In the Middle

Any "The Middle" fans out there?  I may be catching this train a little late, but Tim and I caught a rerun last night while waiting for the kids to hit the hay.  It was the one where the youngest boy won't cross the bridge because he's afraid the bridge will crumble and they will drown after lake water rushes into the car and they are unable to get out.  Anyway, both parents try multiple times to get him to cross the bridge.  They try all kinds of tactics -- tough love, bribery, whining, threatening, etc.  But, in the end, they decide that they have not failed -- they have, in fact, won because they have raised an independent thinker who is strong-minded and does not give in easily to the advances from others.

So after watching that episode last night (and deciding that my family is more like a sitcom than I previously imagined), I found myself relating rather well to the mom on the show.  I find myself trying to talk to my kids and convince them that my decision is the best one.  I often want them to understand why my choices are wise ones and how silly their feelings and worries are when compared to the big picture of life.  We have had a tumultuous spring and summer, complete with thunderstorms and lightning, and both of my kids are afraid of both.  I have tried wishing it away (their fear), explaining it away, etc, and Tim has tried threatening it away.  To no avail, I found myself in bed with both kids night before last during our most recent storm.

You can imagine my relief when there was no thunder or rain last night at bed time.

So we put the kids to bed at a relatively early time (8:30 or so), and they slumbered soundly for a long time.  I slept rather well, and I'm assuming Tim did too.

Then, at 5:30 AM, Tanner comes racing in our bedroom and slams his face down on my side of the bed. Unaware of the time, I tried to turn and scoop him up, only to get clipped in the nose by his arm.  Apparently he was trying to climb in my bed ... not just wake me up.  Climbing in Mommy's bed is a big no-no in this house, and he knows it.  So I picked him up, all 50 lbs (not including the weight of his 4 stuffed animals and 2 blankets) of him, and we tiptoed back to his bed so as to not wake Sissy.

I never looked at the clock.

After I tucked him back in and checked under the bed for monsters and explained that the thump he heard upstairs was, in fact, not a monster, but was, instead, Sugar jumping off the bed (I guessed), I yawned my way back to my bed.  I glanced at the clock and realized it was 5:30 and noticed Tim was already gone for the day.  Just as I settled back into a good REM cycle, I heard a blood-curdling scream coming from down the hall.

Mind you, if I heard it over the sound machine, dog snores, and super-sonic fan, it was really loud.  Tanner doesn't have a monitor (his 7 year old sister does, for some reason), but he hasn't required one in years.  So I went racing down the hallway, hoping to get to him before he woke Kendall.

No such luck.

Kendall was in her doorway, screaming, "What in the world is wrong with you???????  Why do you have to wake up the entire house, Tanner??!!"

Ugh.

I told K to get back in bed while I attempted to calm the screaming coming from Tanner's mouth.

You see, he is so frickin' stubborn!  He argued with me and argued with me -- about the light and the fan and the sounds and the monster under the bed and the clicking noises -- until I was ready to scream.

And then I did scream.

I tried every thing the parents tried on "The Middle."

"Tanner, we have a big day tomorrow.  You need to get some rest."

"Tannerbug, Mommy wants you to stop being a baby and be a big almost-5-year-old boy.  Go back to sleep."

"Tanner, if you don't stop screaming and stay in your bed, I'm going to shut your door and lock it.  Is that what you want?"

"Tanner, I'm going to spank you if you get up again."

"Tanner, you aren't going to get any of the toys in your birthday bucket if you don't go back to sleep."

"Tanner, you're going to have to take a nap tomorrow if you don't sleep."

"Tanner, please let Mommy go back to bed."

Then, finally, 30 minutes later, Tanner was in Mommy's bed.  Along with his sister.  And then the sun was coming up, so no one went back to sleep.

Yes, I gave in.

Again.

I guess I'm just lucky that my kids have a nice balance between their two parents.  Tim is the tough love dad, and I'm the push over.

Which is equally balanced by the fact that Tim is the fun dad and I'm the mean mommy.

Doesn't make much sense, does it?

But at least we meet somewhere in the middle when it counts.