#dontblink

How many blogs have I written since last summer about this time?  Maybe 3 or 4 ... time gets away from me, though I find myself bored out of my mind during summer break.  I am on day 5 with my kids at home and I've already started contemplating the "I'm bored" box of ideas --- more for me than for them.  I made the mistake of buying Minecraft for their iPods, and that will keep them busy all day long if I let it.

Someone please tell me that there is a point where they can "win" Minecraft and it will no longer be fun and interesting?!

We can only spend so much time at the pool with scares of skin cancer, ear infections, and toe blisters abounding.


I ran into some friends at the pool yesterday and one recommended that I join her brood for some outings this summer.  Sounds like a fabulous idea until you start thinking about it.


Outings mean I have to put on real pants.  And drive.  And spend money.


I know, I'm worthless.  If my kids appeared to need things to do, we would go.  I think it is Newton's Law of Parenting that once I plan something and find somewhere to go, they are BFF and are getting along perfectly.  (That also falls under the Law of cuts and boo boos on the face the night before school pictures.)  But maybe we will venture out this summer a few times.

Easter 2011

Today the plan involves traveling to Party City to buy wants and needs for the upcoming TENTH BIRTHDAY!!!  What???  I know, it's hard to believe this little nugget is going to be 10 in exactly 10 days.  She is slipping nicely into the double-digits, complete with size 6.5 foot, a 28AA bra, 60 inch legs, and attitude for miles.  I raise a glass to all the mothers of tween everywhere.  My colleagues at work have already warned me that this is only the beginning.  And I'm fairly certain her little brother, who has been her go-to guy for almost 8 years, is completely unprepared to handle the changes we are experiencing.  He doesn't like knocking on the door before entering, he doesn't like secrets among girl-friends, he doesn't like mood swings.  I feel for him.  I just keep telling him that this will pass ... and the reward will be cute girls coming over to visit with big sister.  And maybe he will get some dates out of it. ;)

Heather's Graduation 2014

I'll keep holding onto the itty-bitty bits of my baby girl that are still simmering under the surface.  Because before we know it, this will be her.  In 7 more years.  And if the next 7 go by as quickly as the first 10, I should start missing her now.


And for those of you who follow my blog and know me very well, you know/remember what today is.  My least favorite day of the year.  9 years.  9 years of missing my daddy.  9 years of wishing I could hug him again.  9 years of watching things happen in my life and thinking, "Daddy would love this."  And my niece's graduation was no exception.  I spent the entire graduation ceremony thinking, "He would be so proud," or "He would be screaming the loudest," or "He would have thought to sneak in that air horn."  Heather and PawPaw were always very close; I hate that she only had him for 9 years.  I can only hope that she realizes how pr

PawPaw and Kendall 2004

ecious those memories are and how special they are ...

I miss my daddy ...

At your age ...

I just returned from my annual check up for the old Earth suit.  Earlier in the week I went in to have blood drawn so that, perhaps, the doctor could explain to me why I'm 1) so tired, 2) so forgetful, 3) so head-achey, and 4) so prone to gaining weight.

Honestly, I was secretly hoping there was some sort of issue with my thyroid (I know, seems crazy after being so pissed at the vet for wanting to run the same panel on the cat …).  Then I could blame my complete lack of will power and utterly pathetic weight gain on an actual "issue" and not just on myself.

Alas, I left the office knowing a few things about myself.

I have gained, yet another, 2 lbs.

My thyroid is functioning perfectly.

It is time to schedule my first mammogram.  Because I fall into "that age range."

I have ridiculously high blood pressure, particularly for someone of my "age."

I, conversely, have amazing cholesterol levels.  My good cholesterol is the highest the doctor has seen for someone "at my age."  I will take responsibility for that as I'm so careful about including good fats in our diet.

My B12 and D are low.

My red blood cells are larger in diameter than a regular person's "my age."  I should curb my drinking because it may be affecting my blood.

I need to start reading labels and watching my sodium intake.  (How do you read labels on things that don't have labels?)

I should get my eyes checked.  That is something that should be pretty regular for "someone my age."

So, I left the office with a prescription (well, 4) for blood pressure meds, a banana a day, my migraine preventative/sleep med, and homework to take my blood pressure twice a day for a week.

I hate feeling like this.  Like no matter how hard I work, my body just won't do what I want.  Things used to be easy.

Getting old sucks.

PSA from your child's (possible) future teacher

Yes, I chose this profession.  Well, actually, it chose me, but only another teacher understands the impact of that statement.

Yes, I get multiple breaks within my "work year."  And yes, that is a "perk" of my profession.  However, had you been surrounded by the walking hormones I shared my day with today, you would understand the requirement of said breaks in order to keep teachers from locking their students in small closets.  I equate it to an animal mother eating her young.

Yes, I work in one of the best schools in Cobb County.  Am I thankful for the job?  Absolutely.  Do I love my kids?  97.5% get unfaltering affection. Do I have abundant parental involvement?  To a fault.  Do my kids perform well on standardized tests?  Who gives a rat's patootie?!  (But yes, they do.)

Yes, God has blessed me with the ability to deal with 8th graders when even their own parents want nothing to do with them.  Yes, I have an exorbitant amount of patience, which is currently wearing very thin.  However, that does not mean that parents shouldn't have rules.

