Parenting 201

I'm wondering what I missed when I didn't go to those first-time parent classes when I was pregnant.  I was on strict bed rest for a month, so I skipped the hospital tour (seeing that I had already been there 3 or 4 times before delivery) and the breastfeeding class (you've heard how that turned out for me).  I seem to remember there was an option for a first-time parent class as well that Tim and I decided against for unknown (or un-remembered) reasons.

Now here I am, at 7 AM 6.5 years later, after a night of tossing and turning, wondering if that class and its instructor could have told me how to handle our current situation.

This girl thing is hard.

I talked to K yesterday afternoon about her alleged indiscretions at school.  The first time I tried, she denied it.  At first.  But just like I knew she would, once I told her that she wouldn't be in trouble if she just told the truth, she crumbled.  I used my Mommy Eyes on her.  She admitted that she did in fact show the un-named boy her panties and that she did pull her shirt up for him.  Of course, I had expected her to tell me it was a complete lie, so I was unprepared.

Note to all you Girl-Mommies -- Be prepared for the worst.

So after she admitted she did it, I proceeded with the usual questions ...

Why?  When?  How did it happen?  Why?  Why?  WHY????

Those were followed with ...

Kendall, look at me.  Put your legs down and look at me in my eyes.  This is serious, Kendall.  Mommy's not kidding.

Anyway, I got no information about which boy it was, which led me to say, "You showed your panties to a boy and you don't even remember his name?!"  (I'm having nervous flash forwards to our teen years here ...)  Because I was left with nothing else to say (yes, unprepared), I left it with, "If you ever do this again, you will be in SUPER BIG TROUBLE."

Yeah, that'll get her.

When K headed outside to play (and not with the big girls in the neighborhood -- I'm thinking I may need to have a talk with them before we proceed with playtime), I scoured the shelves of the family room.  There must be a book that covers this, right?  Parenting 101 covered all the new baby stuff -- changing, sleeping, feeding, burping, first aid ...

But I need a book that covers indecent exposure and being a follower!!!

Where are those books?

I then decided I was going to wait for Tim to get home and let him talk to her.  But he was working late and I really wanted this taken care of before the weekend so I wouldn't have to worry about it anymore.  (Uh-hunh, right.)  So then I found the kids rolling in the grass, I took it as an opportunity to bring them back in the house (picture grass everywhere ...) and finish our talk.  While K changed her clothes, I asked her again to tell me who the boy was.  She said he told her to pull up her shirt and pull down her pants, and that this wasn't the first time.  When she said she couldn't remember his name, I told her that she could point him out when I am there Wednesday ...

And that did the trick. :)

"It was --------, Mommy"  (The boy's name has been omitted for his protection.)

So now I have a name, and a story to work with.  I know several people have told me this is not a big deal and I should just let it go.  But I really don't want everyone thinking that my daughter is the 1st grade hoochie.  I talked to K and told her why it is important to keep the underparts covered up and why it is important to go with your first instinct when you feel like something is wrong.  This is the second time this boy told her to do this, and she told him no the first time ... so I'm not sure why she cracked this time.  I can tell it was innocent enough and she didn't mean anything by it, but I certainly don't want to continue on into puberty with a little girl who gives in and follows the pack every time just to be cute or cool.

Hence the tossing and turning.

This parenting stuff is so hard.  I mean, I did OK making them and  growing them ... and I did pretty well in the baby stages, all things considered.  But this new stuff is hard -- I'm not sure I'm cut out for it.  How do I know that what I'm saying is sinking in?  Do I just keep repeating it?  Do I record my voice and put it under her pillow at night, sending subliminal messages?

"Do not show your panties ... do not show your panties ..."

But then again, I don't want her to be ashamed of her body and think that nudity is a bad thing.  I want her to be proud of her body and know that she is beautifully created.

I just want her to know she is beautifully created within the walls of our home. :0)

I suppose this is just one of the difficulties of having a little girl.  Certainly there will be more in the future ...

Now I need to head to the bookstore and see if I can find the Cliffs Notes for that Parenting 201 class ...

Favorite Photo Friday

I have to sneak this one in before I hit the recliner.

Tanner Michael

Child's Play Halloween Party - October 2010

Nothing special about it, really.  Just that he's in it. :)  And if you can't tell what he's doing, he's chowing down on his cookie because it was the only thing he had to eat at his party.  Besides candy.

I guess next time we have a school function I should pack him a PB & J sandwich.

Strangest kid ever -- he doesn't like pizza.

But he loves cookies.  And being Venom.  And having me at his parties at school.

I love being a Mommy.

Hope for Boys!!

