Take My Mother. Please.

OK, OK, before all you nosy family members jump on your phones to tell my mom I'm talking about her, you should keep reading.

I mean this in the nicest, sweetest, most loving way possible.

My mom is awesome.  She is beautiful and kind.  She has a loving and patient heart.  She is a dedicated hard worker.

And for all of these reasons, she absolutely does not deserve to be alone.

Now that I know for sure she doesn't want to be alone, I'm putting it all out there.  I wish I could write her profile for the online dating sites.  I'm fairly certain she hasn't said all the things I think about her -- and that so many other people feel.  If I wrote her profile, she'd be fighting them off with a stick!  Honestly, I believe if my mom put herself in the right situations, she would meet someone.  She's been trying the online stuff for a while.  She's made several "matches," but nothing ever seems to pan out.  I wish she had more time to devote to meeting people -- and not just men.  I think she would be a happier person if she had a group of friends to hang out with -- to go to the movies and dinner.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I've said it before -- I love having her available to babysit at any time.  And if she was dating, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be able to do it.  But the kids are getting older, and I don't mind taking them with us when we have to if we have a date night or something like that.

What I do mind is how my mom has so much on her plate -- she works 4 days a week, 10 hours a day.  One day of her weekend is devoted to spending time with my grandmothers at the nursing home.  She also visits one night during the week after work.  She gets up so early for work that she's exhausted when she gets home from work.  She has this crazy dog that has kidney problems and costs her an arm and a leg, and she pees and poops (the dog, not my mom) all over the house, which doesn't help with Mom's stress.  She spends her days and nights worrying about her mom (my grandmother in the nursing home), her sisters, her brother, me and my family, my brother and his family ... and I know, that's what moms do..

But I want her to think about herself.  I want her to be completely selfish.  I want her to not have to worry about what the other people in our family think about this guy or this new outfit or the paint color or the new furniture.  But with her big heart comes big worries.  I don't know where her low self-esteem comes from.  She always puts herself down when I talk to her.  She asks me why, after 6 1/2 years, no one has approached her; no one has asked her out.  I don't know what to tell her.  I don't know how to explain that the world must be blind.

She said something to me on the phone two days ago after I told her a friend's mom was getting married for the 3rd (or 4th) time.

"How does this happen to other people?  What's wrong with me?" she asked.

It took me a little off guard.

There's is nothing wrong with her.  At all.

"There is no way that the one man I married is the only love I was meant to have my entire life."

OK, that one threw me for a loop.

He was a damn good man, though, Mom.  Some people marry 4 or 5 men who don't even come close to totaling her 1.

And while I pray every night for her to find someone else to share the rest of her life with, I know he won't be as awesome as the first love. ;)

So here are the requirements:  (Yes, I'm campaigning.  And not because she's desperate or because she asked me to.  In fact, she'll probably be upset when she reads this.)

He must be at least 5'10" tall.
He must be a Christian.
He must have something to offer -- she can't support him forever.  I'm hoping for a little money because she'd like to retire ... eventually ...
He should be handsome.
Tim would like for him to be Harley man.
He should have strong shoulders to help carry the burden.
He should be accepting of the crazies in my family.
It would be nice if he has kids and grandkids as well, so he can appreciate the worry she provides.
He should be honest.  No liars.  No ladies' man.

Anything else, Mom?

So if you know any men like this, send me their names and numbers.  We can play match maker.  My mom needs and deserves some happiness in her life.  She's given me so much; this is my way of giving back. :)