So here are the top 10 rules for parents of middle school students.

1) Your kids need pencils.  Nice wooden ones.  Oh, and paper.  Your job is to provide these things... Not mine.  It is also unfair for your kid to depend on his charm to get supplies from classmates.  Buy school supplies.

2)  Your kid has homework.  Every night.  Yes, it may even be 2 hours of homework.  And flipping flash cards or studying (not reading) notes is homework.  Every.  Night.

3)  Along the same lines, do not go into a parent meeting with ,"He tells me he is doing his homework.  I mean, he's just in his room (with his cell phone and xBox)... And I never check on him. But he says he's doing it."  Check on the homework.  Often.  My little people are still very naive and trustworthy, but I still scan homework as needed.  Do it.

4)  A personal life is integral to a middle schooler's existence.  However, charm and wit will not pay the bills.  There has to be a balance.  Encourage sports and friendships, but equally enforce the importance of grades.

5)  Be informed.  When I don't know something is going on with my own children, I know it is my fault.  For not reading the newsletter or checking the school website.  You birthed your children.  It is your job to check on their assignments.  Teachers have around 175 students to keep track of while at work.  We don't mind keeping track of what they do at school.  In our realm.  But if we take the time to schlep through the papers, enter the grades, provide the test retakes, enter the grades, and update the blog, you need to make it part of your day to help your child follow up.  It is a symbiotic relationship.

6) Get the facts.  I'll let you use your imagination on that one.

7) Talk to your kids.  I know most parents do.  But ask about their day.  Ask about their friends.  Ask about their teachers.  Even when you get the usual, "nothing," it's still important to ask what your child learned that day.  Not only does it keep you informed on what's happening at school; it also allows your kid the chance to share (ie. restate, teach, or summarize) what was learned at school.

8)  Realize that the teacher is not the enemy.  I promise.  So please don't come in to meet with her in attack mode.  I spend more time than you care to know listening to other teachers talk about how much they do care.  I sometimes find myself wishing I didn't care as much as I do.  There are times when some students and their problems keep me awake at night.  I promise.  And I know I am not in the minority.

9) Please, in the name of all that is holy, stop giving excuses for your kid.  I know every kid has his quirks or issues.  Trust me ... I get it.  But giving excuses for every action (or lack of action) only gives your child more power.  If he didn't do his homework, make him own it.  If she didn't study for a test or didn't manage her time wisely, let her suffer the consequence.  Providing an excuse for every wrong-doing only makes the slacking easier.  My favorite students are the ones who greet me with a straight-up, "Mrs. Morris, I didn't study.  The new Call of Duty came out Nd I played all night."  I also like, "Mrs. Morris, I went to the Miley Cyrus concert last night and didn't study."  I can't even get mad if she says it was worth the F on the test.  Because it was honest.

10) Your kid is my kid.  I never forget that your kid is the center of your world, just as I hope my little people have teachers who feel the same.  I call them my "kids," much to my own offsprings' chagrin, because I spend more time with them than their parents do during the school year.  I know what they want from life because I ask.  I don't care if they like me as much as I like them; I have plenty of friends.  I show them respect because I expect the same from them.  I want them to be successful.  I want them to achieve.  I want them to hand friends.  I want them to be happy.  Well, as happy as a hormonal 8th grader can be.  But I will not lower my standards to make life easier.  And please don't ask me to.

As we embark on our final 2 days before Spring Break, I will try to hold back the tears behind my lids caused by stress.  I will hold me tongue when your child doesn't behave exactly as I expect.  I will contain my angst when he refuses to sat in his area, get to class on time, or keep his hands to himself.

And I will pray that after Spring Break, the kids will return with the attitude to make it through the rest of the year.  Because high school is coming.  And then the real world.  And there are not many second chances in the real world.  There are no IEPs or accommodations.  So be prepared and prepare your child for the real world.  Do it.  It's your job as a parent.

Wow ... you must be so patient ...

... Nope... Just crazy.

When people ask me what I do and I tell them I'm a teacher, they always act shocked.

"Oh, bless you."
"I could never do that."
"That takes a calling."
"I can't imagine dealing with other people's kids all day long."

And then I tell them I teach middle school, and they're all,

"Wow, how do you handle the attitude?"
"You must be asking for punishment."
"Middle schoolers are so disrespectful; how do you handle them?"

And then I mention that I teach special ed 8th graders.

And I contain my giggle as their faces contort and twist into expressions of shock and disgust.

Seriously, people, it's not that bad.  The horrors and nightmares you have contructed in your mind are nothing like my days.  Well, not entirely.

If anything, the kids are the reason I stay in teaching.  And the super awesome people I work with.

So why do I do it?  In these days of crappy health care, budget cuts, growing class sizes, and more focus on test scores, why do I stay in the classroom?

Trust me, I hear this question almost as often as I see the contortion in faces.

Most days, if you ask me, I can't come up with a reason right away.  My reasons are difficult to put into words.  Especially is you ask me on a day when I've had meetings, essays to grade, and parent phone calls to return.  Especially if you ask me after my small group language arts class which, 4 days out of 5, feels like a 3-ring circus.  Especially if you ask me after a lesson that I have spent hours writing fails miserably because of lack of interest or behavior problems in the classroom.

