easy enough. The fundamental rule is if you stay in your bed, your door stays open; if you get out of bed, your door closes. And Kendall does not like her door closed. So night before last, before bed I explained the process to Kendall very plainly, just like the book says. Tim still sat with her to go to sleep (which we're figuring out is not going to work), but when she woke up at 2:30, I picked her up, put her in bed and said that if she got up, I was going to close her door. About 20 mins. later she came to get me, and as promised, I put her in bed and closed her door for 1 minute. She was fine at first, but once she felt she couldn't just open the door, she started crying. After 1 minute, I opened the door and put her back in, telling her that if she got out of bed, I would close her door, but for now I was going back to my bed and leaving her door open. About 3:15, she came out again, and I put her back and held the door for 2 minutes. (It's all progressive.) She FREAKED OUT!! Screaming, crying, wailing, banging on the door ... so we only made it to 80 seconds, but she got the point. After being put back in bed she only called out for me once (but didn't get out of bed!), and then fell asleep around 4, by herself, in her bed, and slept til 8 AM.

Wow, I thought! That really wasn't so bad at all. Then last night, she went to sleep by herself (with a little protest, but still alone), woke up at 12:30, I put her back in bed, told her to stay, and she did! Until Tanner woke her up crying at 5. Poo. So this is where the inconsistency comes in. At 5 AM, do I leave her in her room where she can't go back to sleep because I'm letting Tanner cry, or do I put her in my bed to go back to sleep? This is soooooo hard!! So against my better judgement, I put her in my bed ... and she didn't really ever go back to sleep ... because she knew she was supposed to be in her bed.

Oh well ... at least we're getting through to her. And I'm very proud of her ... and myself ... now to just get the rocking chair out of Tanner's room ...