The only way to describe how I'm feeling these days. And I wish I knew exactly why. I can't blame it on the weather -- everything has been gorgeous here, lately. My kids have been pretty good, 85% of the day at least. Tanner hasn't been sleeping well, but I'm pretty used to not getting much sleep, thanks to his big sister, so I
can handle some early mornings. We celebrated Kendall's 5th birthday last weekend, and she is officially a big girl now, which puts me in a good mood of sorts. She is more willing to help around the house now, which is certainly a welcome addition to our days. I've been seeing more of Tim lately, since he's been getting home from work fairly early in the day. I feel like we're getting some pretty good family time in here and there, and the kids are so much fun to "travel" with now. We've taken them on the boat and to the pool, and now we even are able to shop with them, whereas we used to try to dump them on Nana every chance we could to get odds and ends taken care of.So what could be the problem? Why am I feeling so grumpy?
The absolute only reason I can come up with is this weight-loss thing I'm facing.
****Warning -- If you want to remind me that I look "great" or that I shouldn't be worrying about "a little 5 lb. gain," then stop reading now. I don't care. And I mean that in the nicest way possible.
So when I went off the meds a few months ago, 5 pounds jumped right on my stomach and thighs. No big deal, really, considering I had dropped about 40 pounds. No big deal until I had to start donning the swimsuits. When I put on the bikini the first time on the boat, I realized I don't look as good as I did last year. What's up with that? While others may not notice the 5 pounds, I do. When you are only 5 feet tall, 5 pounds is a lot. So I decided that I must fix this ... must get the 5 pounds off.
First things first. I got another journal for writing down my points for WW (which is a [ain in itself; I used to 27 points whne I started, and now get 20), stocked up on all the good for you food I used to eat so I could stop eating the kids' foods. Started flipping through the WW cookbook and making notes of some good options for dinners. Started walking in the AMs with Tanner in a stroller. Then the inevitable happened ... Kendall got out of school.
Now walking with the kids is impossible. (If you haven't tried it, please do before you judge.)
So plan B was to start using the P90X set that Tim bought a few months back. We were gung-ho at first. The workouts are super intense ... I couldn't even get through the first workout completely the first time (but I did do the whole thing the second week through!). And I was so sore after day 1 that I had to take a break between day 1 and day 2. Anyway, I'm supposed to work out every day for an hour+ for 90 days to get a rockin' hard body.Yeah, I hear what you're thinking ... "So how's that going for ya?"
No so good, which is why I guess I'm down. I want to work out. I really do. I want to eat well. I really do. And when I'm working out, I feel good. And I feel even better when I'm done ... but an hour out of my day is a lot. And since I only get naps out of Tanner every other day, and Kendall rarely lets me have an hour to myself, it's really difficult to keep up the entire workout without having to stop.
So here I am, technically on day 3 of week 3, but I've only completed day 1 of week 2 ... oh, and wait, the best part, I worked my butt off for 2 weeks on WW and gained a pound.
What???!!!!
Frustration is mounting ... I suppose after a year of having fat melt away, this is what I get. A taste of what it's really like to have to work hard to look good.
And maybe that's why I'm down. I like it better when things are easy! :)
4 comments:
Kendall's cake is awesome! It sounds like you're having a fantastic summer with your family. And chances are that extra pound is lean muscle! Work it, girl!
ok, so now that we know how hard it is to find an hour to yourself to workout, try jillian michael's 30 day shred. it is a FULL body work out in 20 minutes! no joke. the DVD costs $8.99 on amazon. doin' it myself girlfriend. helps with the jigglies!
I know it is frustrating! I get paid to work out and I still have the five pound not going anywhere syndrom! My problem is drinking way to much - We are on the wagon for a month. Hmmm. Will let you know how that goes - DOn't beat yourself up about it - Worrying about it will make things worse and your cortisol levels will spike hence the weight gain. You look great - I know you don't want to hear it but I understand what you feel I am short too and one pound is too much for me - So hang in there and set your goals to be realistic and attainable - keep doing the P90X when you can walk when you can and it will fall into place! Love Ya hope to see you sooner than later!
i hear ya girl...last summer i pretty much refused to go to the lake b/c i was MISERABLE! Nothing worse than having to put on a bikini when you just don't feel good about how you look. It's tough when you work so hard and things don't "work" out the way you want them to. Keep at it though and it'll get better :) And you aren't nuts for obsessing over 5 pounds....i obsess over 1! You do look great but it's how you think you look that matters...i get ya girl!
beth
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