But there are glimmers in a day ... moments of enlightenment ... and I am reminded ... reminded of what brought me to teaching.

"Just enjoy your kiddos."

After working on some lesson plans this morning, running a load of towels, making all the beds, and emptying the trash, I texted Tim to get my Honey-Do list for the day.  So rarely do I have the chance to ask him if he needs anything during the day.  Even more rarely does he require my services -- he's so self-sufficient, after all.   Alas, I asked, "Anything you need me to do today?"

His response was priceless.

"Just enjoy your kiddos."

He makes my heart gush.

After sending him a cute little emoticon blowing a kiss, I started thinking about how times have changed.  Not so long ago I would pay to have some time alone.  Some time to sit and think.  Some time to read.  There have been times in the not-so-distant past that I have considered hijacking my children -- kidnapping them and stealing them-- rescuing them, even-- from their lives.  Just last week, among the snow and ice, I wished for a few more stolen moments with the "babies" inside my kids.  While we grunted and moaned our way through dressing for the snow (Good Lord, how do Northerners do that all the time?!) ... while Tim and I barked orders to "Hold your sleeve!" or "Put on your wool socks!" followed with screams of "Yes, you do need two pairs of socks!" and "That's a stupid question -- of course you need a hat!"... I still felt myself wanting it to slow down.  I don't necessarily want time to slow down to the pace of a turtle ... or the pace at which Tanner ties his shoes ... but I just want a little more time to enjoy some of these moments that are swooshing past at lightning speed.

Let me give you an example.

As a child, my parents took my brother and I to see the Ringling Brothers Circus every year.  It is one of the many things that my parents did that, quite honestly, Josh and I took for granted.  As we prepared to take our brood to the circus last night, I realized that we have so few chances like this.  I caught myself getting annoyed as Tanner pouted his way through the CNN Center because he was hungry.  I was flustered that Kendall wouldn't hold my hand and, instead, wanted to hold Jack's hand (Jack is five ... so don't start worrying about that yet!)  During the intermission, I was miffed that Kendall kept asking, "When is this gonna be over?"

Then, I was annoyed with myself.  For being annoyed.

In order to block out the guilt I felt while watching the elephants doing their little dances (Yes, I've read Water For Elephants), I began reflecting on how much of my time with my children is spent wishing for that particular moment to be over.  The whining, the arguing, the fighting, the incessant complaining.  I wish for it all to end as soon as it begins.  But just as I wish for that time to speed up, the other moments-- the hugs, the smiles, the laughter-- are also speeding by.

I recently read a fellow blogger  (Yes, I still consider myself a "fellow" though I haven't blogged in, like, a year.) who posted on this exact phenomenon and how wishing for the bad times to pass (and then feeling guilty about it) have led moms to compete so much.  I constantly find myself now, when other mom friends unload about their bedtime battles or their potty training woes, repeating her mantra, "This is normal."

And then I follow it up with, "This too shall pass."

Meant to be a promise of encouragement, it is also a warning.  A warning that, yes, your child will eventually want you to sleep in your own bed without her ...  and you will miss feeling that close.  A warning that, yes, your son will eventually stop wearing diapers ...  and he'll also stop wearing those cute little jon jons and will, instead, ask for shirts with skulls and such.  A warning that, yes, your house will be very quiet one day soon as your children play outside in the snow without you ... and you'll wish they still wanted you to be part of their clique.

And this is normal.

So I'll go enjoy my kiddos for now -- while they want to help make dinner.

Favorite Photo Friday

Gymnastics Performance May 2013

Love.  Love.  Love.  We've been trying to find something that both kids enjoy (that doesn't blow the budget!) and that they are both good at.  Gymnastics is it.  While I had hoped tumbling would be a transition to cheerleading for K, she seems to really like just tumbling.  Tanner is a natural too ... he is so strong.  I was a proud momma watching them smile with their trophies. :)

What a difference a few months make!

So I haven't posted since my first day at DMS.  I realize that after posting this morning.  I feel the need to do some follow up so those of you who have been so worried about my adjustment would be relieved.

I posted about the plethora of feelings I was having before my first day in October of 2012.  Now that seems like it was forever ago.  It took me a while to get the hang of everything, but it didn't take me long to fall head over heels for some of those kids.  Just like I said, kids are kids.  And I had a few kids this year who were out of this world.  I cannot begin to describe the pride I felt as I watched their buses pulling away on the last day as they waved goodbye.  I cannot describe the love I felt as I watched 3 girls run to me, arms wide, to give me one last hug before loading.  And I cannot describe the amazement I felt as one girl whispered, "I will never forget you.  I love you," in my ear.

Only a teacher can relate to what I'm saying.  I have always had a hard time saying goodbye, but this time was harder.  It was harder because I don't live in their community ... they are leaving ... going to Walton... I won't see them. Ever. Again.

Devastating, I tell you.

So the last week of school was full of emotions.

I watched as my school kids prepared for their summer vacations.  We had our 8th grade dance (I wish I had gotten some pictures ... it was so much fun!!) and our field day.  We took final exams and signed yearbooks.  I packed up my room during post-planning to return everything to my basement; I'm not sure if I'll be returning to DMS or not.  I think that's what made the end of the year so much more difficult.  I have grown very attached to my school, my students, and my co-workers.  I didn't think I was attached until I had to drive away the last day.  And as I left amongst "Good lucks" and "We hope to see you soons," I had a tiny sense of finality.

