Not Among the Masses

I may be shot for this post.

But I'm going to post it anyway.

I finally finished Fifty Shades of Grey last night.  I say "finally" because I've been trying to read it for about a month or so now.

Yes, ladies, it took me more than 10 hours (gasp!) to read the first installment in the trilogy.  Not because I was sneaking away to be alone or because I wanted to read it by myself so no one would see me blushing.  But because I honestly didn't enjoy it.

I bought the book for my Kindle under false pretenses.  After reading all the rave reviews from my mommy friends, I was hoping for some good, what I prefer to call, mindless beach smut.  But this book goes above and beyond that.  The term "Mommy Porn" has been used loosely to describe it; I think that is a rough estimate of what falls between the overs of this one.  Being a modest, semi-private, Christian woman, I just couldn't get into this one.

I'm sure there is a story in there somewhere, but I couldn't get past all the dirty sex and F-bombs to find the story.

So there you go.  I will not be reading the 2nd and 3rd books.  I'm just not interested.  I don't care if Anastasia takes him back.  I don't care if they have a beautiful love story when its all over with.  I don't care who plays Christian or Ana in the movie (though i find it terribly difficult to imagine them actually making a MOVIE out of this ...).  I don't care why he is the way he is, where the scars came from, or why she didn't run for the hills the first time he opened that door.

And that's several hours of party planning I've missed and $9.99 I'll never get back.

Apparently there are others who agree with me ... for different reasons ...

Feel free to post your disagreements ... now ...

Blessings

Every year as June 6th rolls around, I find myself in a really grumpy mood.  Of course, I don't realize why the grump has washed over me.  I usually contribute it to a full moon or grouchy kids who are already bored with their summer vacation.  Or I may blame it on Tim's work schedule or my lack of direction/motivation or the fact that I'm so frustrated with not being able to find another teaching job.

Alas, I woke up this morning and Kendall announced, "Today is June 6th, Mommy."

She was, of course, reminding me that her 8th birthday is only 10 days away.

But all I heard was "June 6th."  And I was suddenly overwhelmed with sorrow.  Most of you know today is the anniversary (which I hate calling it because anniversaries are supposed to be happy ...) of my dad's death.  Yes, I still remember every second of that day.  I'm not sure those memories will ever fade.

But what does scare me is that other memories are fading -- I don't dream of him as much as I used to.  I remember what he looks like and what his voice sounds like, but somethings I can't remember.  And that makes me so sad.

How will I tell the kids about their grandpa if I can't remember every single bit of him?  How can I make then understand what a loving and caring man he was?  How can I make them understand his passions and his ambitions?  How will I ever be able to make them believe how much he loved them -- even Tanner, whom he never met?

After moping for an hour and thinking about how to talk to them about what I'm feeling, I instead decided to look at it a different way.

I am so blessed to have had a man like that as my daddy.  I am blessed to have videos of him with his voice, so I'll never forget.  I'm blessed he was there to walk me down the aisle and to dance with me at my wedding.  I'm blessed I was able to see him holding my first born.  I'm blessed to have heard (and read) the words telling me he was proud of me.  I'm blessed to have handwritten notes and photos of him so I'll never forget what he looked like.

And I can share all of those memories with my kids, his grand babies.  I hope that my older nieces know how blessed they are to have memories of him.  He adored his granddaughters.  And I know he would have given anything to laugh with his grandsons.

So instead of being sad today, I will instead hold onto these blessings.

Hot mom check in ...

OK, "hot" may be a stretch.  But it's working.

I had high hopes for doubling up on the workouts once the kids were out of school.

Uh hunh.  I think I forgot they are both perfectly capable of walking on their own and complaining.  The.  Entire. Time I am trying to get in a good walk.

Anyhoodle, Tim and I did take a brief hiatus over the holiday weekend.  We know Memorial Day is not about cookouts and partying on the boat or by the pool, but we celebrated our freedom by drinking low calorie beer and eating the best damn brisket ever smoked on a Green Egg.

Yes, my husband is the master.

And we figured since it was our "Recovery Week" with Insanity, it was OK to take a day or three off.  (Mind you, Tim still had us doing some massive reconstruction in the yard.  Imagine ropes tied around tree trunks ... large holes in the ground ... the two of us attempting to pull ton-size trees from the bed of his truck, etc.)  Needless to say, there was no break-taking.

But we did bask in the glory of the sun for two days at our insanely crowded neighborhood pool and partake of a few adult beverages.

