What a difference a few months make!

So I haven't posted since my first day at DMS.  I realize that after posting this morning.  I feel the need to do some follow up so those of you who have been so worried about my adjustment would be relieved.

I posted about the plethora of feelings I was having before my first day in October of 2012.  Now that seems like it was forever ago.  It took me a while to get the hang of everything, but it didn't take me long to fall head over heels for some of those kids.  Just like I said, kids are kids.  And I had a few kids this year who were out of this world.  I cannot begin to describe the pride I felt as I watched their buses pulling away on the last day as they waved goodbye.  I cannot describe the love I felt as I watched 3 girls run to me, arms wide, to give me one last hug before loading.  And I cannot describe the amazement I felt as one girl whispered, "I will never forget you.  I love you," in my ear.

Only a teacher can relate to what I'm saying.  I have always had a hard time saying goodbye, but this time was harder.  It was harder because I don't live in their community ... they are leaving ... going to Walton... I won't see them. Ever. Again.

Devastating, I tell you.

So the last week of school was full of emotions.

I watched as my school kids prepared for their summer vacations.  We had our 8th grade dance (I wish I had gotten some pictures ... it was so much fun!!) and our field day.  We took final exams and signed yearbooks.  I packed up my room during post-planning to return everything to my basement; I'm not sure if I'll be returning to DMS or not.  I think that's what made the end of the year so much more difficult.  I have grown very attached to my school, my students, and my co-workers.  I didn't think I was attached until I had to drive away the last day.  And as I left amongst "Good lucks" and "We hope to see you soons," I had a tiny sense of finality.

I really hope not.  I hope my administrators find a way to bring me back.  I hope I have a chance to work with the amazing teachers at DMS again.  I hope I'm able to see some of those little people again -- Walton football games may be calling my name.

But that's where I stand.  I am forever thankful for a friend who took a chance on me and talked me into  "just come in to meet with the principal."  I'm thankful to a principal who always tells it like it it and doesn't candy coat things.  I'm thankful to the teachers who welcomed me in and helped when I needed it but also let me find my own way if I was capable.  I'm thankful to the parents who made me feel valuable.  I'm thankful to the kids who made me feel like I'm still hip (wait, they don't use that word anymore??).  And I'm thankful to the precious butterbeans who let me watch them grow.  (They hated it when I used my little pet names on them ... especially the boys ...)

5 Things

Today was a good day.  A great first day. A fabulous first day with no pre-planning.

And while I am completely exhausted and Soo needing another glass of wine, I'm going to take a few minutes and share the things that really stuck with me today.

1) The ice machine at Dickerson has really good ice.  You know the ice at Zaxby's?  The ice that never seems to melt?  That's what kind of ice we have in East Cobb.  It's a perk.

2) You can locate the boys' locker room by following the cloud of Axe.  You're surprised???

3) I should have paid attention in science.  I was a bit (*just a bit...) out of my element today.  There were more than a few times when I had to say, "Ummm, hang on a sec, let me check on that for you."   Do you remember how to find the number of neutrons in a particular atom?  Or do you know why an atom is positively or negatively charged?  Yeah... Exactly.  I better brush up on my science.

4) All middle school girls befriend others the same way: with compliments.  It's good for the ego to be surrounded by 8th grade girls who compliment your clothes and hair.  Made my day.

5) Boys, no matter how old, appreciate a pat on the back.  There were a few times when I had to hold myself back from ruffling their hair (It's not preschool...), but I could tell they appreciated knowing I care, even if I just met them.

So those are the points I took away from today.  The school is great, the staff is welcoming, the kids are amazing, and the learning curve is gigantic.

Game On

Ok, it's T minus 11 hours until game time. My lunch is made, my outfit is picked out, little people arrangements are made for before school and after, I've read Chapter 12 in the science book, and I've moved past the nerves.

Let me tell you, Chapter 12 is a snooze.  Would it be bad for me to tell the students that?  Does the periodic table excite YOU?

Anyway, I'm ready.  My hubs gave the best pep talk ever.

"Tomorrow you will go to work, you'll be lost all day, you'll come home.  You'll be tired.  Your feet will hurt.  But you'll be fine."

You gotta love him, right?  He tells it like it is, for sure.

But he's right.  I won't have any idea what's going on tomorrow.  But I'm entertaining the idea of giving each class a 1-minute question-and-answer session.  I've used this before with kids.  They can ask me anything (within limits) and I will answer inside a 1-minute time frame.  Then we will move on.

Of course, I've never used that with 8th graders.

May be problematic.

Either way, I'm excited about my new adventure.

They're just kids.  And kids are still kids with the same insecurities and needs, no matter how much money their parents make or what kinds of jeans they wear.

So I'll tackle tomorrow with the same fervor I had 12 years ago when I entered the doors of Floyd Middle School.

And hopefully these kids will love me (and learn from me) as much as those kids did!