I really hope not.  I hope my administrators find a way to bring me back.  I hope I have a chance to work with the amazing teachers at DMS again.  I hope I'm able to see some of those little people again -- Walton football games may be calling my name.

But that's where I stand.  I am forever thankful for a friend who took a chance on me and talked me into  "just come in to meet with the principal."  I'm thankful to a principal who always tells it like it it and doesn't candy coat things.  I'm thankful to the teachers who welcomed me in and helped when I needed it but also let me find my own way if I was capable.  I'm thankful to the parents who made me feel valuable.  I'm thankful to the kids who made me feel like I'm still hip (wait, they don't use that word anymore??).  And I'm thankful to the precious butterbeans who let me watch them grow.  (They hated it when I used my little pet names on them ... especially the boys ...)

(Bitter)Sweet dreams ...

The last thing I did last night before I went to bed was look at the calendar.  It was just as I feared ...

June 5th.

Which means tomorrow (or today, as it is now) is June 6th.

I hate today.


So I suppose it is only natural that I dreamt of him last night.  My dreams of him have been few and far between lately, what with daily grind and all.  I'm lucky if I get a solid enough sleep to have any dreams lately.  But I fell asleep last night thinking about him and he found his way into my dreams.

And I feel blessed that I am still able to remember his voice.  When he hugged me in my dream, he still smelled the same -- like fresh cut grass and sweat.  When we talked, his eyes were still that blood-shot crystal blue.  And when he told me that he was home and he would't have to leave again, I was overcome with joy.


Pure joy and happiness.

Oh, how I wish my dreams could come true.

I miss you, Daddy.  Every day ... but especially today ...

Come back and visit any time. :)

5 Things

Today was a good day.  A great first day. A fabulous first day with no pre-planning.

And while I am completely exhausted and Soo needing another glass of wine, I'm going to take a few minutes and share the things that really stuck with me today.

1) The ice machine at Dickerson has really good ice.  You know the ice at Zaxby's?  The ice that never seems to melt?  That's what kind of ice we have in East Cobb.  It's a perk.

2) You can locate the boys' locker room by following the cloud of Axe.  You're surprised???

3) I should have paid attention in science.  I was a bit (*just a bit...) out of my element today.  There were more than a few times when I had to say, "Ummm, hang on a sec, let me check on that for you."   Do you remember how to find the number of neutrons in a particular atom?  Or do you know why an atom is positively or negatively charged?  Yeah... Exactly.  I better brush up on my science.

4) All middle school girls befriend others the same way: with compliments.  It's good for the ego to be surrounded by 8th grade girls who compliment your clothes and hair.  Made my day.

5) Boys, no matter how old, appreciate a pat on the back.  There were a few times when I had to hold myself back from ruffling their hair (It's not preschool...), but I could tell they appreciated knowing I care, even if I just met them.

So those are the points I took away from today.  The school is great, the staff is welcoming, the kids are amazing, and the learning curve is gigantic.

Game On

Ok, it's T minus 11 hours until game time. My lunch is made, my outfit is picked out, little people arrangements are made for before school and after, I've read Chapter 12 in the science book, and I've moved past the nerves.

Let me tell you, Chapter 12 is a snooze.  Would it be bad for me to tell the students that?  Does the periodic table excite YOU?

Anyway, I'm ready.  My hubs gave the best pep talk ever.

"Tomorrow you will go to work, you'll be lost all day, you'll come home.  You'll be tired.  Your feet will hurt.  But you'll be fine."

You gotta love him, right?  He tells it like it is, for sure.

But he's right.  I won't have any idea what's going on tomorrow.  But I'm entertaining the idea of giving each class a 1-minute question-and-answer session.  I've used this before with kids.  They can ask me anything (within limits) and I will answer inside a 1-minute time frame.  Then we will move on.

Of course, I've never used that with 8th graders.

May be problematic.

Either way, I'm excited about my new adventure.

They're just kids.  And kids are still kids with the same insecurities and needs, no matter how much money their parents make or what kinds of jeans they wear.

So I'll tackle tomorrow with the same fervor I had 12 years ago when I entered the doors of Floyd Middle School.

And hopefully these kids will love me (and learn from me) as much as those kids did!

Not the 8th grade I remember

Yesterday was hard.  On many levels.  I've never been "the new girl;" my first job, there were 15 new hires.  My second job, I came in during pre-planning and there were other new teachers as well.  My third job, I had been subbing and my kids had gone to school there, so everyone already knew me.  Yesterday, I was completely new.  Not one person in that building knew me except my assistant principal.

Can you say scary???

And not only was I the new kid on the block, I'm in a new grade level with a new subject area surrounded by new walls in classes with kids who have been with another teacher for almost 2 years (some of the ESEP kids have been with the same teacher since 6th grade).

And 8th graders are intimidating.  And big.  And these 8th graders are rich, which just adds another level of intimidation.

But if you ever tell these kids I said they were intimidating, I'll beat you with a stick.