Kendall is going to be a cheerleader for Halloween.  Yes, she's making my dream come true.  Of course, as we strolled through the aisles of Halloweentown of Halloween for Less or Halloweenland (I don't remember what it's called), she kept pulling on the princess costumes -- "Mommy, I wanna be this."  Most of the Disney costumes are too small for her now, and that makes me a little sad.  So once she figured she couldn't be a princess, we started scouring for the perfect costume.  We tried on Tinkerbell (Not technically a princess ...) and Alice in Wonderland (which I thought was pre-cious!).  Then we tried on Daphne and some movie star thing.  She loved the movie star costume, but it was way too long, and I wasn't much in the mood to do alterations.  We passed down the aisle one last time (as her eyes and hands gravitated toward the big girl costumes that are way too "big" for her) and she spotted the cheer costume.  I'm pretty sure it caught her eye simple because it was pink.  And it had pom-poms.  At least that's what I thought at first.

Now, after my conversation with the AP at her school, I'm thinking K may have chosen it because it shows her belly.

I'm afraid to admit it, but I think my daughter is growing up too quickly.  More so than I originally thought.  I mean, I can see that she is physically getting bigger ... her jeans are too short and her shoes get tighter more quickly.  Her hair is getting longer and her big, squishy baby cheeks are now a thing of the past.  And as hard as I try to fight it, she wants to grow up.  And I'm afraid now that it may be happening faster than I thought!

According to the AP, I may have a streaker on my hands.

Yep, I should've just let K wear her underwear for Halloween, as it appears that she is showing them to her classmates anyway.

Allegedly.

I'm still waiting to get her side of the story, but according to the AP, a boy's mom sent in a note saying that K showed her "chest" and her panties to her son at school.  On two separate days - one day of chest and one day of panties.  Of course, when the AP asked K about it, she had no idea what she was talking about.  (A lie?  We'll see ...) and when she questioned the boy, he couldn't "give any specifics."  Specifics?  Like what?  When it happened?  Where?  How?

I'm seriously having a hard time with this one.

I know my daughter.  And while she may have a slight fascination with the boobies in my family (mine, her grandmothers', her aunts' ...), she hasn't been exposed to anyone else's.  It's not like we have Playboy magazines lying around the house.  As for the panties, I'm not so sure.  K is super modest -- she hasn't let me come in the bathroom with her while she pees since she was 3.  So I just can't see this happening.

Anyway, that's what the call was about.  I spent all day thinking that I may be getting a job offer out of this ...

Geesh.

Follow Up

I must follow up my last post with the conversation my children had last night while I was getting dinner ready.

Allow me to set the scene for you ...

I'm in the kitchen, slaving away, getting dinner ready.  (OK, so it was hardly slaving.  I was heating up chicken nuggets and jambalaya from the Butcher Shop, but whatevs.)

Kendall and Tanner had been called downstairs in order to wash their hands before dinner.  We must rid ourselves of as many germs as possible before consuming food.  And as messy as my urchins are, it is important to be rid of the germs.  (Picture: spitting, petting the dog while eating, sharing drinks, wiping snot on shirt, coughing and sneezing, smacking ...)  Kendall kept trying to get Tanner to jump from the coffee table to the sofa; this is one of their favorite past times.  (Please refer to my post on allowing them to jump on the sofa so I can get dinner ready.  Probably shouldn't have started that habit when they were smaller.)

Anyhoodle, I calmly reminded them that they are not supposed to jump from the table to the sofa, that our home is not a circus or a trapeze act.  Then, I reminded them again, this time not so calmly, that if they didn't stop, I was going to take a marble from their buckets.  After removal of the marbles (you see how my threats work, right?), I told them that they were not going trick or treating if one more person jumped anywhere in the house.  And it wasn't really a "told" situation -- it was more of a "yell."

So then the two of them proceeded to sit on the sofa, heads huddled together, talking about me.

Really??

It was like sitting in the high school cafeteria my senior year all over again.

This is what I heard.  Mind you, I'm not sure they were trying very hard to be discreet ...

K: Mommy is so mean, right?
T: Yeah, she is.
K: She never lets us do anything fun, does she?
T: Nope.
K: Daddy is so much better, isn't he?
T: Yeah.  I like Daddy.
K: (with tears in her eyes) I wish Daddy was here, don't you?
T: Yeah, me, too.
K: Daddy is so much better.  sniff, sniff
T: Yeah ...

What the heck??

Anyway, I was going to let it bother me, but then I decided to beat them at their own game.

So here's what I said.

"Oh, yeah?  Well, just remember that MOMMY is the one who buys your clothes and cooks your food (most of the time).  And MOMMY is the one who buys your Christmas presents, birthday presents, and Halloween costumes (OK, well it's Daddy's money, but I drive to the store and everything).  So there!"

That'll show 'em. right?!