What a difference a few months make!

So I haven't posted since my first day at DMS.  I realize that after posting this morning.  I feel the need to do some follow up so those of you who have been so worried about my adjustment would be relieved.

I posted about the plethora of feelings I was having before my first day in October of 2012.  Now that seems like it was forever ago.  It took me a while to get the hang of everything, but it didn't take me long to fall head over heels for some of those kids.  Just like I said, kids are kids.  And I had a few kids this year who were out of this world.  I cannot begin to describe the pride I felt as I watched their buses pulling away on the last day as they waved goodbye.  I cannot describe the love I felt as I watched 3 girls run to me, arms wide, to give me one last hug before loading.  And I cannot describe the amazement I felt as one girl whispered, "I will never forget you.  I love you," in my ear.

Only a teacher can relate to what I'm saying.  I have always had a hard time saying goodbye, but this time was harder.  It was harder because I don't live in their community ... they are leaving ... going to Walton... I won't see them. Ever. Again.

Devastating, I tell you.

So the last week of school was full of emotions.

I watched as my school kids prepared for their summer vacations.  We had our 8th grade dance (I wish I had gotten some pictures ... it was so much fun!!) and our field day.  We took final exams and signed yearbooks.  I packed up my room during post-planning to return everything to my basement; I'm not sure if I'll be returning to DMS or not.  I think that's what made the end of the year so much more difficult.  I have grown very attached to my school, my students, and my co-workers.  I didn't think I was attached until I had to drive away the last day.  And as I left amongst "Good lucks" and "We hope to see you soons," I had a tiny sense of finality.

I really hope not.  I hope my administrators find a way to bring me back.  I hope I have a chance to work with the amazing teachers at DMS again.  I hope I'm able to see some of those little people again -- Walton football games may be calling my name.

But that's where I stand.  I am forever thankful for a friend who took a chance on me and talked me into  "just come in to meet with the principal."  I'm thankful to a principal who always tells it like it it and doesn't candy coat things.  I'm thankful to the teachers who welcomed me in and helped when I needed it but also let me find my own way if I was capable.  I'm thankful to the parents who made me feel valuable.  I'm thankful to the kids who made me feel like I'm still hip (wait, they don't use that word anymore??).  And I'm thankful to the precious butterbeans who let me watch them grow.  (They hated it when I used my little pet names on them ... especially the boys ...)

A Leap of Faith

I'm so glad I ran into an old friend at Taco Mac last weekend.   And by old friend I mean we've known each other for a long time, not that either of us is old.  In fact, I think both of us have aged rather gracefully --

I digress.

Tim and I were out for one of our many weekend dinners last weekend when we spotted a family of friends a few tables over.  I don't know why but I'm always so shy about approaching people in public ... I don't know if I'm just not sure if they will remember me or if I'm not sure that they will want to talk to me.  You know how you play that game of, "I'll sit here and see if she comes to talk to me first," while the other person is sitting at their table doing the exact same thing??

What?  You don't do that?

Anyway, Friend's hubs and boys got up to go to the restroom so I used that as opportunity to go over and say hi.  Of course, Tim and my poor kids ended up sitting at the table ad waiting because Friend and I don't know how to keep a conversation short.

I won't you bore you with the details of our conversation, but I will tell you this --

She asked me what I have been up to and I mentioned the interview I had at Dickerson.  While she was excited for me, it was something she said about her current situation that really struck me.  She told me that she was quitting her job and going full-steam-ahead into her Rodan & Fields business.  She was going to sell her car , pull her boys from their expensive preschool, and take a leap of faith because it's what she believed God had planned for her.

A leap of faith.

We all need to do that once in a while.

So on Friday afternoon when my phone rang at work and it was Cobb County BOE calling to offer me a position at Dickerson Middle in East Cobb, I stalled for a minute.  I heard myself (in somewhat of an out-of-body way) telling this woman on the phone that I live really far away from Dickerson ... and that I had an interview in Cherokee a few days back ... and that I was scared of never seeing my kids again ...

