We're being invaded!!!!

Ewww, ewwwww, and EWWWWWW! I think my house is being invaded by body snatchers disguised as the most disgusting spiders I've ever seen!!! Last week Kendall and Tanner were outside playing on the deck, riding their cars around the patio table (their racetrack) when Kendall came in screaming. I thought she had been stung, she was gasping for breath and sobbing. She wouldn't tell me what was wrong, so I ran outside and asked Tanner.

For those of you who have a 2 year old boy, you know how comical this scene probably was to outsiders.

I asked, "Tanner, what happened to Sissy?"

"I ride my bisisle (bicycle)."

"I see that Tannerbug. Did you bite Sissy?"

"Yep. I sowwy, Sissy."

So I check for bite marks because he has been biting lately. But it's usually when they are both tired and trying to play with the same toys. I found no bite marks.

Kendall was still screaming.

So back outside I go.

"Tanner, what happened to Sissy?"

"See Piderweb (spiderweb), Mommy? Yukk!"

I looked at the window where Tanner was pointing and saw a HUGE, GINORMOUS black spider. You can probably guess what happened next.

"AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

Now I know why Kendall was screaming!! So I had to form a plan of attack. I couldn't just leave it there; the kids were playing. The man of the house (though worthless when is comes to spiders) was at work. So I had to put on my big girl pants and figure this out.

First, I grabbed the broom. Bad idea. Apparently, I forgot spiderwebs are sticky.

Next, I tried just banging on the wall to get it to jump down, you know, committing suicide. That didn't work. It was as if the spider was just hanging there, laughing at my efforts.

Last, I decided just to swing at it, bare handed. That's right, folks, I'm a hero!! Supermom! Luckily, the spider wasn't as sticky as the web!! It fell to the deck, but then I had nothing to smash it with, so we chased into the cracks between the deck boards where it got lodged and, I suppose, died of starvation!! Hooray for Supermom and her band of followers!

Not to be outdone, I believe the spiders family and friends have all set up camp around my home, trying to hold us hostage. I have since spotted 4 of these spiders. The biggest one we found today, hanging outside the kitchen window. Do you know how hard it is to eat with that thing hanging there??

So I need another plan, a GOOD plan, to be rid of the growing number of spiders ... I have checked online, and they are not poisonous, as I first suspected. They are just really big and really ugly. Garden spiders, I believe, which is hilarious because I couldn't grow a garden if I tried! Mom suggested ant and roach spray. Maybe I'll try that.

Anyway, here's a glimpse of our, ummm, housemates. Warning: Not for the weak of stomach!!