Luckily, the staff at the school is awesome -- they were all very welcoming and tried to make me feel at ease.  The teacher whose place I am taking (she's moving into a GEN ED position and I'm taking her ESEP position) is my new best friend.  She has gone out of her way to make sure my transition in will be smooth as possible.

But, for some reason, when I got in my car yesterday to drive home, I just lost it.  I was completely overwhelmed and exhausted, my feet hurt, and I was scared to DEATH of what Monday will bring.

What's wrong with me?  I've totally got this.  I'm a teacher, for goodness sake.  I've dealt with some of the roughest kids in Cobb county when I worked in south Cobb.  Most of my general ad kids were worse off than the special ed kids at my new place.  I think my brain had just absorbed all it could take yesterday (every time I turned around it was, "Have they told you about this?" or "Did she tell you that?"  and the answer was always, "No ..."), and tears were the only way to release some of that energy.

I know everything will be fine.  I will go to work on Monday and get in a groove.  Tim and I will get a system going at home.  The kids will be OK without me in the afternoon.  Everything will be OK.

It's just the change.  I'm no good at change.  And even after spending the day at school yesterday, I have no idea what I'm walking into on Monday.  I still don't have a full picture.

But I also know that after a week, it will all be habit.  And I'll wonder how I ever stayed away from the classroom for so long.

So, yes, I'm nervous as hell.

But I'm also excite beyond belief.

A Leap of Faith

I'm so glad I ran into an old friend at Taco Mac last weekend.   And by old friend I mean we've known each other for a long time, not that either of us is old.  In fact, I think both of us have aged rather gracefully --

I digress.

Tim and I were out for one of our many weekend dinners last weekend when we spotted a family of friends a few tables over.  I don't know why but I'm always so shy about approaching people in public ... I don't know if I'm just not sure if they will remember me or if I'm not sure that they will want to talk to me.  You know how you play that game of, "I'll sit here and see if she comes to talk to me first," while the other person is sitting at their table doing the exact same thing??

What?  You don't do that?

Anyway, Friend's hubs and boys got up to go to the restroom so I used that as opportunity to go over and say hi.  Of course, Tim and my poor kids ended up sitting at the table ad waiting because Friend and I don't know how to keep a conversation short.

I won't you bore you with the details of our conversation, but I will tell you this --

She asked me what I have been up to and I mentioned the interview I had at Dickerson.  While she was excited for me, it was something she said about her current situation that really struck me.  She told me that she was quitting her job and going full-steam-ahead into her Rodan & Fields business.  She was going to sell her car , pull her boys from their expensive preschool, and take a leap of faith because it's what she believed God had planned for her.

A leap of faith.

We all need to do that once in a while.

So on Friday afternoon when my phone rang at work and it was Cobb County BOE calling to offer me a position at Dickerson Middle in East Cobb, I stalled for a minute.  I heard myself (in somewhat of an out-of-body way) telling this woman on the phone that I live really far away from Dickerson ... and that I had an interview in Cherokee a few days back ... and that I was scared of never seeing my kids again ...

Then I heard myself ask, "By when do I need to decide?"

WHAT?!  Keisha Morris, you have been waiting for this opportunity for FOUR YEARS.  For FOUR YEARS you have filled out applications and waited for the calls to interview to come in.  Now here you are, questioning a job offer at the number 2 middle school in Cobb County?  What are you thinking??

After she told me that she would need an answer by Monday afternoon (THIS afternoon), I said, "OK, I can let you know by then ..."

And then I stopped myself.  And I remembered what my friend said at dinner.

And I took a leap of faith.  I told her, "Never mind ... I'll take the job.  I absolutely want this job."

And I couldn't be happier.

Of course, I could go on and on about how awesome the interview was and how comfortable I felt when it was over.  I could tell you that it makes a huge difference when the principal makes you feel like you are wanted, or even needed, at the school.  It makes a huge difference when you have an "inside source," gunning for you to succeed the entire time.  And it helps when the people you currently work with are also rooting for you to get this new position because they know you are going to shine brighter when you get where you are supposed to be.

So thank you to my "insider, my new principal, my current co-workers, and my family for all the good vibes.  And thank you to my friend who reminded me that sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and just trust that everything is going to turn out just like you hope.

Stained

For the life of me I cannot figure out how my 6 year old boy gets so darn dirty.  After scrubbing stains out of clothing for the last 30 minutes just to have to wash (and possibly re-wash), dry, and then fold them, I am amazed at how much stuff collects on Tanner's shirts.  Not only is there yogurt, PB & J, chocolate, and marker, but there are also signs of Sharpie, chalk, grease, toothpaste, and some other un-nameable substance.  Smells like rubber cement so I'm not entirely sure what it is.  They don't use that stuff in school anymore, do they?

Anyway, since there is no possible way he made all of that mess himself (though he did leave the house one morning with syrup, water, and toothpaste on his shirt ...), I'm convinced that he not only wipes his own face with his shirt, but his friends must also use his shirt as a napkin.

Or tissue.

Ewww.  I hope that's not what the un-nameable substance is ...

Oh, the joys of having boys!

While I Process

I've got some time while my hair processes, so I might as well take advantage.

Last night, Tim and I took the kids to see the Creekview Grizzlies play against Sequoyah.  I figured since my kids are in the Sequoyah district and I have a little baby cousin who QB's for the Creekview, it was a good game to go watch.  So we loaded up the crew and headed out, dressed in green and blue (yes, I know, not black and gold ...).