Then I heard myself ask, "By when do I need to decide?"

WHAT?!  Keisha Morris, you have been waiting for this opportunity for FOUR YEARS.  For FOUR YEARS you have filled out applications and waited for the calls to interview to come in.  Now here you are, questioning a job offer at the number 2 middle school in Cobb County?  What are you thinking??

After she told me that she would need an answer by Monday afternoon (THIS afternoon), I said, "OK, I can let you know by then ..."

And then I stopped myself.  And I remembered what my friend said at dinner.

And I took a leap of faith.  I told her, "Never mind ... I'll take the job.  I absolutely want this job."

And I couldn't be happier.

Of course, I could go on and on about how awesome the interview was and how comfortable I felt when it was over.  I could tell you that it makes a huge difference when the principal makes you feel like you are wanted, or even needed, at the school.  It makes a huge difference when you have an "inside source," gunning for you to succeed the entire time.  And it helps when the people you currently work with are also rooting for you to get this new position because they know you are going to shine brighter when you get where you are supposed to be.

So thank you to my "insider, my new principal, my current co-workers, and my family for all the good vibes.  And thank you to my friend who reminded me that sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and just trust that everything is going to turn out just like you hope.

What Advice is Good Advice?

I have this friend. She's a really good friend. She's been married to her husband for almost 10 years. They have children. They live in a beautiful house with their beautiful dog. From the outside, she appears to be really happy and "together," much like so many wives and moms would like to be.

This is why it is so hard for me to listen to her talking about the lack of trust in her marriage. At least I know she's having a hard time trusting him ... years ago, her husband strayed. He had a little fling with a co-worker. It didn't last too long, but when my friend found out, she was devastated. Now it's been years, and she's still having a hard time handling the situation. She, her husband, and his fling still run in the same circle of friends. They live in the same city ... hang out at the same restaurants ... and occasionally, they have run into this girl. While her husband swears that there is nothing going on now, my friend knows he has talked to the girl on a few occasions, whether it be on the phone or in person. My friend desperately wants to trust her husband. He is the love of her life, the father of her children, but she still finds herself wanting to check his email and cell bills. These thoughts have almost become an obsession of sorts. So she asks me what she should do.

I don't know what the right thing is ... I don't know what to tell her. I could tell her to just give him the benefit of the doubt; however, when she did that before, he broke her trust. I could tell her to confront him, tell him her feelings. But she is afraid of "rocking the boat." Like I said before, from the outside her life appears perfect. She and her husband always seem happy to others when they are out. They even seem happy to each other when they are at home. But it is so obvious to me after talking to her that she is so very unhappy. She goes out of her way to make sure he is happy all the time, but it doesn't appear to me that he reciprocates. She hardly ever gets time to herself, while he goes on guy trips every few weeks. There are so many things about her marriage that bother me ... but I don't want to give her the wrong advice.

Part of me wants to say, "Lay down the law! Tell him that if you find out that he has seen or talked to her again, you are taking the kids and leaving!" Another part of me wants to say, "Just talk to him, tell him how you feel." Then another part wants to say,"If he says he's not talking to her, then you should trust him. What's a marriage without trust?" I'm torn.

So I come to you, my very wise readers. What do I do? What do I tell her? I am the only person she has confided in; all of her family and friends live elsewhere. She is waiting for ME to tell her what the next step is. She has printed emails and phone bills with the forbidden phone number on them, and she doesn't know what to do with them. Can you, oh wise ones, please impart some wisdom? (She does not read my blog, so be as honest as you like.) I appreciate it!

Family dinners are growing on me ... finally!