Not the 8th grade I remember

Yesterday was hard.  On many levels.  I've never been "the new girl;" my first job, there were 15 new hires.  My second job, I came in during pre-planning and there were other new teachers as well.  My third job, I had been subbing and my kids had gone to school there, so everyone already knew me.  Yesterday, I was completely new.  Not one person in that building knew me except my assistant principal.

Can you say scary???

And not only was I the new kid on the block, I'm in a new grade level with a new subject area surrounded by new walls in classes with kids who have been with another teacher for almost 2 years (some of the ESEP kids have been with the same teacher since 6th grade).

And 8th graders are intimidating.  And big.  And these 8th graders are rich, which just adds another level of intimidation.

But if you ever tell these kids I said they were intimidating, I'll beat you with a stick.

Luckily, the staff at the school is awesome -- they were all very welcoming and tried to make me feel at ease.  The teacher whose place I am taking (she's moving into a GEN ED position and I'm taking her ESEP position) is my new best friend.  She has gone out of her way to make sure my transition in will be smooth as possible.

But, for some reason, when I got in my car yesterday to drive home, I just lost it.  I was completely overwhelmed and exhausted, my feet hurt, and I was scared to DEATH of what Monday will bring.

What's wrong with me?  I've totally got this.  I'm a teacher, for goodness sake.  I've dealt with some of the roughest kids in Cobb county when I worked in south Cobb.  Most of my general ad kids were worse off than the special ed kids at my new place.  I think my brain had just absorbed all it could take yesterday (every time I turned around it was, "Have they told you about this?" or "Did she tell you that?"  and the answer was always, "No ..."), and tears were the only way to release some of that energy.

I know everything will be fine.  I will go to work on Monday and get in a groove.  Tim and I will get a system going at home.  The kids will be OK without me in the afternoon.  Everything will be OK.

It's just the change.  I'm no good at change.  And even after spending the day at school yesterday, I have no idea what I'm walking into on Monday.  I still don't have a full picture.

But I also know that after a week, it will all be habit.  And I'll wonder how I ever stayed away from the classroom for so long.

So, yes, I'm nervous as hell.

But I'm also excite beyond belief.

A Leap of Faith

I'm so glad I ran into an old friend at Taco Mac last weekend.   And by old friend I mean we've known each other for a long time, not that either of us is old.  In fact, I think both of us have aged rather gracefully --

I digress.

Tim and I were out for one of our many weekend dinners last weekend when we spotted a family of friends a few tables over.  I don't know why but I'm always so shy about approaching people in public ... I don't know if I'm just not sure if they will remember me or if I'm not sure that they will want to talk to me.  You know how you play that game of, "I'll sit here and see if she comes to talk to me first," while the other person is sitting at their table doing the exact same thing??

What?  You don't do that?

Anyway, Friend's hubs and boys got up to go to the restroom so I used that as opportunity to go over and say hi.  Of course, Tim and my poor kids ended up sitting at the table ad waiting because Friend and I don't know how to keep a conversation short.

I won't you bore you with the details of our conversation, but I will tell you this --

She asked me what I have been up to and I mentioned the interview I had at Dickerson.  While she was excited for me, it was something she said about her current situation that really struck me.  She told me that she was quitting her job and going full-steam-ahead into her Rodan & Fields business.  She was going to sell her car , pull her boys from their expensive preschool, and take a leap of faith because it's what she believed God had planned for her.

A leap of faith.

We all need to do that once in a while.

So on Friday afternoon when my phone rang at work and it was Cobb County BOE calling to offer me a position at Dickerson Middle in East Cobb, I stalled for a minute.  I heard myself (in somewhat of an out-of-body way) telling this woman on the phone that I live really far away from Dickerson ... and that I had an interview in Cherokee a few days back ... and that I was scared of never seeing my kids again ...

Then I heard myself ask, "By when do I need to decide?"

WHAT?!  Keisha Morris, you have been waiting for this opportunity for FOUR YEARS.  For FOUR YEARS you have filled out applications and waited for the calls to interview to come in.  Now here you are, questioning a job offer at the number 2 middle school in Cobb County?  What are you thinking??

After she told me that she would need an answer by Monday afternoon (THIS afternoon), I said, "OK, I can let you know by then ..."

And then I stopped myself.  And I remembered what my friend said at dinner.

And I took a leap of faith.  I told her, "Never mind ... I'll take the job.  I absolutely want this job."

And I couldn't be happier.

Of course, I could go on and on about how awesome the interview was and how comfortable I felt when it was over.  I could tell you that it makes a huge difference when the principal makes you feel like you are wanted, or even needed, at the school.  It makes a huge difference when you have an "inside source," gunning for you to succeed the entire time.  And it helps when the people you currently work with are also rooting for you to get this new position because they know you are going to shine brighter when you get where you are supposed to be.

So thank you to my "insider, my new principal, my current co-workers, and my family for all the good vibes.  And thank you to my friend who reminded me that sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and just trust that everything is going to turn out just like you hope.