First, I had no idea how much it would cost to get into the game.  I never had to pay to enter the gates of any high school game.  It cost our family $30 to get in this game.  Seriously.  (Side note -- Completely worth it.)

Second, Friday nights must be the nights all the high school hoochies whip out their shortest shorts.  I'm pretty sure I saw some butt cheeks at that game last night.

Third, the "kids" look very different now than they did back in my day.  I said several times last night that the kids today look much older.  I know.  It makes me sound like an old maid.  But the girls had much bigger boobs and the boys looked like full grown men.  As I watched the team warm up, I was amazed at the amount of facial hair on the field!!

Fourth, divorce sucks.  I know ... seems completely unrelated to football.  But we went to the game with my brother-from-another-mother to watch his son play.  And as we sat amongst the family that included his ex-wife and her new boyfriend, her other ex-husband and his parents, and my aunt, I was reminded of how much I loved this family when they were a complete unit.  Shane and Dan were one of my favorite couples; I loved being at their house and around their kids (who are now on the brink of adulthood).  I hate that their family fell apart.  However, it was nice to see everyone getting along last night (and I hope it wasn't just for show).

Last, Go, Hayden Hall!!!  How awesome to watch the little boy that I used to hold in diapers.  He is an awesome player and an even better young man.  Shane, you've done good!!  I look forward to possibly watching him on TV one day!!

10 minutes

Idea stolen from friend and fellow blogger Tara Atkisson ...

I have all these thoughts flying around in my head; not necessarily ideas, per se, but thoughts.

So instead of waiting for the proper blog to form around the thoughts (which I've been doing for several months now ...), I'm just going to spout them off.  Right here.  Right now.

And I'm going to do it in 10 minutes because that's all the time I have before I need to get ready for work.

• Annie finally finished her second puppy class and is a graduate of the Advanced beginners class at MerryMac Dog Training.  No, she wasn't the highest achiever in her class.  But what do you expect when a) her classmates were all retrievers, labs, and poodles, and b) she missed a class because her people had to go out of town for a week?  I think she did very well ... but I am a little partial to the cute little thing.
• I interviewed for a job last week.  Most people already know that.  It was very grueling ... the process, not the interview.  It was my first interview since I graduated FROM COLLEGE IN 2000, and this interview was very different from my interview with Jim Snell all those years ago. No, I didn't get the job, but I got some valuable experience out of it.
• Tanner lost a tooth.  Finally.  and he has two more that are loose and on their way out.  I'm such an awful mom ... T doesn't even have a tooth fairy "pillow" or "box" to put his teeth in; he had to borrow his sister's pouch because she has a pouch AND and pillow ...
• Tim and I have been looking for a new place to live.  Because it's such a long story to explain (and I don't really understand it myself), I'll just say its time to move on.  I love my house.  But my job prospects are limited in Cherokee County, and we're thinking it may be time to head back out to Cobb or Paulding.  Luckily, Tim can work from wherever we may roam, so roam we shall do.
• I made a meeting with Kendall's teacher for next week.  She brought home 3 bad grades last week, and I'm freaking out.  She looped this year, which means she has the same teacher and the same friends in class.  Love this idea of keeping the teacher, but I'm stating to wonder if the same friends are a bit of a distraction.
• She will kill me if she knows I ever posted this, but Kendall is "budding."  Are you familiar with this?  That's right, folks.  My 8 year old daughter is building some boobies.  Let's just hope that she gets more than her momma and grand momma.  ;)  The scary thing is that the pediatrician says that Aunt Flo usually follows within about 2 years.  Ugh.  So. Not. Ready.
• The reason i stopped blogging so much was because I had developed quite a routine with my exercise.  Unfortunately, for my energy and my backside, the exercise tapered when we went on vacation in September.  The trip was awesome, but the weight gain was not.  I've gotten 2 pounds off and I guess it's time to "push play" again and get the rest off.  
• Or ... I can just add on some layers and cover them up with fluffy sweaters because IT'S FALL, Y'ALL!!!
• I officially suck at being a friend.  I realized last week during my job interview process that I absolutely, whole-heartedly do not deserve some of the friends I have.  For those of you who go out of your way to help and support me, I love you.  And I'm really going to try harder to reciprocate.
• It's been 10 minutes and I have so much more to say but I must tame the beast that has become my hair.  Or the hair that has become my beast.  Whatever.

Come back another day and I'm sure I'll have more to share.  For now I'm off to get pretty for a day of wiping butts.

Blood, Sweat, and Tears ... But Mostly Sweat ...

After completing a completely un-required (not a word, I know) workout that ended with me crying in the family room, I remembered, "Hey, I was supposed to post about my results from Insanity!"

Yes, most people do their thinking on the toilet or in the shower; I do my thinking (as a procrastination mechanism, I'm certain) during my workouts and when I'm supposed to be sleeping.

Anyhoodle, Tim and I finished our 60 days of pure terror on Sunday.  Most of you who have talked to me since then have asked, "So???  How was it?  Did it get any easier at the end?"

To which I reply and emphatic, "NO!"