Tim and I have some really great neighbors. We've actually always been blessed with great neighbors, but we have finally found another family with young parents and 2 kids. The dad is a lot like Tim -- he enjoys working in the yard, getting dirty on his 4-wheeler, and hanging out. The mom is a lot like me -- she was a cheerleader in high school, was a stay-at-home mom until her youngest started Kindergarten, and likes her girly time, too. Their two sons are absolutely precious. The oldest is a really great kid. As a former 6th grade teacher, I've been exposed to hundreds of pre-teens. This young man is one of the sweetest, most polite, and most considerate of any I've ever met. While most kids his age would run from the idea of "playing" with the neighbors' younger kids, this one doesn't balk at the idea at all. Every time we are outside, he says hello. When we hang out at their house, he's open to checking on the younger kids whenever asked. When we eat dinner with them, he lets Kendall pick at him and slap on him, even if it's getting on his nerves. And he even plays with Tanner, which is a big deal because there is a 9 year age difference. He never complains about "babysitting" at all -- well, at least not to me. The younger son is a real boy's boy. He's always going 90 miles a minute, but still never forgets to say hello when passing by. Kendall has always had a little crush on him. When she first met him, she was smitten. For months, she would only whisper, "Hi," as he passed by, never loud enough for him to hear her. It was so cute. Now that they are older and have gotten to know each other, she talks and plays with him. Though he is older than Kendall by two years, he includes her when she wants to be included, and that means a lot to Kendall and to me.
So now we have this new family to hang out with. It may sound silly, but Tim and I are very excited about it. We've always wanted another family to pal around with. And now that we've started spending time with them, it seems like we've seen them every weekend! I think it's great, even though I feel like they will probably get tired of spending time with us. Unfortunately, Tim and I don't have that many couples to hang out with ... our friends from college all live too far away or don't share our interests ... our other "couple" friends either don't have kids, have kids who aren't the same age as ours, or are always busy with other things. I think what makes me happiest about this new friendship is that the mom will say things that I'm afraid to say. For example, last time we had dinner, she mentioned to the men that we needed to start alternating weekends. One weekend they could go ride 4-wheelers and the next we could do something while they watched the kids. I would never dream of suggesting that to Tim. I don't know why, I just don't ever say things like that even though I think it all the time.
So hopefully this is the beginning of a really good friendship ... one that will last even after we move ... because I actually like their entire family. Our family dinners with them are relaxing and calm, even when the kids are nuts! I only hope that they know how much I enjoy spending time with them.

Dear, Sweet Heather!!!!

Do you know how many days it's been since I've had adult interaction other than my husband? In person, I mean. I'm not talking about the stinking computer messages from politicians or talking to my mom 15 times on the phone. Nor am I talking about e-mail or Facebook messages. I mean human to human, face to face contact.

3 days. 72 hours. That's ridiculous. For those of you who work outside of the home, you probably cannot fathom this idea. I couldn't when I was teaching. In fact, I used to WISH I could get a day away from the adults I had to deal with.

Oh, but not now. No way. So when a college friend and sorority sister, Heather, asked to come pre-shop my consignment sale crates, I jumped at the chance!! She is a stay at home mom as well, with a new born and a two year old (God bless her!). It is so easy for us to relate to each other simply because our kids are the same age apart. I realized sitting with her today that I was in her shoes 2 years ago. I can't believe it was that long ago.

As she talked about feeling like something was out of whack all the time, I understood what she meant. When she talked about her oldest enjoying time out, I could only smile because Kendall used to do the exact same thing. And it felt so good not to have to apologize for Kendall sitting on top of her, or wanting to hold the baby the entire time, or staring at her as she nursed. I usually have to apologize to people because they either have older kids or none at all. But not with Heather. She listened attentively to everything Kendall asked. She answered questions. She let Kendall hold Kate as much as she wanted, being very patient as she had to rearrange pillows and arms several times so Kate wouldn't get squished in Kendall's arm pit. It was wonderful to see my children interact with someone else. And what an amazing experience to realize that I have known this woman for, what?, 10 years now? And we are sharing this new journey ... our kids know each other and play together. It's just a really good feeling that probably sounds gushy and mushy to some.

So as Heather and I bounced parenting tips off each other and talked about how much we've learned from Jon & Kate plus 8, I hope she noticed how much I needed to talk. I hope she realized how much talking to her makes me feel like a better mom. I hope she appreciates me half as much as I appreciate her!

I look forward to many more play dates with Heather -- I mean, Meg and Kate. ;)