So Monday it was back to the grind.  And we were ready.

Well ... until we weren't.

Brisket and beer wreak havoc on your internal organs.

And my internal organs were screaming about half-way through the fit test.

But we proceeded through 35 minutes of a fit test and an hour long, grueling max interval circuit.

And I wanted to die when it was over.  To be specific I wanted to die 5 or 6 times, and I may have even asked Jesus to take me home more than that ...

Then, as Tim and I lay in a pool of sweat on the family room floor, we vowed to get back on track with our eating and un-drinking.

So even after a weekend of bad behavior, here are the results from this week's fit test.

Week 5 (Which is technically Week 6 of working out):

Switch kicks: 126
Power jacks: 60
Power knees: 109
Power jumps: 40
Globe jumps: 11
Suicide jumps: 16
Push up jacks: 25
Low plank obliques: 60

Weight: 130.2

Waist: 28"
Hips: 36"
Left thigh: 22 1/8"
Right thigh: 21 1/5"

My fit test results are a marked improvement from the beginning.  And, as an added bonus, I can actually make it through the entire minute of exercise before bad words start flying from my mouth.

Aside from all of the numbers (and I've sworn off the scale until I get to my fit test days), I can finally SEE the difference.  Yes, Tim and I bask in our glory at night before bed, examining each other's muscles.  Last night was particularly funny ...

"Hey, did you know there's a muscle right here?"
"Yep.  Look a this one on my arm."
"I have that one too!  And look at this one.  Do you have this one?"

I know.  We're pretty funny.

And even better?  For family pictures last week I got into my size 4 skinnies.

A huge feat considering I couldn't get my fat ass in them a few months ago.

But I held onto them.

And when this is over I'll reward myself with a new pair of skinnies ... in a smaller size.

Thanks to those of you who keep checking in on me and asking how it's going.  The downfall to posting all of these updates is that everyone expects us to look like the people in the videos when they see us at the pool.  And we absolutely don't. But I'm not sure we ever could ... I mean, I have carried two substantially-sized babies in my little frame.  We are both over 30.  We have lived years eating the wrong foods and drinking the wrong drinks.  And honestly, Tim and I don't feel the need to push ourselves that hard.  Sure, we sit at the pool and look at other couples and say, "We really need to get serious about this ...," but then we pop open another Bud Light Lime or eat another handful of almonds.

It's all good.  We're getting there.

And while you may not want my abs or my cottage-cheesy thigh when its all over with, you WILL want these arms and shoulders ...

And that's all you see in clothes anyway. ;0)

Week (or Weak ...) 4

I meant to post on Day 16, but the days have, once again, gotten away from me.  So I find myself here, on  Sunday morning, mourning the loss of our baby mouse (which is another post altogether), with a little time on my hands before this morning's workout.

And, honestly, I was feeling a little frustrated around day 11.  I mean, here we were, working our asses off, and I had gained a pound.

Yes, GAINED.

And I'm pretty sure I leave 5 pounds worth of sweat on the floor every day.

But, alas, on Day 15, we did our second fit test and I was pleasantly surprised to see some marked improvement.  Then I did some measuring (because the scale said +3 on day 21...) and also saw some pretty good improvement.

So here you go.

Day 15 Fit Test:

Switch Kicks: 104
Power Jacks: 57
Power Knees: 106
Power Jumps: 35
Globe Jumps: 10
Suicide Jumps: 15
Push-Up Jacks: 23
Low Plank Obliques: 50

And Day 21 Stats:

132.7 lbs.
Waist: 28 3/4 inches
Hips: 37 inches
Left Thigh: 21 3/5 inches
Right Thigh: 21.5 inches

So, not too shabby, I guess.  For those of you who have talked to me, you know the eating is going well (though Tim and I have decided that the 5 meals a day crap is for the birds ...); we are eating healthier.  But, no, the non-alcohol days only lasted about a week.

Well, until Friday night to be exact.

But I did give up my wine on most nights.  (Which is OK because light beer is better for summer anyhow ...)

And I can feel a difference in my body.  Things are tighter.

But I still want these stupid love handles to disappear.

We still have a month and a week to go.  I've read that the pounds really start melting off in the second month, so here's to hoping.

Thanks to everyone who is keeping up with this endeavor.  I will say this -- you should absolutely not try this system if you haven't done something as hard core previously.  It would be a waste of your money to buy it if you can't do the workouts.

And Tim and I still can't make it all the way through without stopping.

Several times.

But we'll get there!!