At some point in one of the workouts Shaun T says (amidst his silly giggles and slip ups referring to body parts and their positions) something about how, as your endurance improves, you just push harder, so the workouts never really get "easier."  I suppose that's why even the "machines" in the videos start to drop like flies at the close of each workout.

So here I am, 3 days post-Insanity, and I'm still doing the workouts.  I don't really know what to do now.  I can't imagine not doing anything ... and we have the Peachtree Road Race coming up next week, so I don't want to quit cold turkey.  Tim and I are going to do another round after the Race, with the hopes of getting some super duper results.

But, for now, as promised, here are the results for round 1.

Finishing weight (after 2 weeks of Weight Watchers combined with Insanity workouts):
128.4 lbs

Waist: 28"
Hips: 35.5"
Left thigh: 22.5"
Right thing: 21.5"

Fit Test:

Switch kicks: 124 (started with 84)
Power jacks: 63 (started with 49)
Power knees: 120 (started with 92)
Power jumps: 51 (started with 20)
Globe jumps: 11 (started with 5)

Suicide jumps: 19 (started with 13)
Push-up jacks: 27 (started with 14)
Low plank obliques: 72 (started with 50)

Can I get a Hell, Yeah?!!

And here are some before and after pictures ... again, not the results I was hoping for, but I didn't really try as hard as I could have.  (But why work so hard if I can't enjoy a glass of wine or a cookie now and then??)

Before 133 lbs.

After 128 lbs.

Before

After

After

OK, so I still don't look like the chicks in the video.  But I can certainly see differences in my body.  My legs are much stronger (though I may need knee replacement surgery before I'm 40).  My stamina has increased.  My muscles can endure a lot more now than they could just 60 days ago.  We all know a tan makes everything look better. ;0) And I have sweated more than I thought I could.  Seriously ... when we finish a 55 minute workout, we look like we've run 5 miles in the 90 degree heat!  And we do it in the comfort of our air conditioning!!


I appreciate those of you who have asked about my "journey."  My close friends know I detest(ed) exercise.  I hate(d) to sweat.  But I cannot thank my hubs enough for talking me into doing this.  And I'm glad I didn't know what I was getting into -- or I probably wouldn't have done it.  I can't imagine someone jumping (literally) right into this one.  But it is by far the best workout I've ever done.

Moving backwards

Oh!  Forgot to post this for those people who read and ask ...

Week 7 Fit Test: Here's a link if you want to see what these exercises look like.  Pam the Blam shows you how it's done.

133.6 pounds (Yes, that's up ...)

Switch kicks: 123 (down from 126 last time)
Power jacks: 61
Power knees: 111
Power jumps: 45
Globe jumps: 10.5 (down from 11 last time)
Suicide jumps: 20
Push-up jacks: 24 (down from 25)
Low plank obliques: 60 (stayed the same)

Honestly, though, I don't see how I could do more of some of these.  I can only go so fast ...

I didn't do any measurements this time because I was too upset with my numbers that are down.

Or the weight that is up.

So I decided to jump back on the Weight Watchers bandwagon.

Upside is I get 9 activity points for a HIIT workout. :)  So I haven't delved into any of my extra points allowance yet since I started 4 days ago.  And I'm forcing myself not to get on the scale.

I know, Shaun T would scream at me for "dieting," but it's the only way I know.  I'm still makings use to eat lots of protein (egg whites with ricotta and chives this morning).  But I find that when I write my food down (and research proves this is true for almost everyone), I pay more attention to what I put in my mouth.

So Weight Watchers it is.  I miss the days of losing weight just working out or just dieting.

As Tim said yesterday, "Getting old sucks."

Not Among the Masses

I may be shot for this post.

But I'm going to post it anyway.

I finally finished Fifty Shades of Grey last night.  I say "finally" because I've been trying to read it for about a month or so now.

Yes, ladies, it took me more than 10 hours (gasp!) to read the first installment in the trilogy.  Not because I was sneaking away to be alone or because I wanted to read it by myself so no one would see me blushing.  But because I honestly didn't enjoy it.

I bought the book for my Kindle under false pretenses.  After reading all the rave reviews from my mommy friends, I was hoping for some good, what I prefer to call, mindless beach smut.  But this book goes above and beyond that.  The term "Mommy Porn" has been used loosely to describe it; I think that is a rough estimate of what falls between the overs of this one.  Being a modest, semi-private, Christian woman, I just couldn't get into this one.

I'm sure there is a story in there somewhere, but I couldn't get past all the dirty sex and F-bombs to find the story.

So there you go.  I will not be reading the 2nd and 3rd books.  I'm just not interested.  I don't care if Anastasia takes him back.  I don't care if they have a beautiful love story when its all over with.  I don't care who plays Christian or Ana in the movie (though i find it terribly difficult to imagine them actually making a MOVIE out of this ...).  I don't care why he is the way he is, where the scars came from, or why she didn't run for the hills the first time he opened that door.

And that's several hours of party planning I've missed and $9.99 I'll never get back.

Apparently there are others who agree with me ... for different reasons ...

Feel free to post your disagreements ... now ...

Blessings

Every year as June 6th rolls around, I find myself in a really grumpy mood.  Of course, I don't realize why the grump has washed over me.  I usually contribute it to a full moon or grouchy kids who are already bored with their summer vacation.  Or I may blame it on Tim's work schedule or my lack of direction/motivation or the fact that I'm so frustrated with not being able to find another teaching job.

Alas, I woke up this morning and Kendall announced, "Today is June 6th, Mommy."

She was, of course, reminding me that her 8th birthday is only 10 days away.

But all I heard was "June 6th."  And I was suddenly overwhelmed with sorrow.  Most of you know today is the anniversary (which I hate calling it because anniversaries are supposed to be happy ...) of my dad's death.  Yes, I still remember every second of that day.  I'm not sure those memories will ever fade.

But what does scare me is that other memories are fading -- I don't dream of him as much as I used to.  I remember what he looks like and what his voice sounds like, but somethings I can't remember.  And that makes me so sad.

How will I tell the kids about their grandpa if I can't remember every single bit of him?  How can I make then understand what a loving and caring man he was?  How can I make them understand his passions and his ambitions?  How will I ever be able to make them believe how much he loved them -- even Tanner, whom he never met?

After moping for an hour and thinking about how to talk to them about what I'm feeling, I instead decided to look at it a different way.

I am so blessed to have had a man like that as my daddy.  I am blessed to have videos of him with his voice, so I'll never forget.  I'm blessed he was there to walk me down the aisle and to dance with me at my wedding.  I'm blessed I was able to see him holding my first born.  I'm blessed to have heard (and read) the words telling me he was proud of me.  I'm blessed to have handwritten notes and photos of him so I'll never forget what he looked like.

And I can share all of those memories with my kids, his grand babies.  I hope that my older nieces know how blessed they are to have memories of him.  He adored his granddaughters.  And I know he would have given anything to laugh with his grandsons.

So instead of being sad today, I will instead hold onto these blessings.

Hot mom check in ...

OK, "hot" may be a stretch.  But it's working.

I had high hopes for doubling up on the workouts once the kids were out of school.

Uh hunh.  I think I forgot they are both perfectly capable of walking on their own and complaining.  The.  Entire. Time I am trying to get in a good walk.

Anyhoodle, Tim and I did take a brief hiatus over the holiday weekend.  We know Memorial Day is not about cookouts and partying on the boat or by the pool, but we celebrated our freedom by drinking low calorie beer and eating the best damn brisket ever smoked on a Green Egg.

Yes, my husband is the master.

And we figured since it was our "Recovery Week" with Insanity, it was OK to take a day or three off.  (Mind you, Tim still had us doing some massive reconstruction in the yard.  Imagine ropes tied around tree trunks ... large holes in the ground ... the two of us attempting to pull ton-size trees from the bed of his truck, etc.)  Needless to say, there was no break-taking.

But we did bask in the glory of the sun for two days at our insanely crowded neighborhood pool and partake of a few adult beverages.

So Monday it was back to the grind.  And we were ready.

Well ... until we weren't.

Brisket and beer wreak havoc on your internal organs.

And my internal organs were screaming about half-way through the fit test.

But we proceeded through 35 minutes of a fit test and an hour long, grueling max interval circuit.

And I wanted to die when it was over.  To be specific I wanted to die 5 or 6 times, and I may have even asked Jesus to take me home more than that ...

Then, as Tim and I lay in a pool of sweat on the family room floor, we vowed to get back on track with our eating and un-drinking.

So even after a weekend of bad behavior, here are the results from this week's fit test.

Week 5 (Which is technically Week 6 of working out):

Switch kicks: 126
Power jacks: 60
Power knees: 109
Power jumps: 40
Globe jumps: 11
Suicide jumps: 16
Push up jacks: 25
Low plank obliques: 60

Weight: 130.2

Waist: 28"
Hips: 36"
Left thigh: 22 1/8"
Right thigh: 21 1/5"

My fit test results are a marked improvement from the beginning.  And, as an added bonus, I can actually make it through the entire minute of exercise before bad words start flying from my mouth.

Aside from all of the numbers (and I've sworn off the scale until I get to my fit test days), I can finally SEE the difference.  Yes, Tim and I bask in our glory at night before bed, examining each other's muscles.  Last night was particularly funny ...

"Hey, did you know there's a muscle right here?"
"Yep.  Look a this one on my arm."
"I have that one too!  And look at this one.  Do you have this one?"

I know.  We're pretty funny.

And even better?  For family pictures last week I got into my size 4 skinnies.

A huge feat considering I couldn't get my fat ass in them a few months ago.

But I held onto them.

And when this is over I'll reward myself with a new pair of skinnies ... in a smaller size.

Thanks to those of you who keep checking in on me and asking how it's going.  The downfall to posting all of these updates is that everyone expects us to look like the people in the videos when they see us at the pool.  And we absolutely don't. But I'm not sure we ever could ... I mean, I have carried two substantially-sized babies in my little frame.  We are both over 30.  We have lived years eating the wrong foods and drinking the wrong drinks.  And honestly, Tim and I don't feel the need to push ourselves that hard.  Sure, we sit at the pool and look at other couples and say, "We really need to get serious about this ...," but then we pop open another Bud Light Lime or eat another handful of almonds.

It's all good.  We're getting there.

And while you may not want my abs or my cottage-cheesy thigh when its all over with, you WILL want these arms and shoulders ...

And that's all you see in clothes anyway. ;0)